Jesters and Jokers (JokerxOC)
by JoJoking
Summary: She was just a normal girl in Gotham, wanting to lead a normal life... All until one fateful night.
1. Clubs and Aces

_For this story it should be known that Harley and Joker aren't together. It's best to assume that Joker 'got rid of her' after his escape from Arkham, but that will be explained further in this story. It should also be noted the relations between characters in this isn't entirely lovey dovey and does majorly involve abuse. This is based on the Joker from Suicide Squad._

I was walking back to my apartment from work, my day had been long and tedious and I was relieved this would be the start of the weekend yet again. The night had come and once again the stars of Gotham tried to glow above us, but were made bleak in comparison to the gleaming bat signal that shone above the city. A sign of hope, allowing the innocents to walk the streets without the fear of something terrible happening to them.

I sighed to myself as I slid the key into my apartment block door, it was nothing fancy but definitely good for the price. I made my way up the three flights of stairs to the top floor – a pain that the elevator was no longer working – and slumped onto my grey couch as soon as I entered my flat. It saddened me that I rented this flat as I looked around the room, it meant that the walls had to remain their cold white stance whereas I would have preferred to add a bit of an alternative feel to it simply to make it feel a bit more at home. But in all my furniture was modern, comfortable, and a bit more _me_. As I lay back into the cushions I let my brown eyes slide to a close.

The hassle of today flooded my head as I imagined all the chaos that had ensued in the office, everyone in the paper was made to write a different report on the Jokers crimes – he was running wild yet again thanks to Dr Harleen Quinzel letting him out of Arkham Asylum many months ago – yet he was so clever as to make sure none of his crimes directly led to him, meaning that if they police would even attempt to go after him they had no proof. Not that they had such strong forces to go through a 'businessman' such as the Joker. It was a stressful day, and doing such a job made it impossible to feel comforted by the bat symbol in the sky unlike the other civilians in the city. I could only imagine how the police felt considering they were his number one target.

Just as I felt my consciousness slowly slip into sleep the phone on the side table began to ring, causing me to sit upright in jolt. Blinking my blurred eyes back to its accurate vision I reached for the phone.  
"Hello?" I answered, trying to hold back a yawn.  
"Jess? Hey! God you sound like a sleepy head… it's only 8 o'clock and I sincerely hope you haven't forgotten our arrangement for tonight" my friends voice, Jane, laughed down the phone.

Suddenly my brain was alert and I was mentally slapping myself for forgetting this was the first night I was meant to be seeing Jane since she got back from her trip. Apparently she had arranged the whole thing. "No-no of course not! But just to …eh… refresh my memory, what time are you coming over?"  
"I'm down stairs, buzz me in" she laughed.  
"Yes… right… I'll see you in a second." I hung up the phone and ran to the buzzer next to the door, pressing it quickly then trying to sort my work clothes out to make it look slightly less crumpled. Soon enough Jane was at my door and her excitement and flamboyancy was lighting up the atmosphere in my otherwise silent flat.

After about half an hour of gossiping and catching up – the men that have come and gone in our lives, the work challenges, the travelling and sights she got to see as she travelled across Europe – she decided it was time to get ready. She had brought a small overnight bag for herself, always being planned and co-ordinated in her outfits for a night out as usual, and knew she would be the one dominating the control of my wardrobe. The two of us sat on the floor in front of the mirrors that doubled as doors over my wardrobe and fixed our hair and makeup, I tried my best to cover the bags under my eyes that blemished my tanned skin. I applied my black winged eyeliner, a thin layer of matte dark red lipstick and my face was complete. I allowed my rustled dark brown jaw length hair flow and soon enough Jane threw a black tight dress my way.

The one she chose I had never worn, I had bought it for a special occasion that… well just to my terrible luck never actually happened. I managed to hide the pained look in my eye from Jane, knowing she'd feel guilty if she realise it was the dress I was going to wear on the night I was going to celebrate my engagement. Instead I grabbed the dress and held myself together with an stiff upper lip.  
Then soon enough the two of us were done. We looked like opposites, Jane was pale, tall, and very slender with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I had no idea how she hadn't found a man for herself yet, she was without doubt stunning beyond compare. But maybe that was why, I always joked it was because she had too much choice running after her the whole time. Not to say that I was bad in my luck with men, I have had my fair share of admirers yet the ones I was interested in… well something always seemed to get in the way.

Jane had chosen a new nightclub that I had never been to but thankfully it wasn't far from my apartment allowing us to be able to walk there without the torture of our feet hurting in our heels. I was nervous to say the least, this place gave off a certain feel about it – as though you were safe but only to an extent, only if you play by the rules. Yet I tried my best to shrug this off as we entered, and the club music flooded through my ears – these nerves could well just be due to the fact that I hadn't been out in such a scene for quite a while.

"Relax Jess! You're young, you're beautiful, and you fit in perfectly" she beamed, flashing her grin. Soon enough I had drank a fair bit, I allowed myself to be dragged onto the dance floor by Jane and I ended up dancing, with anyone and everyone I met – finally unleashing myself and having some much needed fun. From the corner of my eye I noticed a seating area, obviously for important people as it was placed far away from the rest of the booths and provided a view straight onto the dance floor. It probably catered to some people's preferences considering it more importantly overlooked glass boxes framed with gold which had beautiful women dancing in them.

However, something in that seating area caught everyone's notice if only for a split second, there was a loud bang – which sounded like a shot of a gun – and yet everyone paid little attention to it. It was as though they were used to it, or too scared to take obvious note of it. So like the rest I paid no heed to the bang.


	2. What's your poison?

The night continued and bit by bit I was feeling more and more natural on the dance floor and surrounded by the other bodies swaying to the beat. A guy that had apparently – according to Jane – been watching me from the bar made his way over to me. He was gorgeous to say the least with slicked back hair and dark brown eyes. His smile was cheeky and his hands slipped round my waist as I let my arms glide round his neck, pulling him closer as we danced to the beat.

"I'm Nick" he told me, leaning to my ear so to be heard over the music. "How come I've never seen you round these parts?" he asked, a flirtatious tone evident in his voice.

I could see Jane – who was dancing with a couple of other people I think she knew – wink at me as she watched from afar, obviously proud to see I was slowly progressing out of my comfort zone.  
"I don't come here often I'm afraid" I replied in a sultry tone.

We continued to dance together for a while until the beat changed and I let my hands slowly trail down Nick's body, but just as it reached his ribs I felt something under his jacket. My eyes flicked to his as I cocked an eyebrow, slowly moving his coat to the side so I could see what was underneath. My heart dropped in fear. It was a gun.

"Relax" he murmured before he laughed gently, "I'm a body guard of sorts to the owner of the club. I ain't gonna shoot you sweetie."

His response only eased my nerves slightly, I tried very hard to get it out of my mind but I think he could see it was bothering me. I just couldn't ignore the fact he had the capability to kill anyone in this club if he so desired. What type of club boss needed body guards inside their _own_ club with _guns_. He continued to say sweet nothings in my ear as to ease me back to him, before suggesting he got us drinks. He left for the bar and I was relieved to have my space back yet the whole time I felt as though I had a pair of eyes on me – and not just Jane's. I tried my hardest to shrug off the paranoid feeling I had and instead approached Jane and her friends. She introduced them all in the time it took Nick to deliver me my drink as we stood in the centre of the dance floor.  
Just as I was about to take a drink I saw people around me slowly back away, even Jane that was staring me dead in the eye as though I should move – **immediately _._ **

I was getting cautious as I lifted the drink closer to my mouth, watching as her eyes dotted between me and something behind me. Something behind me that everyone else's eyes were fixated on, the music suddenly grew quieter. I watched as people whispered, others stopped everything they were doing and kept their heads down, only allowing themselves to glance up occasionally. A hand was suddenly placed on my shoulder.

"I wouldn't drink that" a voice said from behind me. I froze in the spot, that voice was all too familiar and as I lowered my drink and turned my head slowly, seeing an inhumanly pale hand on my shoulder I turned my body entirely to the entity behind me. The Joker.

My eyes were fixated, my lips slightly parted in fear and shock. There he stood in all his famed glory – if you could call it that. His pale tattooed hand reached for my glass as his piercing blue eyes stared menacingly into mine, not moving them in the slightest as he handed my glass to one of his men behind him.

"You" he snarled, raising his hand and pointing at Nick who was stationed to my right. He curled his finger, beckoning him to come closer. As Nick stepped closer his gaze finally broke from mine and I felt I was able to breathe again. I hadn't noticed I had been holding my breath in fear. "Apologise" he growled. His metal teeth gleaming under the lights in the club as he grinned.

"I-I- Sir, Mister, I didn't do nothing. I swear" Nick stuttered, his voice shaking and eyes glancing around the room obviously trying to find any escape route possible.

A shrill laugh filled the room and he tilted his head back theatrically. I tried to take a step back but just as I was about to my arm was grabbed and I was pulled round in front of him. Now facing Nick as I stood tensed, my back just mere centimetres away from the Joker. So close I could feel the warmth of his body radiating, making me even more on edge. His hands gripped my arms to my sides, shaking me as he spoke, "APPOLOGISE! YOU RAT!"  
"I-I'm sorry" Nick stuttered.  
"Good." He paused letting go of my arms and wandering around the empty circle on the dance floor that had been created by the wall of people that had tried to back away from the notorious man. "Take him away" he muttered, not even looking back at Nick as his men dragged him away kicking and screaming 'boss'. "Everyone. Back to it." And with that the music was loud again and people hesitantly started to re-enter the dance floor area where he stood, yet a clearing was still made around him.

I was stood motionless, staring at him as he looked around the room. I could feel Jane's eyes bore into me yet she knew not to come close, not yet. This wasn't over. He spun on his heel and grinned at me before pacing forward. Where he walked, people parted.

"Would you be a doll and join me? There's matters to discuss." He smirked.  
As I opened my mouth to object his hand was on my wrist, "that wasn't an offer, perhaps I worded it wrong."

With that I was led to the VIP section I had previously noted. I turned back and glanced at Jane as I followed him up the stairs, her eyes filled with fear for me yet I knew she was helpless. There was nothing she could do. I had to oblige.

He sat down at a circular booth, his eyes analysing those on the dancefloor. I stood awkwardly to the side of the booth, not feeling confident enough to sit down. "I hope you understand that business is business. That man, though one of my men, is no good. He tampered the drink" he said before turning his head back to me. He looked between me and the other half of the booth opposite him before he let out a cackle. "Sit! Sit girly, sit!" He was practically bouncing in his seat from amusement.

Slowly I sat down, the large table in front of me the only thing between us. His men were near, though far enough away that no conversation could be heard – only watched.  
"Thank you, Mister-Mister Joker" I replied, my voice quieter than usual as I tried to choose every word carefully. I was not going to tempt him into killing me right then and there.

The corner of his lips twitched upwards, "No need for such formalities – call me J, or Mr J. Whichever is your preference pumpkin."

I nodded in response. My mouth felt dry from fear.  
"Don't talk a lot eh kid?" he cocked his brow – or where I assume there was to be an eyebrow. "That's alright I can talk for the world" he joked.

"So do you… Do you own this place" I managed to say.

"My pride and glory" he exclaimed, raising his arms dramatically. He then ran his hand through his hair before sighing, "in order to maintain my… eh… good… business I hope you know you will have an eye kept on you throughout the night. As does you're little friend over there. Wow, does she like to stare." His eyes danced with amusement as he looked up, staring Jane dead in the eye causing her to flinch and turn around trying to pretend to be busy.

"That's very generous of you…J" I forced a smile upon my lips. Truly trying to get on his good side in order to be let free. "I don't mean to be disrespectful, and it's not that I'm not honoured to be in your company but would you mind-" his eyes flicked back to me upon hearing that there was a request, I imagined it would be unusual someone would be so bold as to do so, "-Would you mind if I returned to my friend. I don't feel comfortable leaving her down there with such strangers." I watched as a grin appeared once more on his face, he leaned onto the table before him. His face now inches from mine.  
"Of course" he enthused. "And for tonight, you are welcome up here if need be. But _only_ for tonight."  
"Thank you, I'll be sure to see you before I leave. It was a-a pleasure meeting you. And truly thank you" the words rushed out my mouth from nerves.

He once again turned his attention to the dance floor, his hands fiddling on the table before one made a small flicking motion, a sign to show I was excused. I waited no time in standing up and collecting my bag off the seat before I walked as calmly yet as quickly as possible back down the steps to Jane.

Everyone glanced at me as I reappeared on the dance floor.  
"Gosh are you alright?!" Jane cried in relief, hugging me closely.

As I hugged her back I allowed myself to glance to the VIP section once more, he was watching. "Yes… Oddly enough I feel great."


	3. Bats in the Belfry

Jane didn't take her eyes off of me for the rest of the night and I knew she was dying to know what happened when he took me away. Yet I think she could see I was still trying to come to terms with it myself and so didn't push to know. I had just stared into the eyes of a mass murderer, the worst criminal in the whole of Gotham…and he had _saved_ me? I suppose it was his way of keeping his nightclub popular, it would hardly be busy if people started to realise that the owners own men were drugging customers.

I made a deal to myself that I wouldn't return. I couldn't return. I wasn't going to play any more games with fate and try my hand at surviving another night and another encounter. Knowing my luck the same would happen again and I'd be killed for being a nuisance.

I continued to dance and drink – buying them and keeping an eye on them myself. In all the intoxicating alcohol was soon wiping the unusual event that unfolded from my mind slowly, to the point it seemed like a distant dream as I found new people to dance with over and over again.

Soon enough Jane and I agreed it was time to go. Yet one thought dominated my mind, I had said I'd see him before I left. Would he be annoyed if I didn't? As Jane was grabbing her bag and scarf while she flirted with a young businessman named Luke, who she seemed rather interested in for once and so she was hoping to go home with.

I glanced over to where he was previously sat, he was now leaning against the side of the booth talking to another man. Another gangster it seemed as this man was not wearing the same clothes as the rest of Joker's workers.

His eyes gazed across his club as he listened to the desperate looking man talk. His eyes caught mine and I once again saw his cocky smirk spread across his face. "I'll be back in a second, don't go anywhere" I told Jane before I began to walk back to the VIP section, as confidently as I could. I had a feeling he could smell fear like a shark. As I neared the steps I saw him shoo away the man he was talking to and the _employees_ (you could say) all ushered back a few steps and began talking among themselves, as though to provide some privacy. I began to step slowly up the stairs, trying to maintain my composure. I watched as he slid the holster – which I had just noticed he had been wearing – off of his shoulders. The threat of him killing me minimalised.

When I was almost at the top of the steps he leaned over and offered a hand, I politely placed mine in his and he led me round to the same booth as before. "And to what do I owe the pleasure" he bowed waving his hands before him before rising up and grinning at me, his blue eyes surrounded by black circles, making him look all the more vicious. I had no idea what his intent was.

"I just wanted to thank you again, and to let you know my friend and I will be on our way so you need not worry about us anymore." I answered, suddenly noticing how tall he was in comparison to me. His slender yet muscular build towered over me. If he were to do anything – I would be helpless. He nodded once, still smiling through his metal teeth. "It was a pleasure to meet you Mister J." I held my hand out to shake his, he laughed looking at his men expecting them to laugh with him before he took hold of my hand and kissed the top of it instead.

"The pleasure was all mine dollface" he remarked. And with that I turned and left, I could feel my cheeks burning up from his actions, not because I was into it but because I was so scared, because I didn't know who else had seen it, what would other people think?!  
As I caught up with Jane once again, who thankfully hadn't moved from her position, I glanced down at my hand. There was a large red lipstick stain now smeared across the back of it from where his lips had been. A mimic of his own tattoo almost.

"Jessica Lane?" A deep rough voice called as soon as we stepped into the fresh air. One of the bouncers at the door stepped forward as I turned to see where the voice was coming from.

"Yes?" I asked, trying to keep my balance in the heels that were bit by bit agonising my feet.

"The boss wants you take this car home. It'll go anywhere you say." He glanced to Jane and Luke before continuing, "Another car will be here shortly for your friends."

"Oh" was all I could muster. I turned to Jane and Luke, who had his arm wrapped around her wait tightly – probably to prop the both of them up. "Well… I'll see you later I suppose. Let me know when you get home" I hugged Jane tightly as we said our goodbyes, before giving Luke a polite wave as I wandered closer to the car. Another man opened the door – I was beginning to feel like a guest of honor at this place. As I slid into the car I found myself relishing the comfortable seat. The weight off my feet and the luxury of the fact I didn't have to walk home alone in the dark. In the back of the car I slid off my shoes and rested my head back listening to the classical music that gently filled the car from the radio.

In no time at all we were outside my apartment block. I thanked the driver and offered to pay him – to which he utmost refused. I found my way inside my flat and slowly began to undress as I wandered to my bedroom, leaving my clothes as a trail of my footsteps.

I wrapped my dressing gown lightly around myself, tying it loosely around my waist. I opened the large glass doors in my bedroom which led to my balcony. I stood leaning on the rail, gazing at the city lights as they shone like stars in the darkness. The city was as far as your eye could reach and the night so dark you couldn't see the pavement below. The wind swept my brown hair to one side as I sighed, the fresh air sobering me up. I could listen to the noise of those enjoying their nights, the couples falling in love, the fathers returning from night-shifts at work, this was one of the few times I could ever let myself feel true peace.

"You met him." An almost robotic voice grumbled behind me. I jolted up at the sound of it and turned to my left. There he stood. The caped crusader, the dark knight, the batman.

"Who?" I asked, my nerves considerably less than that of meeting the joker – obviously.

"The Joker. What's he up to? What did he want with you?" he questioned, there was no hesitation in his voice. He knew what he wanted to know without any doubt in his mind.

"I have no idea. I met him for only a few moments, he stopped me from drinking a drink that a man had drugged. That was all." I swore to him, I wasn't about to lie to the face of Gotham.

"Very well" he replied. I turned back to looking at the city, "is that the only reason you came? What do you want with him?" I received no reply and as I looked back to where he had stood – he was gone.

"So I guess it's true, he just vanishes" I laughed to myself before dragging my tired and worn out body to bed.


	4. Honey I'm home

A week had passed since that fateful night out in Gotham. Work had been a bit calmer recently, which I would love to say made everyone feel a bit more relaxed but usually when it came to the Joker there was only a calm before the storm. But it was yet again Friday night, but instead of going out Jane and I had arranged a simple night out in at mine.

Yet again she arrived around 8 o'clock, we ordered our food and perched ourselves on the couch. "So did you see Luke again?" I questioned, cocking an eyebrow as I continued to scan the choices of DVD's we had before us.

"I saw him once more, I mean we still message but I just don't know if it's really what I'm looking for…" she pursed her lips.

"What do you mean?"

"Ironically enough, I think things are now the other way around. I want a relationship and he… he doesn't seem to be that type." She huffed a laugh, shocked that it was this way around for once and she wasn't the one running from commitment. "You never did explain everything that happened that night with you know who…" she added after a while. Her eyes flicked to my face, filled with curiosity.

I explained the entire scenario to her as simply as possible so there was no chance she'd read too much into any actions and fear for our lives…or knowing her something more ridiculous.

"Wait so you got to meet the batman?!" She exclaimed, overwhelmed with excitement.

I couldn't help but laugh as I slid a DVD into the machine and crawled back to the couch. "Yes, yes I did." I claimed proudly.

We saluted our glasses of wine to that and settled down to watch the movie.

The time flew by too quickly and soon enough it was time for Jane to head home, apparently she had a job interview in the morning. She was desperate to find work now that she had returned to Gotham.

I decided I needed to buy a few things at the grocery store just down the road, so I pulled my coat and shoes on and left my apartment with Jane. She was continuing to tell me how she wished Luke was more for a relationship but she feared she was coming off to desperate and that's what she thought was putting him off. The usual shebang with gossip I suppose. Soon enough I had walked her to the taxi rank, I waved her off and then headed on my way to the shop.

It was still relatively early in the night – about half 11 latest. Still way too early for the party goers to be drunkenly stumbling home. Yet my neighborhood still felt a bit too empty for this time of night. I wandered into the shop and collected the items I needed and swiftly paid and left. I opened up a bottle of chocolate milk I had bought myself and decided to take the quicker route back to my flat which would unavoidably mean I would have to pass by _his_ night club. But I begged to the world that I didn't bump into anyone and that no hassle would occur.

As I walked down the streets I tried my hardest not to pay attention to the eerie silence that flooded them for the time being. It would from time to time be broken by a passing car or the occasional person chatting away to a friend or on the phone, but when they weren't there everything seemed to stand dead still.

I was now turning onto a main street, meaning I only had a couple of minutes' walk left until I was at my apartment. Shockingly as I neared the now familiar nightclub I was shocked to see very few lights were on, and music was not blaring like it was the past week. There was also no civilians gathering around, trying to get in or smoking outside but instead there were a few parked cars and just two bouncers outside who looked bored out their minds.

I couldn't help my curiosity and I went up to the bouncer and asked if it was open, he raised his eyebrows at me – taking in my appearance and knowing I had no intentions to go to a club tonight, that or I was delusional about how to get in.

"Na not tonight. Important business." The bouncer replied, before turning back to his friend and continued their conversation from before. I took that as a sign for me to keep walking.

I felt as though I was being followed the entire way there, yet thankfully it took me no time at all to reach my home. Once inside I made myself a hot chocolate and once again went onto the balcony. Sipping away at the warm drink in between my hands I gazed across the city that was just getting to sleep – and others just becoming more alive. I let my eyes close as I listened to the wind whistle through all the streets and buildings, dreaming of how perfect a life I could have one day.

My imagination began to go deeply. I felt hands at my waist, warming my body and making me immediately more relaxed. But suddenly I realised it felt a bit too real… I wasn't imagining having someone do that.

"Peaceful isn't it?" his voice was a trademark. You would know immediately who it was from just that voice.

I dropped my mug in shock as my eyes flew open. The hot chocolate spilt across the floor as the mug smashed before my feet. I turned out of his grip and backed away – not caring that pieces of the mug were slowly embedding themselves in the base of my foot. "What are you doing here?!" I shrieked in fear, I was now backed up against the railings of the balcony.

He let out a howl of laughter, "Oh don't be like that! I haven't been anything but _delightful_ to you."

"I-I know… But just please don't kill me. I'm sorry for whatever it is I've done! Truly I am just please don't do it!" I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes in fear as I rose a hand pleading with him.

"Oh I'm not going to kill you! Why would I do that?! No…no… I need you for something dollface" he grinned. He once again offered his hand, his tattoos showing from just underneath his silver blazer. He say my hesitation at taking it as I glanced between his hand and his face. " _I promise_ " he said in a bored tone, "now quit playing around and get in." He lowered his hand and walked into my apartment whether or not I was going to follow.

I crept inside, trying my best to stay off the parts of my feet that I could feel were serrated from the broken ceramic. "You're gonna get blood on your wonderful carpet" he giggled, "what a _shame_ ".

I lowered myself onto my bed so my feet were off the ground, free of all pressure. I got tissues from the bedside table and began pulling pieces out, trying as much as I could to stop myself from flinching or letting out any sign of pain and weakness. "What is it you need from me?" I asked, watching as he wandered around my room scrutinising each and every part of it.

"It's a nice place you got here… I'm gonna need to stay a while." He turned and flashed those metal jaws.

"Why?! Surely there's somewhere else to go!" I objected. The idea of him staying here was enough to make me sick. I would be constantly on edge and anxious. I would be helping a criminal. If anyone found out my life would be ruined, goodbye career, goodbye friends, goodbye everything.

"Calm down Toots! It'll be fun! Just like a slumber party but hey you get a clown for your special nights! Basically… the bat turned up and yes he lost… again… Jeez does batsy need to improve his technique. It's just becoming no fun now. But anyway he turns up and tells me to stay away from you, that you're just an 'innocent little civilian'" he quoted using a fake sad voice. "Pathetic I say. Him not you don't worry darling. But anyway whatever he tells me to do… _WELL…_ I'm just going to do the opposite aren't I?!" He laughed to himself. "And before you object… Once again it was not a request."

I sat there silently, my feet now bleeding but finally clear of all ceramic. I couldn't look at him as I contemplated what my life had now become. How was I to work and go about life pretending this wasn't happening to everyone as this sociopathic maniac stayed in my apartment? What if a friend turned up and he killed them? I just couldn't fathom how this could ever end well. But I suppose like he said, it wasn't a request so I had no choice in the matter. My only other option is to be killed which quite frankly I wasn't willing to take. It meant I'd just have to risk it.


	5. Deception-What the world calls romance

I sat on the edge of my bed for several hours, too scared to move as I knew he wandered freely around my apartment. The entire time he had joked with me, toyed me, knowing I had been on the brink of tears many times at the thought of him being here. How he seemed to love the sight of me scared. I could hear him at times talk in the other rooms, though no conversation was directed at me through there. Not once did he remove his holster – sporting two guns – which I would struggle to take my eyes off in terror in case he began to reach for them.

I watched as he wandered out the room yet again, I could finally breathe without paranoia. My makeup was smudged under my eyes from tears that brimmed yet I forced myself to remain composed. I found the strength in my legs and I stumbled towards the bathroom. The cold water splashed on my face as I tried my hardest to feel myself. My head was running with questions, fears, and yet overall I felt _numb._ __

Everything I was processing was going so slow, all due to the fact that I had no idea how to handle the situation I was in. Would it be easier just to accept the fate that would befall me? I knew the Joker would one day no longer have a use for me and he wasn't one to leave open ends that could trace to him. I stared myself in the eye as I saw my worn out reflection.  
My eyes were surrounded with dark circles even though the makeup was now gone, my eyes were hooded from lack of sleep. I opened one of the cupboards and got the closest hair tie to me, scrapping my hair back and tying it in a messy bun. The clothes I was wearing would have to do. I wouldn't take my chance at getting changed while this murder stalked round my home.

As I returned to my room I noticed he had been gone for a quite a while, longer than the usual intervals he would take. I looked at the phone on my bedside table, tempted by my chance to call someone for help.

I slowly crept to my bed, trying as hard as I could to make it look like that wasn't what I was aiming for in case he walked in. As I sat down on the edge of it, my back to the door, my hand reached for it slowly and just as it was mere centimeters away from my hand his shrill laugh filled my ears. It echoed around my apartment for minutes, minutes that seemed to pass too slowly. I was frozen in my spot too scared to see if he had caught me in my moment of bravery. Then a gunshot rang throughout the apartment and I immediately looked behind me.

The room was empty. A relief flooded over me that I hadn't been caught.

Anxiously I rose to my feet and walked towards the door which was wide open – exactly how he had left it. After the gunshot I had decided it was best not to tempt my fate just yet. Instead I braved taking a look around what had befallen the rest of my apartment.  
As I stepped through I shrieked, causing everyone in the room to glance over at me – bar one man. The one man who was now laid on my once cream coloured carpet, blood soaking up inside it. A hole straight through his temple.

My eyes were fixed on the limp body on the floor. My breathing violently shaking and my hands going cold from shock. "Shh….my dear…shhh" the Joker's voice beckoned as he walked towards me, soon enough his lower abdomen covered my view of the dead man. His fingers grabbed my chin and pulled my field of vision to his face which was grinning menacingly at me, his cold blue eyes once again dancing with excitement at my fear.  
"You've got to learn to _smile_ more, doll" he giggled, placing his palm across my face with the tattoo on the back of it giving the idea of me grinning back at him. "Much better" he growled with satisfaction.

I stood frozen in my spot. He declared to me that if he removes this hand and I once again scream that'd I'd be killed. Immediately. I know knew where I stood. A pawn in the middle of a knight's fight.

Slowly his hand slipped away from my lips, he cocked an eyebrow waiting on some sort of reaction.

"Why me?" I asked, my voice as soft and as quiet as a whisper.

"Oh my dear, do not think for a moment that you're special. You're just all part of a plan. But we have more than enough time to talk of that, for now meet the crew!" He gestured his hand to the currently suit clad members in my living room.  
His hand smacked onto the small of my back, causing me to jolt forward slightly as he started to point at each man and introduce them. "At least one man shall be here at all times just to keep an eye on everything… Can't have you running off on us now can we?" he smirked.

As I looked at him dead in the eye I analysed his deathly pale face, eyes surrounded by smudged faded black makeup. The lack of eyebrows making his face seem more skeletal. The neat tattoo scrawled across his forehand saying ' _damaged'_ in an elegant script.  
His mouth was surrounded by messy lipstick, most of which rose above his actual lip lines – making his lips seeming forever poised and mouth enlarged.  
Around his neck he wore gold jewellery, in fact he wore a lot of gold jewellery. The small J tattoo on his cheekbone was rigid, as though it could have even been carved from a knife. All in all he looked like a gangster, a terrifying gangster. Not the ones you saw in all the TV series about criminals and such but one that if you looked straight into his eyes, you knew he was just after two things. Death and power.

My line of sight slowly drifted to the background just past his head, I could see my mobile on the coffee table in front of my couch. If I could just get a hold of it I could call or even text someone for help. I would be free.

The joker continued talking to his men as he gripped onto my body, restricting me from moving away. From trying anything that could possibly destroy his plans.  
Soon enough the men slowly began to leave my apartment - taking the body with them - all bar one who vanished into my study – where he was probably told to remain unnoticed until needed.

Finally the Joker's grip on me was released as he sat down on my couch. His arms spread across the back of it as he titled his head back and allowed his legs to separate. His entire being exhumed confidence. His tattooed forearms tensed and relaxed with the slow movements of his hand, it highlighted how ridiculously strong this slender man truly was. His chest, again evidently muscled, was covered in tattoos that dared to spread slightly onto his neck.  
"Sit girl" he demanded, not moving from his comfortable position. When he noticed the lack of movement he titled his head back up, deeply sighing. "You're rigidness is even making _me_ uncomfortable. Sit" he demanded once more flicking his head to the right slightly, motioning to the other half of the couch that he hadn't taken up.

Slowly I made my way round the coffee table and sat stiff at the other end, I was trying my utmost to stay as far away from him as possible.

"You weren't nearly as half as awkward as this in the club. I'm not going to kill you any time soon so _relax_ " he laughed.

"I had had quite a bit to drink… And I was in your place. A place I had no choice but to respect you… This is a rather different situation." I answered back. Immediately concerned I had been too aggressive in my reply.

He howled with laughter, "Quite some balls you got, you suggesting I am not to be respected here?" he cocked an eyebrow.

My cheeks began to burn and I knew I was becoming red with embarrassment and worry. "Oh don't be concerned! I like this you, a fiery you… A bit more entertainment than a pushover puppet." He grinned.

"I'm-I Just don't understand why I'm needed. I can hardly play a part in your plan. I'm useless to you and I'm sure there's many others that would adore to help you Mister J." I was trying to find any excuse to make him leave without harming me.

"Oh sweetie, you shouldn't think into things. But the difference between you and all those people wanting to work with me is that they're no fun… like I said they're puppets. Not to mention they tend to be the ones that mess up – they have nothing to lose, but you… You could lose your freedom! Gives you a drive…" He seemed proud of himself for having such a plan.

"Why did you help me? When Nick gave me that drink" I questioned, sensing that conversation was better than deadly silence.

"Ah to gain your trust! I would find out your name that way, find out where you live… And well that would all be essential to getting here! Like I said, part of a plan." he once again allowed his head to flop back as his voice trailed off, becoming a disinterested grumble.

"But I never told you my name…"

"Ah… But you told Nick. Gotta get the information you can out of your men before you _let them go_ " I could see a smile play on his lips. "But Nick did well… followed orders to a T until his services were no longer needed."

I felt my face go pale, I pushed myself to my feet and quickly began to back away. "You-You planned all of it? Nick approaching me, the drink, _everything_ " I stuttered, my feet leaving bloody footprints as I walked through the patch of blood embedded in my carpet.

The Joker flung himself to his feet laughing, he grabbed his black cane and began to stalk over to me. Every step he took I would counter with a step backwards until my back was pressed against the wall.

He slammed the cane up against me, its length pressing down against my shoulders as he pinned me beneath it. His hands enforced the pressure by gripping onto the cane just over my shoulders and pushing the base of his hand into my bones. I tried my hardest not to squeal in pain.  
He stopped his laughing and began to snarl quietly under his breath. His towering height making me feel weaker than ever as he bent his face down, like an animal analysing his prey he moved his head from side to side as though detailing every inch of my breathing was shaking and I looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Yes…" he grinned finally. "All of it" he repeated back to me.


	6. A Mans Kiss is His Signature

My dark brown eyes locked with his icy blue ones, the entertainment obvious in them. Without breaking eye contact I let my hands rise and start to try pull the cane off my body, his strength obviously outweighing mine and the fact my shoulders couldn't be moved off the wall didn't make it any easier. Instead I came up with a terrifying idea.

I loosened my grip on the shiny black cane and instead let my fingers trail very slowly towards his, softening my eyes as I did so and allowing my lips to part slightly. As soon as even one millimetre of my skin came into contact with his he tore his devious eyes away from mine and glanced down at my hand, confused as to what I was doing.

"Mister J…" I said, in an assertive yet gentle tone. Once again his eyes bore into mine. My fingers were now covering his as I tried my best to wrap them round his gently. I looked down at his lips, the idea revolted me but I could hardly let him continue whatever horrible things he was planning in those past minutes and live to tell the tale. I repeated the trail between his eyes and lips until I knew he had noticed and was even more confused by the idea. His glistening metal teeth were showing just above his bottom lip. I could feel his hands weaken the slightest bit – but definitely not enough to get out of his grip. "I'm sorry I asked so many questions… I didn't mean to vex you." I leaned against the cane, making my face just inches from his at this point. I once again looked at his lips as I bit mine, trying my best to be as tempting as possible. "I'm sure I can make it up to …. If you let me."

This time his eyes went to my lips and I could almost sigh in relief at the fact he was catching on, being fooled into what I was suggesting. I could feel his deep breath across my parted lips, I was still terrified. If I didn't keep this up, or if he thought for one moment this was simply to get out of his hold I could be dead. He was so close, if I could just push forward just the tiniest bit I could plant my lips on his and be free. Or at least a step closer to it. He looked as though he was contemplating something, as he quickly scanned over my face – probably to find any trace at there being a trick behind this. Again his grip weakened slightly and with that I swiftly titled up on my tiptoes and leant once again further onto the cane – he was now supporting my weight with it – as I smacked our lips together. I could feel his red makeup spread onto my face even though I tore away just after a second. His signature was now smeared across my own skin.

' _Play it cute_ ' I told myself, recalling how his ex - Harley Quinn – had always appeared to be the devilish yet ditsy blonde. I felt my cheeks naturally redden from what had just happened, I was embarrassed at myself and could only imagine what others would think of me if I told them I had just kissed the most notorious man in Gotham.

The Joker's face was one of shock and surprise, but that swiftly changed as his face was overcome with a menacing grin. He let the cane drop to the floor as he grabbed my chin and yanked me forward, pulling his lips once more onto mine as his other hand entangled itself in my hair. I stood there, hands pressed against his chest trying so hard to not let myself push him away in disgust. His lips were harsh on mine and slowly forced mine open.

Slowly, and not consciously aware of it, I eased into the kiss. My lips softened and were moulded by his, he bit down on my lower lip – _hard._ The metal in his teeth bursting my lip as I yanked back in pain, shoving his body off mine. He burst out laughing, his red lipstick smudged across his face and my blood on his teeth. "Nice try doll face, I knew what you were up to." He cackled as I brought my hands to my lip trying to wipe away the blood which was now smeared across my fingertips. "But not bad… _not bad at all_ " he smirked.

I slid down the wall in a heap, I was free from his grip as he paced the floor in front of me but yet I had this feeling that despite everything I did, he was always one step ahead. "You're sick…" I mumbled from my fragile state on the floor.

He forced a laugh out, "I've been called many things, but why does everyone seem to resort to _that_ first?" He stopped his pacing and stood in front of me, looking down at the mess of a person he had caused. "Bed time I think" he joked as he saw the tears brim in my eyes. He offered a hand, which I refused to take until I saw him get agitated and jolt his hand in front me, a warning that he was not to be rejected.

Reluctantly I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet and yanked my body close to his. With one arm around my waist he took my hand in his and began to dance, pulling me from on step to the next as he gently hummed. The room had grown dark and only the small laps scattered around the room were lit, his face mostly illuminated by the dark sky outside. It was a haunting image, yet one that seemed so dark it was tempting.

He saw the lack of amusement in my eyes and huffed, stopping in his tracks and let me go. "You aren't being any fun _Jessica_ " he emphasised.

I ignored his statement and instead looked down at the ground, weak and on the brink of tears. The lack of reply irritated him as he rose a hand and slapped me across the face. My head yanked to the side from the force as I winced. "Look at me Jessica" he taunted, softening his tone from before. I stayed still.  
"Look at me!" He shouted when I didn't comply.

Finally I looked up, my eyes were bloodshot and my vision blurred from tears as they slowly began to escape and trail down my now raw cheek. Suddenly his actions changed as he bent down to be eye to eye with me, "I'm sorry please don't cry sweet cheeks. C'mon I was just trying to have some fun." he smiled, his apology was skin deep but it was evident he didn't want to lose his play thing just yet. He was trying to motivate me to be more alive, to be willing to stay alive as he commandeered my home. After all he needed me alive to help accomplish his plan. "Give us a smile and you can go sleep peacefully!" he offered, cocking his brow.

Through the pain and tears my red stained, burst lips wavered before finally I managed to pull it into a weak smile. It was all I could muster. He clapped his hands in joy and grinned "See that wasn't so hard was it?! Now as promised" he gestured his hand to my bedroom door. Willingly I obliged and turned and walked towards my room not looking back, just as I went to close it behind me I heard a smug and amused 'goodnight' be called my way.


	7. Drapetomania

The shrill sound of my alarm forced my tired hooded eyes to open. It was nine o'clock and although this would usually mean I would have had a lie in, this time however I was exhausted. Yet as I lay there in bed the scenario that had occurred the night before hadn't struck me. I felt safe, relaxed, as though everything I remembered was just a terrible dream. How could something so surreally awful have actually happened, it surely couldn't have.

I pulled myself out of bed and jumped in the shower. Trying my hardest to shake away the awful dreams from last night and telling myself I was safe. That it was evidently just me in the apartment by the lack of bodies in my room. I took my time getting ready – hair, makeup, clothes, the lot. I felt it a necessity to try and pamper myself in order to destress myself. Why was I so tense?

As I leant towards the mirror in my bathroom, I stared at my parted lips. My bottom lip had a deep gash in it that appeared to be teeth marks – had I bitten myself in my sleep while I dreamt of that dreaded kiss? Just as I went to cover it in lipstick I heard a crash come from the other room followed by begging and sobbing of a grown man. I dropped my lipstick at the sound and just stared straight ahead, my eyes locking with themselves in the mirror. It had truly happened.

I ran towards the living room, I was in disbelief. I had to see it for myself for it to be true. I stood in the door way, there before me was a man on his knees begging for his life. The man himself looked unnatural in that position, as though usually he was the one to be begged. His black hair was tied back as his tanned skin merged with the numerous tattoos that covered his face and body. His shirt was rather distasteful with its silk texture and tiger print. He had numerous bruises and cuts across his face, all of which were fresh. The person he was begging was sat on my couch, legs spread and the famed cane between his legs as he propped his hands on the head of it. He stared at him emotionless as he heard the man sob and plead. It was all real. The Joker looked unamused and bored by the man's explanations – something about failing to get the money to him on time – as he didn't even look at him, his head was focusing on one of his men to the right of him which seemed to be more entertaining to him than a man's plea for life. He hadn't noticed me yet from my position of hiding in the doorway.

"Are you trying to sweet talk me?" The Joker mused, slowly turning his head to the man before him. His eyes flicked slightly to the left, noticing me spectating. "Nice of you to join us."

"Please J, you got ta' understand – I didn't mean no harm to your business. Give me by tomorrow. I'll have the money." The man pleaded once more.

Joker forced a slow and bellowing laugh out as he rose to his feet, circling the man on the floor. He stood behind him and gripped his shoulders, digging his fingers into the man, you could see him wince from the pain. "How about we see what the little lady thinks?" Joker turned his head to me and one of his men pulled me forward. I was now stationed next to the Joker as he grabbed one of my wrists. He turned my palm to the ceiling and placed a gun in it, he curled each individual finger into its position – not giving me the choice but to grip onto it. He aimed the gun in my hand to the man's temple and let go of my hand. "Shoot." Joker instructed.

My hand began to shake at the pressure, I didn't want to kill this man. Did I have a choice? I stared at the man, his eyes staring at me pleading. Tears were brimming. The Joker saw my hesitation and began to laugh manically, "c'mon! Don't try to do the righteous thing, do the _needed_ thing. He's just another murderer; gangster; _thief_ " he snarled "… Shoot him!"

Stared at the man before me and lowered the gun. I shook my head with tears once again at my eyes – will this pain ever end? "No…no I can't." I stuttered, there was no bone in my body able to kill someone.

The joker's haunting laugh filled the air once again as he slowly stepped towards the man and I once more. "Very brave of you" he wiggled his finger at me, "saving this monster of a man."

The man sighed in relief. His head titling to the ground with exhaustion from having begged for his life for goodness knows how long and he had experienced what I could only imagine was an enormous amount of torture.

The Joker watched as his victim became more at ease, he titled his head from side to side slowly with a face filled with anger. His actions resembled an animal spectating its prey, he obviously didn't approve. With one swift movement he pulled his other gun out his holster, "Shame I don't agree with your choice." He grinned as he cocked the gun, aiming at the man's head.

"Please J! Do-" the man's body flopped to the floor before me. I watched as his eyes dulled to emptiness, the blood slowly pooled across my carpet once again staining it further. The gun in my hand slipped between my fingers and fell to the floor. I could hear a murmur in the background – I was being spoken to but everything seemed faded. Soon enough a hand was on my face, squeezing my cheeks painfully. I forced to look him in the face, "You're looking awfully pale sunshine…" he said faking being concerned as he looked over my face. He gritted his teeth, evident through his parted lips, "If I hand you a gun… you better pull the god damn trigger." He snarled. He pushed my face away and stalked towards my study shouting back at his men, "Clear the damn body."

I sat on my couch watching the kafuffle as the goons tried to clear all mess as much as possible. As I checked around the room I was shocked to see very little of it had been damaged – in fact the only thing that had evident damage was my carpet. Soo enough all of the Joker's men had cleared my apartment and the Joker had locked himself in my study. I felt awkward in my own home as I tried to decide what to do. I noticed my mobile remained untouched on the side table. Slowly I began to reach for it, just as I picked it up a gun cocked from behind me, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I turned to look him in the eye, "how did you know?"

He lowered the gun and laid out his hand, wanting my mobile. Reluctantly I gave it to him, "I just did."

I stood to my feet and walked through my room to the balcony, I could feel his eyes watching me. In my bare feet I stood on the wet cold metal floor, the whole city was grey today as the rain poured from the sky. I stared out at the city before me, I felt secluded, alone, trapped in my own home, my own body, my own head. The experiences of the past day had affected me more than I realised, I felt numb inside. For once my eyes had been opened to just how cruel the world could be – these weren't just stories I wrote about for work, this was real. I slipped my feet into the first rail of the railing and leant on it. What I would do to go out, to pretend life was normal again if even just for a while. The rain that trailed down my face and the wind that swept through my hair began to make me feel the tiniest bit more human once again.

"You're quiet today." I knew it wouldn't be long before he joined me, after all with none of his men here to keep an eye on me I suppose the responsibility fell upon him.

"I want to leave." I kept my eyes looking ahead of me, I couldn't look him in the face.

"Leave?" He cautioned, slowly coming closer, probably fearing I would fling myself over the railings.

When he was stood beside me, his arms crossed behind his back, I stood off of the rails and turned to face him. "I want to feel human again. Please just let me out if only for a few hours. Back to the real world." I begged, trying to make him understand I'd return if he let me just have this one thing.

He watched me from the corner of his eye, before clenching his jaw and humming to himself as he thought. "Ah…" he sighed after a few moments, keeping his metal teeth on show, "not alone…God knows what'll come out that sweet little mouth of yours."

"I won't say a word, have me followed, anything. I just want to live a normal life. I didn't ask for any of this." I bargained.

"It's a date." He turned and grinned at me, his eyes dancing with excitement at whatever plans he had imagined. With that he swiftly left me alone on the balcony. I turned once more to view the city, what had he planned… what had I let myself in for?


	8. I Can't Forget, But I Can Pretend

The rest of the day passed swiftly, I was left to my own devices although I knew if I even attempted to do one thing out of line he would appear. I felt like a grounded child. I could hear my phone go off from time to time from inside the study, but I wouldn't dare ask for it back to check who was attempting to contact me.

He stayed inside the study most of the time, only coming out to order his people about from time to time and eventually he left for the night to go to his nightclub. A question still flooded my head, why did he need my apartment? Surely a man like him could buy many, or even take over anyone else's home and leave the people for dead. But instead he chose to baby sit and torment me. It didn't make sense. I then remembered what he has said about the Batman, that he had warned Joker not to go near me, not to get me involved – or any other innocent for that matter. Why would the Joker risk being caught? Why hadn't the batman checked he was here?  
The bat signal for once didn't shine in the sky, he no doubt had other matters to attend to.

I lazed about in the living room watching television, one of the men – who was sat at the dining table behind me – received a phone call to which he responded with only one word answers. Soon enough he grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV. Just as he did so there was a knock at the door and the man was handed plain black boxes. The man brought all the bags through to my bedroom, I attentively followed questioning why he was going in there. He lay the bags onto my bed, ignoring my persistent comments – I was never a fan of his people going into my bedroom. "Get dressed." The man muttered, as he turned to walk back out the room closing the door behind him.

I stood there confused, looking at the boxes before me. I began to pull out the items inside them and to my surprise I found gorgeous designer clothing – it was easy to say the joker hadn't chosen these out himself. Thankfully the clothes fit, hugging each of my curves or if I dare say – emphasising them. I was now clad in a dark red dress with a studded leather clutch and ridiculously high stilettos, each of which had a small J sewn into them. A trademark I assumed as I rolled my eyes at the cockiness – he was claiming me.

I walked back into the living room where the man was waiting on me, twiddling a knife between his hands as he waited. He shoved it into his jacket pocket and rose to his feet as I entered, walking straight to the door and holding it open for me.

"Where are we going?" I questioned as I was led to a sleek sports car parked outside and was ushered into the passenger seat.

"Out" Was the only response I got.

I knew where we were as soon as we arrived, the music was blaring even from the outside and the bouncers were checking everyone as they entered through the door. I had promised myself never to return, and now I didn't have a choice all because I had wanted to escape. I was ushered through the front door, the bouncers moving everyone to the side as I entered following the suited man before me. I ended up in the same VIP area as before, however this time I was sat at the back row of booths, the one next to the stairs was taken up by Joker – who had stared at me the entire time I walked past with a sadistic smile on his lips – and a few other serious looking men. A drink arrived at my table as I sat waiting on my next call of movement. I sipped away at my drink as I watched their conversation from afar, constant refills coming my way.

One by one the men fled from his booth apart from one who rose with the Joker and began to walk my way. He was young, still the glimpse of innocence in his eyes that no other of the Joker's colleagues appeared to have. "My darling" the Joker's shrill voice filled my ears once more and any peace I had begun to feel vanished. "I ask of you to look after this _fine_ young man while I take care of some… pests." He gripped onto the man and forcefully sat him down in the booth in front of me, slapping the man's shoulder in pretend comfort. He leaned over the man before me and snarled, "You… Behave." He glared looking between the man and I, before suddenly his face turned to one of fun and joy, "wouldn't want a pretty little thing like you getting hurt." Swiftly he turned and left.

I rolled my eyes at his statements, before continuing to have my drink.

"I'm Shiv" the man before me held out his hand. I could help but laugh at his name as I took his hand.

"Unfortunate with the name…" I replied.

"It's my alias, no one here really shares their real name for 'security reasons' I suppose you would say." He explained.

We began to have the usual small talk and I began to warm to Shiv. I noticed that whenever he felt awkward or on the spot he would rustle his wavy blonde hair, another sign that this guy was not as tainted by life as the rest of the men here. "So you not dancing?" He asked as he caught me looking out onto the dancefloor, wishing I could be on it myself.

"I sincerely doubt J would let me… He'd think I'd run off or something."

"Well would you?" Shiv questioned, a smile playing at his lips as he cocked an eyebrow.

I couldn't help but laugh, "If I had the chance? Yes. Yes I'd run far…far from here. But I know that's not possible, especially not in his own club."

He seemed surprised, "I suppose J. is rather protective of what he calls his and that currently includes you. But I have no doubt he would let you dance, if you asked _politely_ " I knew what he was hinting at. I would have to bargain myself in order to persuade the Joker for a little freedom.

I rose from my seat and turned to one of the suited men next to our table who had been watching over us the entire time. "I want to speak with J" I demanded.

The man became awkward and I could see from the corner of my eye as Shiv rose his eye brows in support of my statement. Slowly the man began to walk towards the back of the VIP section and I was led into another room where a bloodied man sat tied to the chair, the Joker's back to me. In his purple gloved hand he held a bloodied knife. The man who had escorted me stood to the side and cleared his throat, signifying we had entered.

"What?!" The Joker shouted not turning his gaze from the almost dead man who sat before him.

I breathed in and swallowed my fears as I walked to the joker, slowly wrapping my arms around him. I allowed my hands to roam as they spread over his stomach, the warmth of his body radiating onto the front of mine. I lay my head on his shoulder, the smell of blood mixed with a slight hint of aftershave radiated from his shirt. "I want to dance…" I whispered seductively – my stomach turning in disgust.

The Joker sighed and groaned quietly, tilting his head back as my hands finally found stopped moving, one now across his chest and the other around his waist. "Can't you see I'm rather busy?" He muttered. He reached to the left and grabbed a blood stained cloth. He began to turn around, my arms slipping off his body as he did so. "Are you behaving?" he asked wiping his knife clean.

"Yes of course. And I don't think I've had the chance to thank you for letting me get out my apartment. Thank you J." I was sucking up to him the best I could, maybe if I got onto the dancefloor it could be my escape.

"Of course" he grinned tilting his head. He waved his hand at the man who had brought me in here and I was soon escorted out the room, just as the screams of the man in the chair began.

I was ushered onto the dancefloor and put into one of the glass boxes that usually had beautiful professional dancers inside, just before the door close I objected.

"It's all he'd allow ma'am. Sorry" the man looked truly apologetic. Soon the glass door was closed around me and the eyes of those on the dancefloor were staring as I pushed against the glass trying to find any way out. I could see the door in the distance through the swaying bodies of drunks. The music thumbed in my ears and I looked around, Shiv was now on the dancefloor watching me panic. His face filled with concern as he beckoned me through actions to dance, I could see him mouth 'do it'.

I had always hated being put on the spot, I didn't enjoy being centre of attention either yet I felt this was the only way of acceptance. If I was ever to escape the Joker I would have to make him trust me first. If he could ever trust that is.

I began to sway to the music and soon I was dancing as boldly as I could, trying to get as much attention as I could get. I curled my fingers insinuating for certain men to come closer – though every corner of my box was surrounded with the Jokers men. I would tease them from inside the glass - I was untouchable.

The crowd began to part and from a distance I could see the distinguishable green hair begin to walk through the dancefloor, his eyes fixated on me as I danced. He was followed by his right hand man who made sure no one got too close. Everyone on the dancefloor tried to ignore the presence of the Joker and I fixed my eyes on my capture. I smiled at him cheekily as I began to dance suggestively not allowing eye contact to break. He walked around my glass box like a predator. His silver metal teeth shone in the different lights as his skin was illuminated an even more inhumanly white. Under this light he almost looked glowing. I hated myself for thinking it but he almost looked appealing under such light.

Soon enough his hands thumped on the glass, making me jump as he smirked at me. The only response I could give without displeasing him was to laugh, bending down to his height and blowing a kiss before I turned and continued dancing.


	9. Be Brave Little Rabbit Take A Chance

He remained on the dancefloor, spectating my every move as I continued to dance - feeling under more pressure by the second as I felt his cold eyes lingering on my body. I felt exposed. He didn't dance, and he hardly moved. The other people on the dancefloor attempted to ignore his dominating presence as they continued their night, doing anything to not to get in his way. I would turn his way frequently, making sure I was providing one hell of aan _experience(_ performance?)to for the man that who would overall ultimately determine my worth of living. Every time I turned away from him I could swear I would hear him growl. The rest of his men were now nowhere to be seen bar Shiv who sat at the bar looking solemnly at his drink. As I turned once more to where the Joker was, going to continue taunting him to join me in the box, he was nowhere to be seen.

The glass door was pulled open and I was helped out of the box, I once again ended up in the familiar surroundings at of the back of club. The Joker sat with his legs spread, taking up most of that half of the booth dominantly and he opened his arms wide as he saw me enter, a grin embedded into his skin.

"Well what do we have here? A new found dancer I believe… finally found your our fieriness again did we?" he joked, cocking an eyebrow. He kept his arms opened as I neared, obviously hinting for me to take a pew upon his lap. The idea made my stomach churn in revolt. As I went to reject his vile offer I noticed as his brows raised -, one slightly higher than the other - questioning my moves, questioning whether I would really _want_ to make such a choice. Would I be so daring as to go against his motives?

I felt the intoxicating alcohol flood through my veins as my sight was slanted and brain in a less sophisticated and dedicated place. I found myself instead of sliding into the seat that I stood beside instead sitting gently down on his lap, wrapping my arm around the back of his neck for balance. His hand slithered around my waist, making the side of my body press to his as his face was mere inches from mine and he looked at me like a delicatessen. Every nerve in my body urged for me to move and yet I remained seated staring into his death ridden eyes, whether it was from alcohol or from mere bad choices judgement I couldn't say.

"The true entertainment to the king of crime you are…" he growled at me, his eyes with a predatory insinuation within them. "You know what they call entertainers of the kings? Jesters…. Jessica the Jester…" (could he hiss the 'S'?)He murmured,every 's' in his words hissing through his metal teeth. h His mouth was now next to my ear making the conversation even more private, there was no chance for his workers to hear. He bellowed a laugh as he saw my face waver in concern. The thought that I was just used for his entertainment couldn't help but sweep across my thoughts, would he be rid of me as soon as the excitement around me died down? As soon as he was fed up of his toy he would 'dispose' of me in an inhumanely way just like the rest of the people he had tortured. After all he had insisted to me many times that I was not special.

I had to keep telling myself that I was being nice to him for the chance of trust, at the chance that I might be able to escape his grotesque grips if he believed I would actually stay for him. _Him_ _He_ who had barricaded me within my own home, shown me the true horrors of the world, made me debate whether life was even worth the fight. The one man whom trusting was never a concept to ever cross anyone's mind, and I strongly believed should never happen. I stayed in my spot on his lap, trying my hardest not to show any sign of concern or abhorrence towards the foul man that was before me.

"I can be your Jester, J. If you ensure that you truly want to be entertained by me. I've never been a half in, half out sort of girl." I teased, my forehead aligning with his, I couldn't help but imagine his 'damaged' tattoo imprinting across my skin after all that he had exposed me to.

He let out a cackle as his hand covered my mouth, once more making it as though the tattoo on the back of his hand was my grinning devious smile. "Oh cupcake! No need to worry…" His voice was low, menacing, in a sense that I knew something off the books was running through his head. I could only begin to imagine the appalling ideas he was thinking as he smirked at me. "I'm not gonna hurt you." He added.

I grinned at him and he yanked my brown hair, pulling his stained vulgar lips to mine. He was forceful, obviously believing that I had changed in my ways and was soon to be as tightly wound around his little finger as Harley had been. For the sake of my dignity I will base this next part on the amount of alcohol I had consumed. I found myself slowly sinking into the kiss, my lips tingling from the sensation of his as the aroma of blood, alcohol, and aftershave filled my nostrils. My fingers entwined in his hair as I pulled myself closer to him and slowly my legs were on either side of his, I was now straddling the monster that tormented every soul in this city. .( could you say I turned around so as to face him ie straddling or is she sub?)

The same matter of occurrence continued for a few days, I would either be joined by him in my apartment or by his men during the day – I would be hit. I would scream. And then I would bow down to the man who dictated my life in fear that I may never get out. At night I would be brought in yet again another enticing self-branded outfit and be made to dance, to tease the men around me. He saw this as a challenge to the men he worked with about whether or not they were obedient enough to keep their eyes to themselves. Shiv and I began to grow close as he looked after me, everyday his face distraught at the bruises that scattered my body. Every night I would obediently walk from my glass box to the VIP area whenever instructed and soon enough the Joker began to trust me.

There is no ounce within me that can deny the enjoyment I felt when seeming someone be so protective over me – though I entirely was against the idea of someone dying for looking at me. But I felt something turn inside me that was terrifying, the enjoyment shouldn't be felt. The thrill at a gunshot shouldn't occur. And every time it happened – at least once a night – I would fall back into my position by the Joker's side and relish in the only humane experience I could now get – by being close and kissing this madman. But hoping there was an inch of humanity left within that twisted mind of his.  
I had become numb to the pain these people were going through right before my eyes and instead felt honoured by the protection I had gained from a man feared by all.

My king of my own crime. I had lead those men into their own deaths after all.

I would argue with myself every night as I lay in bed, obligated to keep my door having to stay open in order for the men to know witness that I wasn't on the phone and I would havethere would be hourly checks by someone – regardless of the time. It was only when I was alone would the pain I had caused come rushing to me and fill me with guilt. I was no better than them, I had to get out sooner rather than later.

I had just returned from the club for about an hour or so and was sent to get ready for bed. I was alone and began to doubt whether toying with the Joker's emotions was truly a good idea. How had I become such a vile associate to the Joker?

As I mulled in my misery I sat upon my bed, trying to find any way to redeem myself. To convince myself that I wasn't in too deep and the normal life I had led beforehand was still the life I intended and longed to resumelive for. It was then I was suddenly struck by the fact this was my chance to finally contact someone for help. I was to be left alone for a few moments while I changed – the first time this had happened without the door having to be open.

I rushed to the phone beside my bed and to as was my luck, the phone wires had been cut while I was out. Someone had obviously attempted to contact me too many times and aggravated getting on the nerves of the men who had stayed behind to 'keep watch'. I rummaged through my drawers for anything that could helpof help – an old mobile maybe? A pen and paper to send onto the balcony below me? But instead all I found was a torch and a piece of black coloured card obviously discarded from old packaging.

I was trapped in despair staring at the few items before me. Was I truly to be trapped in this wretched life until I ceased to exist?

Suddenly Aan idea suddnenly struck me. I ran to my bathroom grabbing my nail scissors and began to cut away at the card. Using body tape to tape down the black card over the light I ran for my balcony and aimed the torch into the night sky. I flicked the switch and saw my wonky crooked make-shift bat signal shine in the sky. However the rushed home-made version of this would only show desperation.

My hands shook as I stood there, aiming it as high as I could against a building in order for someone to see it, hopefully perhaps that someone would beeven the bat himself. Yet I could only hold it in the air for a few minutes before my door swung open and the Joker marched in surrounded by his men holding guns. He walked up behind me and began to tug the light out of my hand as I screamed. Tears had now began to spill from my heartbroken eyes as I felt my last chance of freedom be pried from pried from my grip.


	10. Debate with Dogma

He threw the torch off the balcony as I crumbled to the floor crying and screaming at him, begging him, explaining that I just couldn't do it anymore. I was broken. He stared down at me before slamming his hand across my cheek, not the tiniest bit of pity entering his eyes as he grinned.

"Oh darling… the things I had planned for us and this is how you repay me?" He grabbed me up from my kneeled position. "I had hoped for a lot more. I suppose my plan will just have to start a lot quicker than I had anticipated." Without time to react he winded me by hitting my stomach with a short yet strong punch. I cried out in pain as his horrid laughter filled the air.

Trying to gasp for air from the winding, my body was weak and I found myself being dragged to the roof of my building kicking and screaming, begging him for forgiveness. I was flung to the concrete floor and his men retreated back inside. I was on all fours before him, shaking with trepidation as I tilted my head up to gaze at him. The devil in the pale moonlight.

"Jessica the Jester" He enthused as though addressing an entire audience upon this rooftop. "I suppose you may have cracked a bit sooner than I had expected! But that's alright dear, don't fret" he bent down his warm fingers on my chin as he forced me to look him in the eye.

"Please don't kill me. I-I can explain." I sobbed. But how would I explain without almost taunting him into extirpating me then and there with a mere shot of a gun.

"Oh dolly, dolly, doll. There's no need to explain!" He hooted with laughter, though his anger still evident. "I know exactly why you did it. In fact I had planned for you to do it, just not now. Not yet… Just another bump in the road" He enthused, his voice emphasising words in an excited manner. He almost sounded impressed that I had done such a thing.

I found myself to my feet, my limps aching suddenly from the amount of abuse I had received over the past week or so. "What do you mean?" I questioned my voice stern yet shaking. My legs trembled beneath my weight, my stomach ached where I had been hit.

"Oh like I said, you aren't special doll face! Your positioning smack bang in the centre of the city is exactly what I needed for this event. You were the easy choice that had exactly what I needed." He once again began to parade around the roof top, glancing down at the road far below.

I walked over to him, this was my only chance to beg him for forgiveness. Goodness knows what he had planned for me.

"The world is a cruel place" he murmured before turning excitedly to me, "that's why you have to be crueller! Surely you've noticed those that cause the damage, don't get _as_ damaged."

"So I've realised." I grumbled my response, would it be easier just to break? Laugh at societies morals? I could feel my mental stability snapping off bit by bit, crumbling and breaking down with every action I choose. And yet some part of me wanted to fight, to beg for the rest of my life. "I don't want to die…" I whispered partially a reassurance to myself as I gazed down off the edge of the building.

He turned towards me, "You're going to have to realise one day who you _really_ are. The things you can achieve. And yet you refuse to bow down, to break down your tiny little ideas that you have which make the world seem so…so bright!" his fingers spread as his hands flailed just beside my head, making me doubt the ideas I had of the life I was living.

There was the man that was feared by so many, and a vision of hope to none and yet he offered me the chance of seeing the world through his light. As he stood there in the darkness, his body only lit by the surrounding lights on other buildings my mind was fogged. This man killed and sat upon a mountain of sin. His palms were drenched with the blood of men, women, and children and yet not an ounce of fear would cross his ultimately tranquil face that was continuously plastered with a smile. Nothing would seem to make this man be finished, regardless of how much the world feared him. Something had broken this man so badly that he refused to see the future in another light, his yesterdays had haunted any tomorrows he had once hoped for as a child.

One of his men came back through the doors and stood beside it, waiting on the Joker.

"I know how to tell if you're ready. If you're all I hoped." He slid one gun out of his holster and placed it in my hand. "Shoot him." His voice was cold blooded, not an ounce of doubt lingered.

I stared at the cold metal object in my hand, pulling back the pin. It was now loaded. I raised my arm, yet not at the man but at the Joker before me. He laughed taunting me over and over again to do it. Playing mind games as he begged me to shoot. My hand began to waver and he knew something within me would never allow me to shoot him. He raised his hand and pointed to the man, his eyes fixed on mine as they seeped into my soul.

I turned and aimed, my breathing rapid in fear. I remembered what he had said the first time he had handed over a gun – 'if I hand you a gun, you better pull the god damn trigger.'

A shot rang out. The man's body fell limp to the floor as blood smeared on to the wall behind him. I cried out in horror, my ears ringing with the shot that had echoed through the air. How could I have allowed myself to do that? The gun slipped form my fingers as I stared at the lifeless body. The Joker stood beside me and grinned in triumph. He gripped my arms and turned me to face him.

"Oh shhh…shhh Jessica! It's all part of the fun. He was nobody don't worry! I'll even take the blame for you doll." He winked trying his best to smother his laughter in an attempt to stop my terror. "But there's hope for you yet – but first I must ask you, will you kill to save your life? Would you kill if you had a point to put across? To rid yourself and your city of all that disagrees with you." His voice was enticing, leaving me hanging on every word in my fragile state of mind. His eyes held such melancholy passion that begged for me to stand by his side and help him complete his demented version of purifying this city. To rule this city.

A fire inside brewed, a burning to escape the life I had previously had and forget about the past lies I led. And yet I had spent so many nights, begging for the opposite. Who was I? I was no longer the same me that lived such a normal and bland life. Instead this man before me tormented and tortured me for my lack of sins. The good that once controlled my body still fought for control, my mind split in two as I felt myself bit by bit lose even more sanity to my situation.

"Yes." I whispered, fooled by his gleaming blue eyes. Still as cold and as crystal as ever. They were beautiful.

His hands gripped either side of my face as he pulled my lips to his once more. The wind pushing onto our already cold skin, chilling me to the bone as I stood with my hands on his waist allowing the devil to kiss me. As our mouths played with one another I was no longer tormented by disgust, no longer flooded with guilt at my actions. I had no more reason to explain myself. I was broken.

As he pulled back and my eyes slid open, I noticed his eyes glance behind me and yet thought nothing of it. A cocky smile twisted upon his lipstick smothered face. "Looks like our rides here."

Just as he spoke a helicopter hovered by my building by the furthest away edge. He drew a large breath and took my hands off his waist, holding them in his. As he shouted and laughed over the noise of the helicopter he slowly began to reach for my shoulders, "I sincerely hope that what I'm about to do doesn't kill you, my little Jester." And he pushed.

I fell from the side of the building, my lungs filling with air to support my screams as the wind whirled around me. I could see my reflection in my buildings windows as I began to plummet down the side of it. Just as I was accepting my fate, there was numerous blasts and I watched as my building exploded in flames.


	11. In Order To Live, First You Must Die

The smoke bellowed as I fell, closer and closer to the concrete below yet before I could hit it I was swooped into the arms of something else, someone else. The caped crusader had come to my rescue. A damsel in distress.

I was placed on the ground safely, my heart rattling inside of my chest as all my bones felt like jelly after the plummeting. He held me upright until I was stable, I could see him glance numerous times towards my building, concerned at the number of people trapped inside as the fire brigade, ambulances, and police cars began to swarm. "Stay here." His altered voice murmured sternly, and with that he was gone as paramedics brought me to a nearby ambulance.

I was questioned for hours as they tended to my bruises and swollen cheek. The police had questioned me continuously about what had happened, how did I end up on the roof? Why or how did I fall off? Why do I have such bruises, some of which were days old.

I lied.

Still to this day I don't know why I lied so much to them, they wouldn't have judged me for being trapped in my horrid positon and quite frankly I put myself more at risk for lying, anyone could step up and say they had seen me every night in his club, tending to his needs and dancing before everyone. They sympathised and understood, too scared to question me further as they knew exactly who was behind this. None of them wanted to know what the Joker wanted with me, in addition they would be too scared due to some of their colleagues no doubt working with the Joker himself. His inside men.

After hours of interrogation and watching people be evacuated from the building I was free to go. I was incapable of giving them any contact details, so I knew any follow up questions would be very difficult to achieve. I stood on the same corner I had been set down on, abiding the bat's demands for I knew if I tried to deny him of his time of questioning he would still hunt me down. He was less corrupt in his violent vigilante ways than the police.

I sunk to the floor and sat upon a door step as the scarce passer-by's gazed at now dilapidated building that had no doubt been broadcasted across the city. From the number of other service cars that fled through the city in all directions it was clear other buildings had received the same treatment. My thoughts were vague, sleep deprivation haunting my eyelids as I felt my vision begging to stoop to blackness. Yet I fought for my consciousness and instead I slowly began to consider everything that had just happened, the amount of emotions that swept over my body in one swift shudder was indescribable. A rainbow of happiness and sadness, guilt and pleasure, indescribable terror and untameable excitement. But why had I been pushed?

'I sincerely hope that what I'm about to do doesn't kill you, my little Jester' he had said before pushing me. He had repeated so often he didn't want me dead, so surely such an act wasn't without precise planning? When he glanced behind me he must have noticed the bats quickening approach. I would have been dead if this was not the case. Within me I could feel an ounce of betrayal at the fact he had risked my life, yet why should I expect any less from the King of Crime himself.

Fury raged within me and I felt the need to hit something. Dear god what was happening to me? I had never been known to be a violent person. I huffed myself to feet and thought about how ludicrously protective he had been, revolution was back and yet a small part of me longed for another chance at the humane contact which seemed ever more complimentary when it came from a monster. Soon the batman was back.

"You saw my signal?"

"Yes. Now what happened? How did he end up there?" Soot covered his armour and he was obviously warn out from the events of tonight.

I huffed a laugh at his response, the first natural laugh I'd had in days. "I didn't have a choice in the matter. One minute I was alone, the next he was there. Watching my every move. Then I call to you for help, I get pushed off the building, and the building goes up in flames. That's all I know. Do you really think the Joker would let anyone else know his plans? His real thought out plans? Especially not some random person he doesn't know. I was a toy to him." He didn't need to know the details. In all honesty nothing more that I knew could help him.

"Thank you. Go someplace safe. Hide from him." Once more I was left in the middle of the street.

I dragged myself along the street lit pavements towards Jane's house. I had no doubt she had tried to contact me numerous times over the past week and probably more so going frantic now with my building being televised across every Gotham channel. For all I knew, pictures of me falling down included. Finally my tired feet could stop trudging their way through the streets as I stood before her door, slamming on the buzzer continuously. I felt wretched. I was so stressed and tired I could cry. And most of all I was confused.

Soon her face appeared at the door after hearing me mutter through the telecom and she flung herself around me almost crying with relief. I crumbled in her arms and sobbed into her before being ushered into her warm and safe flat. It was the first time I had felt truly relaxed in so long.

Jane had run about the apartment, grabbing me new clothes and running me a bath. She didn't question, just comforted with slight utterings of "are you alright?" "You aren't hurt?", she was always so motherly in her ways.

I was perched upon one of her seats as I sat upright in the pj's I had been given.

"Jessica, please relax." She begged, staring at my frigid frame that I hadn't realised I held. I suppose it had become second nature to be as stationary as possible in every act I committed, too scared to receive another hit or punch by one of his men for being too annoying, or for doing something that could cross the line of what I was and was not allowed to do. I hadn't acknowledged the true depths of just how dreadful the situation I had been in was until I was out of it, if I had I probably wouldn't have been able to cope with it as well as I did in fairness.

I stared into the mug I held in my hands, the warm tea rippled with where the teaspoon had just been removed. I sunk into the seat gently, cautious at every move I made. Suddenly I burst, I flooded with tears and my voice croaked unintelligible words to Jane as she suddenly sprung from her seat in panic, rushing over to kneel before me and moving the tea away from my hands.

"What's wrong? Jessica please, what's wrong?"

"I – I killed someone. _Jane_ I killed someone!" I stressed her name, begging for some form of forgiveness to make the guilt go away. Her arms flung around my neck as she nestled me into her body. She hushed my panic quickly, telling me sweet nothings of how it would be alright, about how it wasn't my fault. And yet I knew it was, I knew that something had clicked within me that made me no longer flinch in horror at gunshots but instead I would fill with thrill. I had changed. The Jessica Lane that she knew was dead.

I told a version of the story to Jane, not bringing myself to be able to say some things I had willingly done, or more so that I had enjoyed. I couldn't allow anyone to think that the torment and torture I went through actually had points – though few – that I had enjoyed. That night I crawled into Jane's spare room bed, Jane trying her best at comforting me as she continuously reassured me that nothing would get harm me here, that it was just her and I against the world. Little did she know however that the pain I felt soon escaped my body and instead an emptiness swallowed my soul. The exhaustion was dragging my body further into the mattress, making every limb weigh a tonne if I tried to move it and yet as I lay in the dark room I felt as though something was missing. As though I had lost something dear to me. I feared the excitement I had in my life – though terrifying and at times agonizing in the treatment I received from his men – was gone. I couldn't go back to the way I used to live.


	12. I Am Oxygen, He's Dying To Breathe

_A/n: I want to apologise if chapters aren't being uploaded as quickly as they used to be, I am currently on holiday so they might be slow or scarce but things will return to normal soon. Also thank you so much for the support, its truly wonderful to have._

Jane allowed me to stay for as long as I needed to get a new place, and to get my head together. Work was overly understanding, assuring me that a return was not essential until I was absolutely sure I would be better. Yet I knew every reporter was dying to question the innocent girl that stared the Joker in the face and lived to tell about it.

However trying to adapt to once again have the tedious life of an indoctrinated civilian trapped within social constructs. Every single person I glanced that that strived so terribly hard to be normal was under achieving in all their skills. Refraining from what they truly wished to seek, the identities they truly wanted throughout their lives. And for what purpose? The mere joy you get from being accepted by other brainwashed sheep?  
I would go about my life as 'normal' as possible, though inside me there was a numbness, a void that lulled me to be consumed by darkness. I fought as hard as I could to not delve to those depths, but it was a fight I think Jane could even see I was struggling with. Of course she put it down to the fact that I had been traumatised by my experiences and had such anxieties and fears of the world I had never had before. Little did she know it was because I adored the control and excitement I had felt run through my veins in those 'terrifying' times. As much as I had wanted out of it at the time now I wished to experience it, but with more control.

How had a sudden hatred to the status-quo come about? Every tiny thing about society was beginning to irritate me and I was beginning to feel more imprisoned in my life than I had when it was bit by bit being controlled by a monster. A monster which was my enlightener. The one to bring me to the epiphany.

I prepared my dinner and sat down at the table, Jane was still at work and she had planned to go on a night out straight afterwards meaning I would be alone for the night. Finally. She had begged for me to join her, concerned at the idea of me being alone, yet little did she know truly I wanted to be alone finally. It had been weeks since I was actually able to have any proper alone time apart from when I went to sleep. As I sat down I couldn't help but think I could have the chance to find him once again. But what would I say? A part of me would want to scream and hit him for pushing me off that goddamned building, leaving me for dead. Would he kill me on the spot for even returning him? I could be seen as a loose end to him. Or would he take me back, hopeful for my return, needing his toy back for entertainment. I felt my cheeks blush, though the tiniest part of me still fought for me to be repulsed.

I decided to leave the flat, we were out of certain foods so I aimed to travel to the nearest shop. As I walked down the down the dark streets of Gotham once more heading back to the apartment, I clung the bag of groceries closer to my body, helping to keep my jacket shut and body protected from the chilling weather. As much as violence was now a thrill to me, I knew my odds at taking down strange dangerous men in alley ways was not in my favour. And I most certainly didn't have a death wish.

I kept my eyes forwards as I picked up my pace, the fear of someone grabbing me driving me through the biting wind. Inside my jacket pocket I clutched onto my key as though it were a knife. The only thing I had to defend myself from anyone. I knew the apartment was just a couple of blocks down the street, it would only be about a couple minutes left. I gazed to the sky and saw the bat symbol shining in the sky. I should be safe. If there wasn't worse things to attend to.

Just as that moment arms grabbed at me from behind. I struggled with them and turned to face them – clad in ripped dirty clothes, obviously looking for money or anything precious they could steal from me. Trying their chances. The man continued to grab at me, trying to retrain my arms as I, with full force, smacked my key into his forearm which was gripped on my left shoulder. Blood began to ooze as he screamed out in pain, entirely letting me go as he clung to the wound. I stepped away from him and calmed myself in the situation.

"You bitch!" the man screamed at me, spit flying everywhere in his anger.

"Sir, I don't want to hurt you but please just walk away and we can pretend like nothing happ-" a gun shot rang and I felt my ears ring. The man before me collapsed to the floor suddenly.

I stared at the lifeless body, shocked that this happened in the middle of the city with any passer-by's that may appear to see him. The horror that would usually flood my body was no longer there, even though I felt the tiniest bit of pity to the now dead man.

"He wouldn't have let it go. He wouldn't risk the chance that you might tell someone." The familiar voice called out behind me.

I turned slowly and saw Shiv began to place his gone back in his holster. He had numerous bruises covering his neck as he was clad in a black suit with a black shirt. His hair was shortly cut and the brightness that was once gleaming in his eyes was slowly fading. What had he been inflicted too in the short time I was gone?

"What are you doing here?" I asked slowly walking towards him.

"I was sent to look after you from afar."

"Why are you so bruised?!" I asked, my eyes scanning all the blue and purple splodges that scattered his skin.

He cleared his throat, his eyes glancing away from me. "I do one thing wrong, I gotta learn… So they say. But then again you know what that's like." His teeth were gritted.

"Was it J?!" I was shocked, J was often so fond of Shiv, even though he gave him very little work. Shiv had always been used more as a hitman.

"No. But his other men are obviously in control of certain parts of the plan, they'll get away with whatever they can. But I'm fine and we need to go." He grabbed my arm and began to lead me away.

It didn't take me long to realise I had no idea where I was going. I called Shiv out on this and all he responded was, "He needs you back."

"Needs? Needs me for what?" I asked trying to keep up with Shiv's quick paces as his arm gripped my coat.

"He just does."

And with that I was soon shoved into a black car.


	13. Do or Die

"I shouldn't just be summoned like this, Shiv. You detested how his men abused me and now you're just going to hand straight back into their hands?" I followed Shiv out of the car and his hand was placed onto the small of my back, pushing me towards the door of the club.

"Jessica, I think you know I don't have a choice. You've seen what happens whenever someone crosses him. He has no time for wasters." His voice was cold, void of emotion as his eyes fixed on the bodies before him which he swerved us in and out of. A few people stared at me, either recognising me from my time here or from the footage of me falling. Or much to my dread, possibly both. I fixated my sight on the ground before me, not daring to look up and face the humiliation that would befall me. _The girl that came running back_. Jeez, was I truly becoming as bad as Harley Quinn? The amount of comments I had made on that girl and how she needed a backbone… My image of her was obviously a lie. She had a backbone, but she was intoxicated by the drug of danger that excelled from the Joker. She choose, fine and well, to go with a man that used and abused her simply because it was fun. And here I was, doing the exact same.

I was pushed before a group of men, all standing chatting away, they parted and there before me the ghostly looking man stood. His arms opened and his smile curled upon his lips, his teeth once more glinting in the light. I felt inclined to crawl up next to him as I had so many times before in this very section in the club.

"Well looky here _gentlemen_. The one, the only jester in my life has returned!" His eyes fixated on me, scanning my skin visually seeing that I was finally once more without any damage. My skin was no longer speckled with purple and blue, there were no tired bags under my eyes. And yet, instead of innocence flickering consistently in my eyes all that was clear was the fight. The fight between the two temptations. "Well, come to daddy." He taunted.

Slowly I stepped forward, Shiv stood rigid behind me and I could hear his heavy breathing. He was tormented by his inner demons, what he wanted to do and what he had to do. I stood before him, just inches apart as he tilted his head down to stare at my petite stature.  
"No hard feelings, dollface." He smirked, dreadfully smug with his actions as he taunted me. Not a care in the world that my life was at risk, instead just pleased that I just so happened not to die.

Without thinking about it my hand rose and I my smacked across his face. His head jolted to the left his eyes turning dark, his jaw clenching, teeth grinding as he rotated his neck before finally snapping his face back to mine. There was no smile. His hand shot around my neck and collapsed down tightly, air barely striving to get through my air ways as his fist slowly squeezed and a grin, with clenched teeth, began to spread across his face. I began to struggle, tugging at his hand as my warm brown eyes filled with fear, my vision was pulsing with my heart, terrified that it would slowly all go to black. He leaned his face closer, the smell of his aftershave filling whatever breaths I could muster.

"I suppose I deserved that…But I wouldn't suggest you do it again." He growled.

With that he let go of my neck as I gasped for air, my hands immediately rising to where his hand had clamped down. And within that same split second he smiled brightly, his overwhelming presence once again captivating everyone as joy exuded from him.

"My charming men. I'm sure you know that you have work to do, don't you! I suggest you chop chop and do it before I snap one of your cheeky little necks!" His laughter boomed, the usual mellowed noise of the music drowned out. The men began to scatter and his attention was devout on me as he gently laid an arm across me, his hand curling and twisting the fabric on my shoulder. His familiar warmth spreading through every point of contact he had with me and I felt more human than I had since being rescued. All I could crave was contact.

"I'm shocked you came to get me back, J." I said, once again on my best behaviour as I adjusted my tone to flirtatious, the tone he had become accustomed to hearing from me.

"Oh don't say that! I never lost you in the first place, it was all part of the plan." He grinned walking with me.

"So I'm just to trust your plans, even if I might die?"

We came to a stop and he turned to face me, his hands sliding to the sides of my arms as he smacked them playfully, thinking of his response. He titled his head back and smiled upwards towards the tinted lights.

"You have to trust little old me. It might be the only thing to prevent you from dying. But take this as a warning, you back out on me, you mistrust me and try to escape…" He forced a laugh and tilted his head back down, leaning his face just inches from mine. "I will _always_ get you back."

I slowly nodded, I could help but allow a small smile to play on my lips. I had missed the possessiveness. I had let the devil get inside.

We sat down, facing one another across the table. He stared mostly out at the dancefloor, his eyes sometimes trailing to me in curiosity if I provided a weird explanation on what I had done throughout my time away.

"What you played was a beautiful lie, hidden within such a good and innocent seeming face. But sweet cheeks, now you remember, this is just a game." He grinned with a cheerful, though he would never admit any form of weakness there was evidently a part of him which feared I had debated my choices. If I would truly let go of the denial created by society.

Yet as much as I would never choose to just kill, as much as I could never fall to the point of him, I had seen the other side. I didn't want to live a lie that I believed any longer. I had fallen into the dark enchanting embrace of madness.

"I just tried my best for you, J. I tried not to lose all self-control and waited on you." I grinned, my hand reached across the table to stroke his pale skin, he uncomfortably shifted at me making the first point of contact. Laughing slowly at my responses.

"Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. Do you take me for a fool? I know you try to tempt me with fake emotion…Let's not pretend for that is not to be taken lightly! You and I, both, know you are but a toy. You're efforts make you seem so… _innocent_ … which is flattering yet unnecessary. Regardless of what you do you are stuck. Until my plan is finished and I'm bored." His eyes turned dark as his laugh continued to cackle, amused by the control he had.

It was a warning for my life. A reminder I was on a time limit. It was now time to do or die.


	14. A Day Without Laughter, Is A Day Wasted

I sat in the booth watching people come and go, the Joker would leave for long periods of time obviously dealing with other matters. I sat continuing to watch those on the dancefloor, I felt I should be more relieved I was back in this lifestyle, after all I had craved it the entire time I was away from it. Yet I knew there was just one thing missing, the excitement. Whether people would regard this next statement as a notion of kindness from him or not, I believe it was intended to be. But he kept me from the murders for that night, any hand he lay on anyone was counteracted with a glance my way. Assessing how I had changed, _if_ I had changed.

It was inevitable for me to consider my own situation in general also. My previous life had appeared a lie, an intrinsic, captivating yet boring lie that I lived day to day. The amount of times during that life that I had questioned my motives, questioned who I really was could drive anyone into insanity. He had just given me the final _push_. My bad day to change everything I knew and turn my life upside down – or as I prefer to think of it, the right way up. I gazed over to him, his blue eyes flicking to mine for an instant and I saw clarity within them. He had no doubts or questions for his purpose in life, I was unsure if he even sought a purpose in life. I suppose it would be more appropriate that the clown prince of crime just lived. No questions, no pre-decided purpose, just living. The crimes he committed would flood a humans systems with adrenaline, with power that could not be matched. But what had made this man, this no-doubt once beautiful man turn into this picture of insanity. What was his bad day?

For the most part I sat there emotionless, at most a smile toying on my lips but not once flinching at his actions whenever he had someone to discipline. I had become tamed in my short time with him. He slipped into the seat once again, sighing as hit twiddled his cane between his thighs and the man that would now be left with untreatable scars across his face was dragged away. His crisp white shirt was unbuttoned slightly, revealing his collar bone and pale chest the scattering of tattoos peering out at certain points, none of which were truly uncovered. His holster was no longer around his back, he must have taken it off in his last 'business meeting'.

"J" I murmured, biting my lip as a sign of surrender. I would not make any attempts to do him wrong. After our conversation clearly hinting at my worth I found myself reserving every word I had. I was riddled with angst about annoying him, he could decide time was up. So Instead, I would just be me – an overly polite me. His eyes glanced to mine as he cocked a brow, a smirk playing on his lips as he slowly narrowed his eyes, turning his head to the side awaiting my continuation. "I can't help but feel… Bored. As though you're now restricting the excitement around me."  
A laugh bellowed from his chest, slowly erupting from mouth. "Not every night has to be chaos my dear. I thought you'd appreciate the _ease_ back into this… You never were too keen on it anyway." He leaned back in his seat and turned his head away once again, spectating on the night before him. It was the first time I had seen him appear to be relaxed. As though there was no more planning needed right now, there were no more actions and murders to be committed yet, it was a time he could just sit there and not have to think too hard. I would try my best not to spoil it.

"Very generous of you. But, normality doesn't appear to be my thing anymore and I want you to show me this way of life. Let me live it, with you. I miss it."  
He didn't respond. He wouldn't even muster up a single movement to acknowledge my statement. I furrowed my brows at his lack of response and gazed at his face, hoping to draw some form of attention from him. As I scanned his face I became scared at the familiarity I had. This was the face that would terrifying children in the night, the face that tormented so many and made any normal chore of society a threat to their lives. Yet here I was, the once innocent and love filled bright eyed doe of a girl, and I knew how his teeth glistened, the metal framing his undoubtedly chipped and fragmented teeth, I knew how his bright emerald green hair flopped when he was angry and how he would swipe it back with ring filled fingers as he composed himself – usually through laughter. This man was the walking living standard of imperfect. And yet this inhumane image before me appeared so compelling, the tortured blue eyes with a freakish amount of clarity had surely taken the breaths of many away when he was – for lack of a more appropriate word- human. It was undeniable that the agent of chaos took mine.

"Be careful what you wish for, doll face." He grinned, his metal grates gleaming as he laughed. The light casted shadows under his eyes, making the already dark circles under his eyes sink deeper into his face.

Just as I was about to respond Shiv interrupted, removing black gloves from his hands and placing a gun on the table before the joker. He leaned over to him and whispered some news, the Joker merely nodded. J could see me stare at Shiv, his transformation after such a short period of time couldn't help but haunt me. He had been so innocent, someone a mother could love. Yet now, he appeared ever so similar to the Joker himself. It was no doubt the way that others would see me, yet I myself couldn't see any changes whenever I had looked myself in the mirror. In fact, my eyes looked more passionate and alive than ever.

"Sit, boy. Sit" his voice was menacing as he moved slightly further up the booth, trapping himself between the wall and Shiv as he nervously obliged, sitting down next to him.

The Joker spoke very little, forcing Shiv and I to have polite small talk – not wanting to delve too deep into any conversations for the sake of annoying the Joker. Every time I leant over the table, merely for the sake of interest in our conversations, Shiv would retreat back into the seat, his eyes glancing anywhere but me. He appeared as though he was retraining every comment he had, trying to seem as disinterested as possible. Drinks would arrive at our table frequently and again I would attempt to engage in conversation with them, but to no avail.

I was now aware that no man would dare go near me. He wasn't going to share his toys and let anyone live to tell about it. Any time I tried to engage in some form of interesting conversation – which would always be responded with polite nothings that shut down the topic immediately – I would notice the Jokers turned face have a small smirk tear across his face. I slumped in my chair and sighed, pouting my lips in irritation I glanced at Shiv. I could feel my eyes turning darker, as I nodded my head swiftly to the right intimating for him to leave. He asked to be pardoned and the Joker cut him off mid-sentence, waving him away.

I took a deep gasp of air, holding it tightly within my chest – it refrained any hesitant breaths escaping – as I stalked round the table and slid into the seat with false confidence. I was now right next to my bemused enlightener.

He turned his head, his body motionless as his hands gripped the knife he had been fiddling with under the table. He didn't turn his head from the forward stance it was facing, but his eyes peered at me out the corner of his eye as his lips parted slightly, the metal only just visible under his blood red lips. I could feel him scrutinising me, to the point of every breath I took.

I slipped off my coat I had hugged around me the entire time, forgetting the fact I was majorly underdressed for being in such a place and for being surrounded by men in suits and women in skimpy dresses. Instead I was in black ripped jeans and a baggy white blouse which was loosely tucked in. I slipped onto my knees, my body angled towards him. "Mister J" I whispered, caution in every move I made, trying to make it clear as possible that this as no longer an act.

He continued to watch me, his blinks phasing out the time it took his eyes to go from my body to my face. Although as I said those words I heard a sharp breath, as though it had been too long since he had heard those words from someone other than his men.

"Why do you trap me? J, I came without defiance. Show me some fun, _please_ " I begged, my voice soft trying my best not to vex him. I daringly lay a hand on his shoulder, a request for him to actually look at me.  
A slow trembling laugh began to rise from him as his shoulders shook with each 'ha'.

"My dear" he grinned his brows risen as he turned his head towards me, placing the knife on the table. "How about we call it a night? Hm" he nudged his head forward, as though trying to excite a child. I nodded slowly, a scared cautious smile spreading across my lips. He stood and offered his hand, I slipped down, placing my feet on the ground as I slipped my hand into his and led him out the booth. One of his men handed him is suit jacket – black, matching his black tightly fitted trousers – as I grabbed mine and draped it over my arm. His arm rose and wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me to his warmth as he directed my walking out the back door and onto the biting cold night. He steered me to the front of his club, I assume this way less disturbance would be caused than if we had walked directly through the club – or possibly he wanted most people to think he was still in there overseeing the night. If that wasn't enough to make people behave then I don't know what was.

"Sir." A man said holding out keys after driving a metallic purple Lamborghini up in front of it. Without a second glance the Joker snatched the keys and stalked towards the car, me under his wing. I walked to the passenger side as I watched him slipping in, I knew waiting around and questioning would be the worst choice and so without hesitation I climbed inside.  
The car revved to a start as I fastened my seat belt, a smirk of amusement crossing his face. "Where to doll face?"

Places crossed my mind as I panicked on the spot, I had no idea where to go. I doubted there was very many places I could go with such a man by my side without being noticed. I turned to him, "I trust you." A sultry tone left my lips, whether this was an accident or not I don't know.

He leaned over and grabbed my brown wavy hair, the bun I had put in earlier that night disheveled and strands falling out framing my face. His nose could practically touch mine with how close it was, I could feel his slow breathing seep through his metal grated teeth and tickle my skin. One green strand of hair fell before his eyes and I was inclined to gently push it back into place, completing his bizarre look.

"Say please…" his voice was high, demanding with a sense of gentleness. Yet again it was patronising, as though talking to a child. And yet it captivated me. I could feel his grip loosen in my hair, instead he tangled the strands around his fingers, seeping them in and out of my hair.

My brown eyes met his as I gazed into the icy abyss, warm chocolate fighting against stinging frost.

"Please" I whispered. The smell of his cologne intoxicating my mind.

Just as the longing became unbearable, his lips met mine. I sunk into the kiss and allowed my lips to part at the motion of his. Our tongues play fought. In that moment it felt as though the world stopped, nothing outside this moment mattered. My hand rose to place it gently upon his right cheek, leaning further into the kiss as our lips toyed with one another as the other lay limp gently against his toned chest. His fingers twisted tightly in my hair, tugging slightly even though his lips remained gentle. I was relishing this. Something so wrong, so vile to the rest of society, felt so right. He had unleashed a longing in me that begged for a different life, and yet the entire time I still felt human, moments like this made me feel human again. I hadn't felt this since my engagement. Slowly, he pulled back, his blue eyes filled with a hunger darted across my face as my own eyes opened, filled with lust and longing. His smudged blood red lips were slightly parted as quite pants escaped through clenched teeth. Then the moment was gone.

He turned to face the front and erupted in laughter, his shoulders rising and falling with each cackle. I felt my cheeks redden as a smile played on my lips. My fingers trailed my mouth, glancing at them I saw his bright red makeup smeared across my fingertips and in conjunction, my lips. His hands clamped onto the steering wheel and he slammed on the accelerator. "We're in for quite the ride, Jester."

I couldn't help but grin and laugh a little in response. I wasn't so dumb as to think this was a whirlwind romantic scenario and I most certainly wasn't saved by a prince in shining armour. No, I had a Prince of crime. The man was vile, insane, the sheer human embodiment of the devil, and I knew that this was going to be raw, it was going to be ugly, and I would enjoy every damn minute of it. I liked the feeling of wanting him, I was too captivated by the adrenaline and excitement that pulsed through my veins when I was alone in his presence to think of anything else. A day without this excitement would feel as though a day wasted, he was my laughter.

Beaming him with my pearly whites I replied, "Whatever you want, J."


	15. Privacy In A Goldfish Bowl

His driving matched his nature. He would swerve in and out of cars going manically fast as his laughter matched the roar of the engine. His speed was – like his mind – psychotic. I gripped onto the handle above the window, gasping at moments, fearing I'd come to my end. Yet no crash – not even the slightest graze – occurred, a giggle began to slip my lips as I eased into this situation, before long our laughter symphonised and created a melody of intricate madness. Every moment that passed I was progressively more intoxicated by the madness, the complexity of any tiny movement made by him created another spur of lunacy that all felt unquestionably fun. More fun than anything I had known. There were no longer any standards to which I had to maintain, no more judgement, just the bare brute truth of what really lies beneath the societal principles.

The noise of the engine sunk to an end along with his laughter as it fell eerily silent in his car. The only sounds radiating from his pale fingers tapped on the steering wheel as he hummed a tune to himself, his rings clinking against the pale metal that scattered the wheel. His steel eyes were dancing about at the night before him, scrutinising the lamppost and the dark run down street. He was judging his situation, contemplating moving on.

"J…?" I whispered, my eyes lingered past his face at the brown stoned warehouse just outside his door, a fence topped with spiralling barbed wire circumscribing it.

His eyes shot to my face, a grin sprawling and electric scribing in his eyes. Without a word he slipped out of the car, intent covering every movement he made. His presence was domineering, this place seemed to connect with him and although his mind never appeared at ease as he stalked to my side of the car - my eyes watching him through the windows - and opened my door, he did appear to be confident in his surroundings. It was as though he had returned to an abusive home, a home he knew all too well.

"M'lady", he bowed theatrically as he opened the door for me.

A smile graced my lips as I slid out of the car as gracefully as I could. With a slamming of the door he paced to the fence and yanked a part of it open with no difficulty and slid through the gap he had created. He wasted no time waiting for me to catch up and continued on inside the apparently abandoned warehouse.

I rushed after him, trying to find my way in the dark as I was walked through the old wooden side door of the building. On the inside it was revoltingly dilapidated, the black cemented floor was wet and scattered with broken pieces of wood. I sneered in disgust at the amount of dead rats that littered the floor in places. "J…" I called out to the darkness, the old lights were dim and struggling to light the vast space. There were places were no light hit, anything or anyone could be lurking in the shadows, I couldn't stop my mind from assuming this was no doubt his plan. He was most likely hiding in one of those pools of darkness – watching me fend for myself in this daunting place.

"Joker… Please, where are you? I'm not the biggest fan of the dar-" my words cut off and instead I squealed at the sudden noise of a machine starting from behind me. I squinted through the bleak lighting and saw a large cylindrical shaped cement bowl, risen out of the ground. A tube from above spilled a toxic greenish-white liquid into the container. Cautiously I began to walk towards it, the depth of the pool domineering over me as I entered its shadow.

"Oh doll-face, I know you're not keen on the dark." His voice echoed, bouncing off the surrounding walls as I spun on my heel, glancing for any inkling of where he was hiding. A brown paper folder slid across the floor, filled with page after page of what appeared to be notes and information. His pale physique entering a lit zone, his white shirt unbuttoned down to his centre and his sleeves rolled up. The poor lighting causing his white face to appear skeletal as he gradually progressed nearer to me.

"What is this?" I asked, slowly picking up the folder that had been thrown my way.

"Let's just say I wish to prod deeper into that beautiful little mind of yours... consider this an interrogation, or better yet! An interview with the possibility of being an…" He searched for the word, his hand wavering in circular motions trying to find one. "Associate."

I flicked the folder open, my eyes searching through the pages before me. At each sentence I could feel my stomach sink lower and lower, contorting in humiliation and betrayal. Feelings I had buried years ago came flooding back and my cheeks reddened from the flood of emotions that washed over me. There were dozens of pages all filled to the brim of information on me. Each tiny detail.

Birthmarks, tattoos, my education, relationships, childhood experiences, therapy sessions, _everything_.

"What is this?! Joker, why do you have all this?" My voice was forceful, aggressive as I seethed in humiliation. My words echoed through the building, his brow rose and a smile flashed suddenly onto his painted lips. A slow cackle rang from him and amusement flooded his persona.

"Why it's exactly what it looks like! It's _all_ you. Might I say you are a complex little girl, the perfect walking contradiction at times!" He laughed, now pacing around me as I continued to read through all the notes. "So I see you like the colour red…" he teased, watching as my body stiffened through every moment, every word making my face contort in horror. I felt violated.

"Why do you need to know this stuff? This doesn't matter anymore, it's happened. Been and gone."

Suddenly he slithered in front of me. His hand clamped down on my face, his tattoo once again aligning over my mouth as he squeezed painfully onto my cheeks. "Why _Jessy, Jessy, Jester._ " His voice was shrill with amusement, yet from his eyes there was no denying that his words were seeping with poison.

" **Never** underestimate a person's past. Why everything they do _now_ is because of what happened _then_." His words were logical, I suppose his time being with Harley did ware off on him considering he was obviously enjoying the nurture argument of the debate. That one's experiences and upbringing will relate to one's personality. My eyes had been fixed on him, wincing at the pain spreading across my jaw. Slowly his hand dropped from my face as he turned and met the darkness, his arms crossing behind him.

My eyes trailed to the papers once again, as I flipped yet another page my face befell the image of a young beautiful man. I could feel my heart contort in agony and my breathing hitch. I was transfixed on the picture as I felt my eyes beg for tears. Yet I retrained myself, blinking away any that threatened to escape just so I could continue to stare at the print before me. I hadn't noticed that I was now being watched, a smirk on his face and eyes filled with an expression I hadn't truly seen in this pure a form from him before.

"Why don't you tell me about Alfie?"

My eyes flashed to him under my lashes. The tears stung at my eyes as I felt a few manage to escape and trail down my now cold face. All warmth had left my body at that name. The Joker possessed all the knowledge on the topic anyone could every possibly want – that much as evident - yet he would put me through the torture of articulating it all? How truly dire the devil was before me had only just become evident.

My silence wasn't a good enough response for him as he smacked the papers out my hand. "Come on dear! Alfie-e-e… Alfie, Alfie, Alfie! Surely you remember who he was?! After all you _are_ supposed to be married to him by now!" His laughed filled the warehouse, hauntingly echoing throughout.

"He's gone." I whispered, incapable of looking at him. Instead I fixed my eyes on the ground before me.

"That's it… now develop…" He suddenly yanked a chair from out of the darkness as his eyes danced with joy, as though a child watching a puppet show. He sat on the chair backwards, a leg on either side and his head propped on his folded arms that were rested on the back support. I stood before him, my hands fidgeting as though a first time performer on a stage.

I couldn't muster any words as I racked my brain. Every scarce thought I had would cause an agonising heartbreak to pierce through my body. And he enjoyed every part of it. I was after all his sadistic performance. His little Jester used for entertainment, and the master currently wanted a tragic tale.

"Alfie died… Last year. He was murdered."


	16. Tale of Woe

"I met him when I was twenty. I had just moved to Gotham, anxious and afraid as I began my University course for journalism. The large over towering city wasn't what I was used to, coming from my quaint country life. Yet I sought thrill and change, I always had and the countryside only brought me boredom. The idea of knowing everyone in my quaint village was tedious, there was no excitement at experiencing anything new. Yet my parent's, I can't fault them, moved there as they believed that it would be what was best for me. So there I was in this unknown enthralling new city, ready to take it in my stride even though every step I took was filled with hesitation of the unknown.

Having come from such a protected childhood I found it nerve-wracking to start anew even though that's what I had always thrived for, the idea of adventure had haunted my mind since I was a child. A confused and mentally tormented child. Having lived in such a place all my life I was bored, attended therapy for quite a few years, my parent's concerned faces are imprinted in my brain. Always hoping that one day I'd be better without having to move. My therapist related my issues to being trapped – in everything I did I would endure the agonising tedium that came from doing the same things every day, experiencing the same situations daily. Depression and numbness had become part of my daily routine, I would sit laughing and entertaining friends with the feeling that I was never really myself or more frequently, not feeling anything at all. I lived only for the idea that I would be able to escape it all and achieve a more complex and thrilling life. And Alfie helped with that.

I met him at a university party, the few friends I had managed to make in the two weeks I had been there and I stood by the bar. The third bar of the pub crawl and we all felt a bit woozy to say the least and yet as my friend Stephanie chatted away about her boyfriend and how we _had_ to meet him – she was entirely love struck – my eyes were drawn to the man that had just walked through the door. His green eyes were striking, more prominent from his defined cheek bones and tanned flawless skin. His dark hair was ruffled, as though he had just rolled out of bed. My cheeks blushed as he glanced over to me, my eyes darting away in embarrassment that I had been caught staring. He quickly spoke a few words to his group of friends, using the excuse of getting a drink to stand behind me. I turned towards the bar, taking a sip of my drink as flirtatiously as I could my eyes trailing to the beauty of a man beside me, a cheeky smile played his lips before he started a conversation.

Immediately we hit it off, his jokey narcissistic ways countered by my playful doubts at his cockiness. We met on numerous dates, keeping most of our meetings private wanting as few people involved as possible until we knew people's expectations was something we could take on together. From the first night we met, we undertook journeys. He was intent on making me see all the best places in Gotham – no matter how dodgy it was. I was to experience it in the way everyone local truly had.

Everything moved rather fast, by the first year we claimed love – most definitely not a lie. By the second year we moved in and began to plan our lives together as we struggled through our university courses. His mind was unlike mine; he was more mathematical, logical and extremely academically smart. I the opposite having always preferred the more creative aspect of subjects in school despite having the ability to excel in all areas – apparently. Yet there was always something we could agree on: in our lives together spontaneity was essential. Neither of us enjoyed feeling trapped and we would often take excursions out the city or abroad to visit other countries, anywhere that we felt that for a short period of time we were starting anew and yet there was finally one commitment I didn't feel trapped in. The commitment to him.

After our four year courses were completed, our graduation took place and our friends around us all began to feel panicked at the idea of getting a job and doing the good and normal thing of settling down and yet this didn't faze Alfie or I as we simply planned our next adventure, even if there were details left out things seemed to work out in the end.

Then I was twenty four. The two of us were exploring the Antelope Canyon, walking through the tall stone walls that through the crack above us allowed sunlight to beam through and illuminate our path. Alfie was falling slightly behind yet I could hear his boots click along the ground knowing that he was still in reach. He had been unable to stop taking pictures since we entered the canyon – and I suppose for much good reason. It was after all beautiful. A small beam of light lit up a circle of the canyon floor, it was picturesque, movie-like. In all those cliché scenes were a damsel in distress enters a beam of light sent from God to appraise them, to help them. I stood in the middle of the stream and gazed upwards, the sun just visible as it glowed through the cracks, the blue sky above almost tainted white from the strength and brightness. 'Alfie… You have to come look at this I called out, my voice echoing through the soft stone. I heard a scuffling of feet and a shuffle of clothes behind me yet no response. Confused at the lack of reply I began to turn around, 'Alf-' my breath hitched as I turned. My heart throbbed and my eyes immediately began to brim with tears as my hands flew to cover my face.

He was directly behind me also in the beam of light and gazing up at me on one knee. Apprehension smothering his face as his hands tried to steady themselves as they held out a little black box with a glistening ring inside, the sun trickled into the diamond and casted spots of light along the pale beige walls as the sliver almost glowed white.

'Jessica, these four years I've been with you has been unlike anything I've ever known. You're beautiful, smart, witty, funny, and just down right my own definition of perfection. There is nothing I could want more than to spend the rest of my life with you, to be yours and you mine. I want to start our next adventure. Please, will you marry me?' the tears swelled in my eyes at his words – he had never been one for the spoken romantics but instead through actions. His voice had wavered with nerves, obviously fearing the outcome could be negative.

I was lost for words as I slid my hands away from my face, I tried to say my answer but couldn't - my breath continuously hitching so instead I nodded. A weak 'yes' finally slipped through my lips and immediately a toothy grin spread across his face as he huffed a laugh of joy and relief. He rose to his feet as I swung my arms around his neck, 'of course I'll marry you, you big oaf.' I cried.

The elegant sophisticated ring was slid onto my tanned fingers with ease. I had never felt such joy in my life and every few seconds through the rest of our walk I couldn't help but glance down at my hand as I clung to him for the rest of the time. In that moment we felt like we could take on the world, as though nothing could come between us. I had called my parents that evening when we returned to the hotel, everything was perfect and they were overjoyed with the news. The weeks went by as everyone sent their congratulations and friends began to help me plan everything. They were of course the most ecstatic for a hen party to occur at some point. Yet Alfie and I agreed we would give it a year at least before we got married, we didn't want to rush it and end up with an unsatisfying wedding – instead it was to be perfect for the both of us. But as our engagement party neared only tragedies occurred.

My parents were on their way to stay with us for a few days, helping us to prepare the final party essentials. Yet on the way to the party they crashed. A fatal crash. A drunk driver had been going too fast and crossed a junction through a red light, smacking straight into their car causing it to flip. Over and over again.  
They died almost instantly. When I received the phone call it would be an understatement to say I was a ruin. Guilt flooded my body and the idea of celebrating anything felt pointless. Alfie struggled to comfort me, although he did his best at taking as much stress off my shoulders as possible. The funeral plans were made, the funerals that I was to attend two days after my engagement party. I could see the pain in his green eyes as he saw me become lost in my mind. There were nights were I woke crying with agony after dreaming it was all a nightmare, waking for the realisation to hit that it had actually occurred. They were gone. And it was all my fault. If I hadn't of asked them to come at that point, if I didn't ask them to drive or if I had picked them up myself, they would still be here. The thoughts haunted me daily, but with my friends and Alfie reminding me that they wouldn't have wanted me to live my life with regret or guilt things became easier. If there was one thing I could now do in memory of them or to make them proud, it would be to enjoy my life. To be happy. Regardless of what that meant.

The day of the engagement party Alfie and I had been sat on the couch looking up honeymoon destinations as we waited for Jane to arrive. Alfie had wanted me to get ready with her – my maid of honour – as he applied finishing touches to the banquet in the nearby restaurant we had rented for the night. It was all to be kept secret. We were debating between Cuba – a place for adventure – or Bora Bora – a place of relaxation and retreat – when the bell rang signifying her arrival. As Alfie let her in he kissed me on my forehead as he collected his bag and left, jokingly warning Jane that I wasn't allowed to be late.

For the first time since my parent's deaths I didn't feel haunted. Instead I was actually able to be happy and though the idea of them not around to see it all pained me, I knew that they would be proud of what I was still managing to do without them there to support me.  
Jane and I gossiped and laughed as we went over all the details of the wedding that we had already decided. She was adamant that it be an indoor massive wedding, however Alfie and I were swaying towards the opposite. A wedding that more resembled us together rather than a wedding created for the superficial reasons of size and the amount of guests you could have. Just as we were about to get ready and I would finally be able to show her the dress Alfie had picked out for me to wear – the dress that I wore for the first time recently when she picked it out for the club - there was another ring at the doorbell. Jane called out that she would get it as I poured ourselves a glass of champagne. After she didn't return immediately I began to get concerned. 'Jane?' I called out. There was no response but I could hear the muttering of voices in the hallway.

Placing the two drinks on the kitchen counter I walked into the hall and could see Jane with her back to me, hand placed over her face as her breathing shook. Standing in the doorway were two police men.

'Officers?' I asked slowly walking towards them.

Their words were clear, yet as soon as the first statement of theirs was made I felt faint. My ears rang as I gripped onto the wall for balance in disbelief. My vision was blurred and my heart pounded. Yet there was no pain. I refused to believe this was true. I slowly slid to the floor and Jane's arms began to wrap around me as the police entered further, concerned for my wellbeing. Yet they kept talking. They kept explaining. Shooting. Wrong place, wrong time. Gangs. Gone. Dead. Sorry.

Soon they left, Jane hastily ushering them out the door. My head was pulsating with the swarm of words that had been spoken. 'It can't be…'

That night I had asked to be alone, knowing I would have to go to the station and identify Alfie in the morning. His cold, lifeless body. Jane left for my party. In that night Alfie was shot in a drive by shooting, aimed towards members inside a restaurant that he was walking in front of – there was no intention to kill him it appeared. He was murdered without meaning which almost felt worse in my head. That night I lost my fiancé.

That night the only people not to attend the engagement party, were the bride and groom themselves."


	17. Dancing On The Edge

I stared down at the picture of Alfie, every day I tried to bury the memories of what happened. A slow clapping began to echo through the warehouse and I tore my eyes away from the image. The Joker sat with a motionless face, his eyes hooded with venom dancing in them as he clapped, slowly rising to his feet.

"My little broken jester. A puppet who lost its strings." He placed a hand on my cold colourless cheek. Any tears that had escaped and stripped my cheeks were wiped away with his slender thumb in a quick motion.

All I could do was offer him back the file. I no longer felt like talking, or dealing with the Joker's narcissistic and megalomaniac ways, instead I wanted to mentally cover up the scars I just unleased. He cocked a brow as he glanced at my offering. "I don't want this. I know all about me." I whispered.

Slowly, almost gently, he took it out my hand and stared down at the pretty boy in the picture. Envy struck through his face as it contorted for a split second into pain. That instant of humanity almost made the elegant tattoo across his forehead make sense. The man was damaged from the beauty he once was, he was no longer beautiful and seeing the other side of the coin of what others now had, hurt him. His pride. I imagine that he would have been conceited in his looks and took pride in every aspect he could – as he still did with what he now had. But he now viewed himself as a monster. He detested himself in a way which alluded a weird form of passion; striving for power that he knew made him still on top of others despite not being perfect anymore.

My brain was taken away from the pain I was in and I became aware at the skin to skin contact on my cheek. I felt myself sink into his hand as though to comfort him and yet his eyes still locked on Alfie's face, even if his own now had a grin sprawled across it. Although his eyes continued to tell a different story. Slowly I placed my hand on top of his and lowered it, catching his attention and only the folder in his hand was between us. I began to pry at his fingers, keeping eye contact with big pleading eyes. An assurance that he had to let go, just as I emotionally did. As soon as the folder was once again in my grip I turned slightly and flung the folder into the pool of greenish-yellow liquid before turning to face him once more with a smile upon my lips.

"Not a fan of the old stories?" he quizzed, amusement in his voice as he was impressed by my actions. His pain vanishing in an instant.

"They're all folklore now."

He sucked in a deep breath, his chest broadening and widening as he clapped once again, rubbing his pale hands before him. "Time for a dip?" he suggested. Although it was easy to see that the Joker was overall impressed with my recovery, he must have assumed I would crumble into a mess on the floor before him. Little did he know I had changed more than he thought, my mind was split in frames of mind that were unknown to me and yet whenever I was away from his side I felt as though I was slipping back to life in the country side. Unfulfilling and overall _bored._ After the death of Alfie I had sold our home and instead moved to into the apartment which the Joker had recently destroyed, my life was a 9-5 job and polite social situations.

He grabbed the back of my neck fiercely, leading me back into the dark corners of the warehouse and up crooked and creaking wooden stairs to an overhanging wooden platform that overlooked the pools of liquid below. The drop was massive and as the floor beneath me creaked I was tempted to cling to the Joker for stability. His hands began to play with my hair and slowly his fingers stroked down the back of my neck, goose-bumps prickling my skin at his radiating touch. He moved in front of me, his hand dropping off my body as he neared the edge of the level. The railings that had ran along it were broken, the centre of it – directly above the filled hole – appeared as though something – or someone – had crashed into it.

"Why are we here, J?" I asked, slowly walking towards him, the floor creaking beneath me.

He gazed down into the liquid, his eyes lost in his mind as he spiralled into imagination. "My little Jester… Always with the questions, never with the punchline." He turned back at me and grinned, tilting his head to the left. I stood before him as he looked me up and down, a dark twinge in his eye as he squinted at me. Slowly he showed his metal rimmed teeth, "Little dolly…" he gripped onto my neck, the curve of his hand cupping it as his thumb trailed along my jaw line.

"Somethings eating at you J… It's as though being here is making you different. It's feeding off you." My voice was as soft as silk, mentioning such sensitive topics could easily cause him to turn to an aggressive side.

He let out a high pitched cackle, "Go on…"

"Something tragic happened to you… I'm assuming here by the way you know it so well and the way your mood seems to have a cautious vibe added to it. But you weren't always like, well, _this_. You were like every other person trying to strive for a life in the city and you had one bad terrible day that collapsed upon you and made you spiral into the man you are now. Harley helped. She gave you back an ounce of humanity, even if you never intended for that to happen. But you had a wall up even with her, she was addicted to you and although you may have loved her you knew in her mind the psychiatrist was still there, still analysing and you became uncomfortable with that. So now that she's gone out your life, for reasons I don't know, you felt relief but you had never realised how inhumane you had become…" The words poured out my mouth, most of the time I didn't even think about what I was saying until it had happened. If he hadn't of been in such a peculiar mood I would most likely have been slapped and hit a few times for trying to make assumptions about him – that's if he was in a good mood.

His hand slid down my neck, along my shoulder, and glided across my arm and gripped my hand tightly, I could feel my knuckles try to overlap themselves under the pressure. A gentle grin crossed his mouth and he lowered his head in an animalistic manner to my height, his eyes piercing into mine. "You're so very smart." He tapped his finger on my nose as though praising a child. "This my dear-" he motioned to the liquid below without moving his sight from my face, "is where I became the beauty of a monster that I am today!"

He almost appeared proud of this claim, allowing himself to toy with the fact that he never has a single thought about wishing to be like he used to be; although the tattoo upon his head contradicted this statement. _Damaged._ Even if the damage he referred to wasn't this particular scenario, it did lead him to become the entity that he is now – damaged along the way. This animalistic predator, seeking thrill and chaos in order to achieve his megalomaniac goals that he felt could only be achieved through fear, destruction and money. He would remain cold, psychotic, and a killer on the outside. Nothing fazed him, not anyone dying, not anyone leaving him, the only thing that caused any true rouse out of him was when someone didn't abide by his orders. And even then the only emotion shown was anger, followed by a gunshot of happiness.

"And do you see me as a **hideous** **disgusting** _**monster**_ **?** " he snarled jokingly.

"No." I smiled gazing back at him with a soft smile on my lips.

"Could you…" he paused for a moment, rolling his head as he thought how to end his question. "Could you obey the chaos? Will you dare to take a leap into the unknown, to stand by the insanity of the bare world I have shown you?" His hands were now playing with my hair or caressing my cheek. Obviously trying to tempt and manipulate me into saying yes. Knowing that just like his deprived aspect of humanity, I too sought it in the simplest of forms. Yet I suppose nothing with him was so simple.

I analysed the man before me. If I answer this how I automatically felt, I would be selling my life to the devil. Was it truly something I was prepared to do? To lose all control and sanity I had left. To give myself over to a man of unpredictability and danger. His intoxicating aura drew me in deeper to the darkness that possessed him. But instead of this darkness being one of depression and sadness – even though it may have derived within him from this – it instead brought excitement, adventure, adrenaline that was now incomparable. I hated that I needed him. I needed him to set me free by caging me in his new found world. He taught me a new way of sight and I needed him to light the rest of my path through this world. Without him my day was bland, with a lack of laughter, lack of clowning around (pardon my pun), a day without him was a day wasted. What other choice did I have?

"Yes." I whispered.

His fingers stroked my lips as he smirked. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and twirled me, laughing manically as a few giggles slipped out of me. But then, I was on the edge at a forty-five degree angle my feet balancing on the rim of the wooden floor. My hand dangling over the vast drop before me as my other hand clung to the Joker. A scream left my lips as I tried to swing round and grab onto his arm with my other hand. His laughter rose louder and louder at every panicked squeal and struggle I made.


	18. We Are Saved - By The Lack Of Faith

He began to sing to himself – a clownish melody as he swayed his pale arm which I clung to. His eyes danced callously as he watched my panic rise.  
Every sway twisted me on the balls of my feet as I begged him to pull me back up. He was a wolf watching a helpless deer cling to life. He began to toy with me, trying to devise what it was I truly wanted in life and how far I would go to achieve it.

"And I had thought you wanted to be like me? _This_ is my gift to you." In his eyes dropping me into the vat below was an act of compassion, of showing his acceptance of me - that being because he fully intended to save me after my plunge in the pool rather than sentencing me to my death like he intended for numerous others.

"I do!" I cried, a grin appearing on his face as he once again allowed my hand to slip slightly more out of his grip. "Wait!" I gasped for air among my rapid breaths, my mind running for anyway to convince him otherwise. His head cocked to the side, his grin vanishing as the metal over his teeth shone through partially parted red stained lips. "I do - but not yet. I'm more use to you like this... I mean who would suspect an innocent ex-kidnapped woman to actually be working with the man who captured her in the first place?"

I could see his mind ticking. Yet every second that passed the hold I had on him felt weaker as my feet began to slide and my hands began to loosen. Finally he grunted rolling his eyes and yanking my arm in order to pull me once more to his level.

Yet the jolt caused my hand to slip from his.  
Gravity began to pull me down and I was now truly faced with the prospect of falling into the vat of toxic liquid below, everything appeared to be going in slow motion.

It was the first time I saw his face have that peculiar look of panic cast over his pale skin. It had a foreign appearance on him, the man that usually was unfazed especially in regards to the death of someone – or anyone. Yet as my body began to tug downwards from the ledge it was almost as though this was his biggest fear, the biggest action of chaos he could have committed. My lips fell silent as anguish and terror consumed my limp body, my brown eyes fixated on his icy blue iris' with a sense of heartbreak. The feeling of betrayal. My mind ran with thoughts yet somehow I was overall strangely calm. Only a few seconds had passed since my plummet began.

A ferocious growl filled the warehouse with a "NO!" as the Joker began to lunge forward towards the edge of the ledge. A small smile tainted my lips, comforted at how he cared.

Yet just as I accepted my fate there was a tug at my arm. I dangled over the vat, my shoe slipping and falling to its demise as a black pool of ink tainted the green murky water where it had landed. I gazed below me as the black swirled, in shock that I wasn't nearing it myself. Slowly I began to trail my eyes upwards and found the Joker grabbing on to my wrist.

He lay on the wood, his upper torso unsupported by the wooden planked flooring as his other arm stabilised him while he leaned over the edge. His grilled teeth were clenched, his breath seething between them as his eyes remained glued to me; the determination to save me was unfathomable from such a man. Maybe there was some good in this giver of darkness after all? He began to pull me up slowly, the slight sways making me feel nauseous as the realisation of what had just occurred struck me. I began to panic, each tiny squeal as I flung my other hand up trying to grab a hold of the ledge being hushed by the Joker as he cooed at me patronisingly.

I was finally back up on the wooden floor, lying beside the Joker as the both of us lay on our backs. His hand lay limp on his bare chest, his shirt still mostly unbuttoned. His face almost instantly returned to its usual calm and sadistically contorted phizog. He glared into the darkness ahead of him, his eyes dancing with the shadows he knew so well. My breathing finally slowed as I turned my head to face him a small "thank you" being whispered to which he ignored. He was back to himself once again, not showing any caring forms of emotions, simply that this entire life was a game of using, or being used.

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as I began to giggle slightly. The prospect of everything that could have just happened amused me, relieved me, and soon I found myself laughing uncontrollably at the idea that could have ended me for good. He turned to look at me, his eyes boring into me as he questioned my actions. Yet soon he grinned and a haunting laughter erupted from him and flooded through the otherwise empty warehouse.

We couldn't stop once we'd started. His laugh had dedication, a meaning of horror and darkness that consumed the mind of others. While I on the other hand played the innocence of relief, reluctance, and the simple idea of living for the fun. Our "ha's" and "he's" danced melodically, playing to the beat of the now thunderous rainstorm that clattered against the partially smashed glass windows that were scattered scarcely along the walls.

His laugh began to have a twist as his mind flickered with thoughts and ideas, the chuckles began to die down as he suddenly sprung upon me unannounced a yelp being pushed out of me by the surprise. He remained grinning, his hands gripping onto the sides of my face and twisting my hair around his fingers. "You are a pretty little Jester, aren't ya?" his eyes gleamed with prospects. "And now as you so _courageously_ backed out of our little ordeal back there…" he motioned his head towards the edge of the ledge where I had previously been hanging. "We're gonna have to find a new way to show your _initiation_." A quick buzz of excitement rang through me, however this quickly faded as he flicked an object out of his suit trousers. The glistening metal of a switch knife shone before my eyes.


	19. J Was Here

19

A/N: Sorry for all the delays! And again thank you so much for all the support – it's truly overwhelming.

He twisted the metal allowing the hazy lights to glint off of it. My face began to drop from its previously joyous state as I analysed his every move.

"Don't get panicked now darling, it'll only hurt… a lot." His grinned seemed to seep deeper into his face as his eyes danced with the shining of the knife. As I began to wriggle he giggled within his chest, his pale tattooed hand clamping down over my throat preventing me from moving what little I could beneath him. Although panic was the initial feeling to ring through my body as I locked eyes with his I couldn't help but trust… I had done the unimaginable.

He sliced my top from the collar diagonally to the top of my breast revealing my untainted tanned skin.

He began to lower the knife tilting his head from side to side as he hummed, analysing where to embed the sharp tip into my skin. He sighed, his mouth no longer upturned and the grills only partially visible as shadows danced across his skeletal features. It was as though he was deciding against the entire situation, my eyes stared at him pensively. Yet quicker than this moment arrived, the knife was stabbed just below my collar bone on the left.

A shriek naturally left my mouth and I bit down on my lips, so hard that blood began to brew and spill from it. He grinned at my reaction, savouring every moment of pain. He began to drag the knife down and then slanted it slightly to the side before relieving my skin. In that moment the seeping irritation and burning that spread through my arm was agonising. Blood leaked form the freshly made cut and he continued the masterpiece he was creating on me. His hand would clench and loosen around my neck, any time I would try to squirm I was hushed and cooed as his strong fingers applied more pressure, yet I could tell he was enjoying every part of it and as bizarre as it may sound the moment seemed intense, unique, as though a bond was slowly being made – a bond that instead of focusing on the pain, made me simply more excited as I tried not to writhe and ruin his work.

Finally he was finished and I could feel the deep cuts that would inevitably scar run red all down the left of my chest.

"Now… Your _perfect_ " his blue eyes tainted with joy and amusement as he stared over the carvings, his hand releasing from my neck as he instead sat up straight – still straddling me as I lay limp on the floor – and trailed his thumb along the cuts, bringing it into sight as his pale bleached skin dripped red. As the drops began to fall blending with the small bubble of blood that had erupted form my lips, he tilted his head back as his familiar shrill laugh filled my ears and I grinned.

I grinned because I relieved he was finished, I grinned because the pain truly wasn't as bad as it initially had been, but more terrifyingly - I grinned because _he_ was happy.

He flung himself to his feet, adjusting his shirt as he sneered down at me, his line of sight dotting between the cuts and my face. As he did so small blood tracks from his thumb spread into the fabric of his shirt like a Rorschach test. He slipped the knife into his trouser pocket elegantly before offering me a hand.

With a spring in my step I was pulled into his arms from my limber state on the floor, he began to sway with me still clasping my hand as we twirled. Once again he felt truly fulfilled.

"So what does it say, J?" I questioned innocently, anticipation growing inside me.

He leaned down, his wine lips centimetres from my ear as he whispered in a husky deep tone: J was here

My heart thumped. A lot of you may roll your eyes at the cliché style of it but truly the idea that this was embedded within my skin forever was enthralling to me, it was the first time since Kieron that someone truly wanted me and wanted no one else to have me. His possessiveness was intoxicating as this already abusive relationship became my addiction, there was few times I had ever been truly afraid and think he would kill me – instead I just knew in the end there will always be a notion of excitement.

I could feel the blood stain my top and the rubbing of the fabric as it moved loosely against it caused it to burn, yet the cool liquid that continued to spill eased all pain.

"Perfect." I replied with a smile before placing a hand on his cheek, "no one will dare try to cross me. Not if I'm yours."

He flashed his grey teeth, "let's scoot doll face… This place is _dated_ for now." He rolled his eyes dramatically as though to pretend we were in an awful situation for a date. Smiling back to him I simply nodded and began to lead the way back down the stairs, trying to stick to the pools of light that would begin to turn off behind me.

Just as we were leaving the vile decomposing building he stood by a switch panel, his hand eagerly gripping onto a lever. 

"OH! Forgot to say darling", he cocked his head to me, that familiar devious look tainting his face. "Everyone shall know you're mine. One way or another." And with that he yanked the lever down, the bare gloomy warehouse delving into darkness as we found our way back to the car.


	20. Demon's That Play Well With Our Own

After his usual chaotic, driving with the street lights blurring by, we had ended up outside a rather fancy looking apartment block in the centre of Gotham. It had seemed bizarre to me that he would hide in plain sight, knowing that at any moment the police – if they ever dared – or the batman could easily find him. However, the Joker was never a man for hiding in the shadows, he was always one to tempt fate and dance along the line of sanity and destiny. He would take his chances simply for the thrill of it becoming a possibility.

"Home sweet home, care to see what is now your humble abode?" he grinned, his fingers clenching onto the steering wheel once more.

"Why of course… Lead the way Mr J." I grinned, my hand sliding teasingly down his sleeve. My chest had begun to burn, I could feel the blood begin to clot around each letter and instead the crusting blood made my chest feel tighter, any movement made my skin dare to rip further. Covering my discomfort I maintained a cheery façade as his joy flooded the car as he triumphantly slid out, his domineering yet slinky walk filling my sight as he crossed to my side of the car opening my door.

"Madam…" he offered his arm to me, as elegantly as I could I twisted my body and slid out of the car suddenly becoming aware of the number of people standing in shock on the street. Those pointing and staring, others trying to take pictures subtly, and some simply trying to find an escape. I couldn't help but smile slightly as I linked arms with J and was led to the front of the building. The intimidation and fear that his presence caused was welcoming to me, I knew that nothing bad could truly get to me if I was to stay by him. Who would dare toy with the Joker's girl? A blush crept upon my pale cheeks at the thought, _his girl_. Could I really allow myself to think such things?

He must have noticed the pink spread across my face as he lent down and grumbled, "I'd give it five minutes for that photo to be spread…" he grinned.

Crap. My phone began to buzz inside my pocket, as soon as one phone call finished another began and the buzzing was constant as we entered the elevator.

"Look at the damn phone, Jessica." He snarled rocking his head back, his irritation apparent as he slammed the top number – number 24 – on the dial.

"Sorry…" I mumbled digging my arm into my pocket. 4 missed calls, 6 text messages, 3 Facebook messages, and even two emails from Jane. I sighed and began to unlock my phone, I could feel his eyes slowly draw to my screen as he tried to subtly read what was happened.

Jane was panicking out her mind – 'Where are you?!', 'He's on the loose you shouldn't be out alone at this time', 'call me.', 'This better not be you.', 'Jessica this isn't funny!' and so on. Yet as soon as I opened my email the pictures of me getting out the car with him were there. He was right.

"I guess you know social media well…" I gestured my phone to him, even though I knew for a fact he had already seen it on my phone. He slowly slid it out my hand and into his, grinning amusingly at it all.

I could see his eyes dance with pleasure as he analysed each picture: one of him standing waiting like a devious gentleman; my slow appearance out of the car with the torn shirt flashing the blood stains on my chest; my doe eyed turn towards him as I linked arms with him; and then more dauntingly my shocked face as I looked straight into one of the photos, J grinning beside me watching my expression as realisation had flooded it.

Suddenly he had clicked off the email and had started to do things on my phone which he deliberately held away from me so I couldn't stop him.

"J what're you doi-"

"SMILE!" He laughed, pulling the corners of my mouth up before placing his hand around my neck and taking a picture of us on his phone. Then he continued his intentions on my phone before laughing to himself and handing it back over.

"What did you do…?" I asked, sliding it back into my pocket.

"Just let them know you're safe, don't worry doll face." His hand around my neck began to clamp slightly tighter just as the elevator pinged and the doors began to open. His hand flew off my neck and slowly he began to back out of the door, clapping his hand once before dramatically turning and waving around the apartment before him. "Welcome to your new home!"

As I stepped out I was shocked by the sheer size of the place, his voice could echo through the room as this penthouse was fashionably decorated with minimalist furniture and giant windows so far off the ground that you could scan most of the city and never fear who could see you in return. The walls were tainted different shades of white and grey, the cushions on the black couches and seats lightening and livening up the place with its extreme colours that would of course link to the Joker's ever flamboyant and individual style.

I couldn't help but gaze in shock at the place, I automatically began to walk to the windows which lined the far wall of the apartment. The Joker stood and watched with intrigued eyes, shushing anyone that came forward from other rooms as he examined my every move. I placed my blood stained hands on the window pane staring at the twinkling lights in the darkness. I had missed seeing such sights that I would get from my old apartment, as nice as Jane's was it provided nothing like this. I was so engrossed I hardly noticed the Joker creep up behind me.

"Pleased I take it?" he grinned, his blue eyes digging into me as his hand rose and brushed strands of hair that covered my face behind my ear. A small "yes." left my lips.

"Shiv!" J shouted snapping his fingers, I didn't turn from my stance. "we need to clean a few cuts…" the Joker threw the knife that had been used against me – drenched in ruby red blood – towards Shiv before turning back to me. His actions once again seeping back to a relaxed and gentle state. "Sit." He stated under his breath. When the only way I could react was by looking up at him he repeated "Sit" with a harsher tone, he was still not to be crossed.

Obeying his orders I slunk to the black sofa and sat down, the Joker stood towering above me, awaiting for Shiv's return.

As he slowly walked in carrying a bag of things to clean my cuts. As soon as his tired eyes crawled across my body his froze, his face turned even paler as his eyes fixated on the blood stains that covered my top and the blood splatters drying over my skin.

"What happened?! J, who did this?" he growled, his voice was filled with hate. The Joker however just laughed before bending down and pulling my top to the side revealing the words that were now etched onto my skin. Disgust contorted across Shiv's face as he tried to look away. Revolted by the Joker's actions.

"Now deal with this boy." The Joker shoved Shiv's back causing him to jolt my way before he swiftly left through a doorway on the right hand side behind the couch I was sitting on as Shiv lowered himself to his knees to examine the monster cuts covering my body.

As he began to peel away my top carefully and wiped the crisping blood we sat in awkward silence, I continued to gaze around the beautiful apartment in awe trying to think of anything else other than the stinging pain erupting from my skin as disinfectant came into contact.

"Why do you let him do this?" he asked shaking his head, his voice hushed ensuring no one in any other rooms could hear.

"I think we both know nobody _lets_ him do anything." I mumbled in response, anger having boiled within me for some reason at Shiv's disgust. "You should be careful with what you say Shiv, if anyone hears such things it'll be the end of you and the both of us know it."

He grumbled in response, his words undistinguishable. His hands worked quickly on my cuts and I was shown to a mirror to finally lay my eyes on the markings for the first time. In my head I had created this image that they would large, messy, gruesome gashes along my body – at least the amount of blood had suggested that had occurred. But instead the writing was strict in line and almost elegantly laid into my skin yet there was no denying there were deep – _very_ deep. As I stared into the ruined skin I smiled, it was a personal statement that defined one part of me.

No, the idea of being controlled wasn't my favourite thing in this world yet the aspects that came with it made it seem ever so pleasant. However, this presented more – it presented having been set free, a new beginning, and a man that would truly kill in order to let me live - If even just for the time being. There were no more alibi's about who I was, no more facades. It was a moment to feel alive, to allow yourself to fall apart and come back anew. To battle with the monster within was no longer the option, instead I had become fond of the pale devil that stood in a room near me. He had set me free, despite having been my captor. The mirror no longer represented any reminiscent of the ignorant woman I used to be, but instead stood a confident beauty who's innocent look was merely skin deep. I was consumed by desires. Why hide them?

I was his girl.

I walked away from Shiv, leaving him standing there as I heard him mumble "your welcome" to himself. The large apartment was easy to get lost in, yet I had only one door in mind. I stalked past the couch with determination and opened the door I had previously seen him walk through. He stood with his back to the door in a large room as he and several other men scanned over monitors discussing plans. The room fell immediately silent as I entered and yet I paid no head. Without a second thought I walked to the ruthless murderer as he turned to face the entity that had entered – a sadistic grin on his lips as his eyes casted over my bruising cuts. Without a word, I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him. This is how life was meant to be. I was to be his creation, his accomplice, his toy, his.


	21. A Fever Of Passion Not To Be Cured

His eyes had surprise spark within them as my lips met his, yet I didn't waver in my intentions. I had finally succumbed to his reality of life. His hand gripped onto my top, fistfuls clenched in his hands as he pulled me closer to his body, the other men in the room shifting awkwardly as they remained unsure if they should leave or wait it out. After a few moments the Joker tore his mouth from mine as a groan escaped his lips. His piercing eyes slid open and fixated on my desire filled face, "out" he murmured to his men, his words dripping with his intentions.

The men swiftly walked out of the room leaving every piece of their work unfinished. Yet the Joker paid no heed, for once allowing for his plans not to be perfected immediately and on schedule. Instead he was intoxicated by his cravings for me, his hands continued to clench tighter and tighter, they remained gripped at my waist and he kissed me once again this time pushing further – more forcefully - into the kiss causing my body to lean back slightly at the weight being pressed onto me. His hand flew to the back of my head, not allowing me any room to waver and pull away, a smile tainted my lips as a hunger grew deeper within me. Every time our lips parted, the tiniest segment of space that appeared, for the smallest of time, would allow for my lips to tingle furiously, longing to be placed back once again on his.

My fingers slipped into his hair, tugging slightly and playing with the soft green locks belonging to the monster of a man before me. I felt the warmth of one of his hands rise to the rip in my top and he tugged with apparent ease, the scraps fell to the floor as he pulled away to admire the view. His metal teeth glistened as his familiar devilish smile cast over his now smudged messy red lips. His blue eyes danced across my body, a yearning in his hooded steel blue eyes that would terrify most. His actions suddenly soothed, became slow and soft as he swept strands of hair behind my face, outlining my bone structure and staring into my eyes with an unusual gaze. His fingers trailed down my neck, my collar bone and across the cuts he had freshly made, stinging erupting from my skin causing me to gasp and whine quietly in pain as tears brimmed in my eyes as I chewed down on my lip trying to stop any noise escaping. Then suddenly just as quickly his emotions turned ferocious and desire filled instead. His fingers which lay limp on my chest suddenly began digging into my soft tanned skin, the cuts brewing with blood once again.

Naturally, a shriek left my mouth, "J! What're you doing?!" I said trying to shrug him away yet the pain that was now radiating in my body made my arm go numb.

"Shhh…Shhh… You're gonna be alright" he grinned as his other hand grabbed the back of my head pulling me once more to his lips. Thankfully his hand left the cuts as a burning sensation began and instead his hands continued to remove items of clothing from my now aching body.

Yet somehow despite the agonising pain the concept of stopping was not an option.

It took very little time before I was stood stark in my underwear before him, my nervous hands frantically trying to undo the rest of the buttons on his already partially undone shirt. Our mouths moved together in synchronisation with a heated passion unmatchable by any other kiss I had experienced in the past. It was a new sensation, a depth to it I hadn't felt since Alfie. The thought of him made my stomach churn and almost pull away yet something tied me to the Joker, a string bound by indestructible wire. He groaned as he felt my hands push his shirt from his pale skin and roam his beautiful body, scars intertwined with the tattoos that cast over his shoulders, the blackness contrasting with his snow coloured skin. In a swift movement his hands grabbed under my thighs and placed me atop of the desk to the side of us as he forced himself between my bare legs his hands lingering across my body in a flurry of lust. His eyes spoke words that would never leave his dominating lips, despite the hunger and force that controlled my body against his I felt comfort, there was a softness in every aggressive action. His green hair was dishevelled and his breathing hastened as he pulled away beginning to unbutton his trousers, pulling back a mischievous smile cast across my stained lips. I removed his hands from the rim of his trousers and instead replaced them with my own, taunting him and teasing him as I slowly began to fiddle with the button and zip which would lead to his undress. His teeth gritting as I did so, becoming more and more enticed as I objected to kisses from him simply leaning my head away as soon as he was millimetres from my lips causing him to instead place his lipstick marks across my neck and collar bone. His hands gripped my thighs, his fingers digging in to an almost painful extent and yet all I did was enhance the thrill of my situation.

Once I had finally released him from the constricting fabric of his trousers I once again attempted to resist a kiss which led to J gripping a fist full of my hair, dragging my ear to his mouth as his voice snarled with his quickened breathes, " **don't** forget your mine little Jester."

With a flood of confidence I replied in a sultry tone, words that I never believed would escape my mouth, "and you're _my_ Joker… what is a quixotic queen supposed to do without her king of Kiers and kenodoxia."

A shrill laugh erupted from within him and I became aware of what I had just said. I had attempted to claim him as he had done me. "You vixen." He stated before slamming his mouth once again to mine. His body pressed against mine and goose bumps prickled my skin at the surprise warmth of his body. I could feel each muscle indenting into my body as his hands roamed the curves of my large breasts and cinched waist. The blood he had caused to erupt from my skin spreading across the 'Ha's' of his tattoos, a more devilish appearance casting over them. His laughter continued to echo in my ears as our breathing quickened, our lips parting and coming together in heated moments of vigour.

The entire flat was silent bar the melodic pants, laughter, and fervent noises that arouse from the room we were concealed within.

Despite not going into further detail about this particular night, I'm sure no more needs to be spoken of what occurred, but I shall say… it most definitely wasn't a joke.


	22. The World's A Stage, We're Just Actors

I awoke the next morning in an unfamiliar bright lit room. The sun was flooding in through the large windows that plastered half the wall on one side, the black curtains that hung by the white walls on either side only partially closed in an obviously feeble attempt from last night. My eyes were only partially parted as I stared out the window, sinking into the mattress I lay upon as silk sheets lay limp across my bare body. Memories of last night only slowly coming into realisation as I lay there.

A shift sounded from beside me and I became aware that my head rested upon a pale outstretched arm, muscles relaxed yet still the shadows of their definition still casted under them. Suddenly it became real. As slowly as I could, attempting to mimic my sleeping motions I turned within the dark purple – almost black – sheets that were draped across our bodies. His heavy breathing made it clear he was still asleep – no doubt way past his usual hours. He was outstretched with his head titled away from me, towards the door. Shadows casted over his eyes making his relaxed features almost untraceable, it was a bizarre thought to me that the man of such insanity and madness would ever need a time of sleep. He body sprawled across the bed, his legs cocked slightly to the side as his toes dared to almost peak from beneath duvet. One arm lay beneath me, resting my head in a comfortable position, while the other lay limp and upturned next to his head. The bedding barely covered his body causing my cheeks to redden at the sight, it merely teased at his nether-regions as it lay slanted across his lower torso, the large smile tattoo standing out as it balanced on his rising and falling stomach.

I was unsure of what to do. If I could've I would have fallen asleep again yet energy seemed to surge within me making the possibility unimaginable. Instead I lay upon my side now facing towards the Joker and attempting to block out the sun from my adjusting eyes. Slowly I began to trail my fingers gently across his skin, overly aware that waking this man was probably not a good idea and so any movement he made would cause my actions to falter.

He began to murmur and groan in his sleep as his face contorted in confusion, my hand stopped and lay limp on his stomach as I allowed the rest of my body to still maintain its distance from the murderer beside me. "Ha.." he mumbled. At first I assumed he had caught me in my notions and would proceed with patronising statements to embarrass me, yet he continued. "Ha.. Harls."

My heart ached.

 _Harls_.

Harley Quinn. The true Queen of Gotham that the Joker had lost to another. I hadn't dared mention what had happened between the two hoping he would express it in his own time – or that he was entirely over it and perhaps he wasn't infatuated with her (for my own sake) – but in fact I had some insight. She had ran off with a man in her 'crew'. The crew that the government would continuously deny ever creating yet it had been abundantly clear that whenever something out of the ordinary occurred they would appear to help them. It seemed absurd to me that the Joker could possibly lose a girl and she would walk away living and happy, yet I suppose Dr Harleen Quinnzel was no normal girl. She had instead chosen Deadshot, having been forced to help the government so much it seemed as though the entirety of what the Joker stood for didn't quite fit her new expectations, instead her co-worker had become her new counterpart. Yet to hear the Joker speak of _her_ in his sleep made me ache, I truly was another toy in his game of the world. I sighed to myself, beginning to remove my hand from his body and aiming to turn once again to face the windows instead. But he continued to speak.

"Don't." he grumbled, his voice husky from within his sleep and his words barely audible. "Just leave. I don't… want you."

My cheeks once again cascaded red, he didn't want who? Harley? Was this his confession..? Oh I would have given anything to know what exactly he was dreaming of and I found myself laying my hand which was partially risen in the air gently back onto his stomach. A smile appeared on his face, the only feature visible in his position. I smiled to myself and let my eyes slide close as I imagined little scenarios in my head. Despite the chaos of the times I'd had with him and the pains that seemed to erupt with in my body, this was the most relaxed I had felt in years. Nothing seemed to truly bother me anymore. I was untouchable by the outside world. As I lay there, my head nestled on his shoulder lightly I felt lips place gently on my forehead before his arm slid out from underneath me. I could hear him stretch and groan, the slight movement of the mattress signifying that he had risen and the shuffled noises allowing me to envisage he was dressing himself quietly.

Opening my eyes I peered to where I could tell he stood, his muscular slender back facing me as he continued to pull on trousers not yet realising that I was awake. Propping myself up on one arm I smiled to myself rustling my knotted and tangled hair, "I should've known you'd be one to sneak out." I joked. He froze in his spot yet I knew that a smirk would be placed across his lips. He began to turn his head slowly, the black around his bright blue eyes appeared to sink deeper into his skin yet what was more obscure to me was his lips. His lipstick was no longer smothering his mouth and instead only faint traces could be seen – which made me concerned about the amount that was probably printed across my body and face – but instead they were only slightly paler than the next mans. A section of humanity within him that he refused to show.

"Old habits die hard sweet cheeks" he grinned at me turning fully towards me. "We have a big day ahead of us. Get ready." With such few words he left the room, not even mentioning the scenario that had unravelled the night before and I could feel my stomach knot in a panic. I feared I had been used yet could I ever truly put that past the Joker? My mind became unruly with panicked thoughts as I flopped into the pillows below me once again enjoying the luxurious bed that I lay in the middle of. My hands wiped at my face as I blinked at the pale white ceiling trying to find the strength not to be embarrassed and to instead act as though nothing had happened, as though I couldn't be fazed by such trivial events – yet I couldn't deny they most certainly weren't trivial to me, but he didn't need to know that.

Finally I pulled myself from the bed and began to wander around the room, there was a door on the far wall opposite the bed which led to a bathroom. The hot water trailed down my body and I could feel all my muscles relax and any pain I felt left with every drip. When I left the shower the image of myself in the mirror almost made me laugh, there were now only faint marks of where his lipstick had painted itself onto my skin, the cuts across my chest were a dark red thankfully healing despite the Joker's game from last night. Walking into the room once again I found clothes laid out on the bed. I pulled on the black jeans which had rips around the thighs and knees, the top left little to the imagination as it sat off my shoulders and only just cusped the end of my bra as it left my stomach exposed making me feel rather uncovered and intimated – I most certainly wasn't a girl with a size 2 body – and then finally I slipped into a ridiculously high pair of black heeled boots. Their gold buckles and catches for the laces catching my attention before I noticed the familiar small little 'J' embedded on them. Finishing my look I walked out the door, a false sense of confidence consuming me as I knew appearing weak in front of J and his men was a downright bad idea – a sign of insecurity or weakness would only be a way to target you later on.

Many of the men fell silent as I entered the familiar living room of the beautiful apartment, they had been discussing plans and all had numerous papers, guns, and other technology scattered around the large room. The Joker however stood in his own little world gazing out at the city, listening to whatever Shiv had been saying to him. His hands were clasped behind his back as he stood tall in dark suit trousers and a burgundy shirt that rolled up to his elbows, an untied tie around his neck only exposed slightly under the folded collar. Yet as everyone fell silent Shiv glanced my way and muttered a few more words to him, causing the Joker to turn and stare into me as I walked through the room towards him without the slightest hint of fear.

I could see Shiv's revolution in his eyes as he and every other person in that room knew what happened the night before. And yet here J and I stood as though we were just our usual flirty selves as though nothing had occurred.

"So what's the plan for today?" I chirped, taking Shiv's coffee out his hand and taking a sip, leaving a dark red lipstick stain along the rim before handing it back to him. I could see the confusion in Shiv's ever fading innocent face.

The Joker grinned sliding his hand around my waist, "My dear!" I could hear the men in the room begin to resume their work as Shiv awkwardly stepped away awaiting to be useful again. "This is a warm up to our show!"

"Our show?"

"Jester… The world is but a stage" he turned to the large window once again, gazing out at the vast city before him poetically. "The little innocent people down there are our audience, our domino-effect actors. I have a beautiful plan for it all but it can't be complete without _you_ " he turned towards me dotting my nose with his index finger "having a little bit of experience." He grinned, his eyes dancing with excitement and insanity. His teeth gleamed against the daylight and for the first time in quite a while I became nervous at how large an impact his plan could have on our society yet I swallowed my fears.

"Whatever you say, Mistah J."


	23. He Ain't Good, And That Ain't Bad

I was sitting in the back of a black van, his other henchmen dressed in questionable costumes such as pandas, the batman, a clown and so on – I suppose he would do anything to emphasise the quirkiness of his character. My feet bounced on the spot as I sat upright trying to focus on my breathing as I felt nerves crawl up my spine and twinge with the few sane thoughts I had left to numb. There was no denying that I was petrified. I was to sneak out this van and enter the rundown casino to my left which had women barely clothed draped in front of it trying to lure men into the depths of the mob ran business. However, dealing with the troubling men was currently very low on my list of worries considering the seams of my sleek leather jacket were filled to the brim with wires that could explode at any second if they didn't obey orders that would be dictated to me through the little earpiece that had been wrapped along my right ear.

I prayed to the heavens that J wouldn't actually let me die, that even if they objected to his demands that he would never click the button or he would just intervene… I knew I couldn't let myself feel so secure, or I wouldn't put such effort into the situation. Instead I gulped a breath, determined to make him proud, to prove myself to his men and most of all him - that even those with the deepest of innocence can fall to an insane criminal.

His hand suddenly clamped down on my thigh steadying it from its persistent beat, his cold blue eyes continued to stare forward at the black van wall. "Go." He muttered before lifting his hand. The back door of the van flew open and his henchmen angled their legs to the side allowing me a path to the dusk setting outside. As soon as I was out there was no time wasting before the doors slammed behind me, not a mere word in my direction. The fresh air blast against my face, the slight frosty air nipped my cheeks and a faint smile crept across my lips, sadly the serene moment was ruined as a voice in my head rudely interrupted, _'quit daydreaming dollface, you're on business.'_

I could almost imagine his eyes rolling at how slow I was being. My cheeks casted red as I strutted to the casino as confidently as possible, flicking my hair and flirtatiously eyeing men that passed. I slipped in through the front doors and glanced around the room.

The floor was marble, everyone's heels clicking against the pale stone as the sun reflected off it. Numerous tables scattered around the room with various gambling games with skimpily dressed staff attending to the needs of their many customers most of which were men, _drunk_ men. The dull lighting made it impossible to identify the pure colour of any decorations, whether it was the detailing on the ground, or the waistcoats on the bartenders. _'Look for a man to the right, slicked black hair, blue eyes. His shirt should have a 'J' on it'.  
_ I nodded, although immediately wanted to slap myself not knowing whether or not he could see me and such random actions in such a place with uncountable amounts of cameras, it would make me stand out from the crowd as peculiar if I continued to slip up. I began to walk to the right hand side of the room, scanning the many people flooded the area and found two possibilities, two that I couldn't get close enough to in order to determine whether there was the familiar 'J' on his shirt. "Help..." I whispered, not sure if he could hear my own commentary throughout the process.

' _Hold tight pumpkin, he'll recognise you.'_ His voice soothed, goose bumps prickling at the back of my neck as my nerves began to calm themselves. _'Look up'_

My eyes glanced forward and there stood a man with his phone limply in his hand, his face pale against his dark hair as he gulped before nodding in my direction. I began to walk towards him, a smile on my lips as I became unsure of what exactly I was to do. He motioned for me to sit down at the small black circular table he was positioned by. As I began to pace towards him he began to rummage through his leather brief case as his , perspiration building along his forehead as he felt the pressure of the situation get to him.

"Take your time, stay calm" I smiled at the man attempting to reassure him, I for one knew that this situation was by far relaxing. He paused his motions for a moment before huffing a laugh awkwardly and holding his hand out. "I'm sorry, I'm Walt. I've just… never done this before in a place I work in" he continued to laugh nervously as his hand vigorously shook my hand.

' _Jester.'_

"Jester" I repeated obediently. "Now let's get back to business shall we?"

Walt lifted a thick leather folder and several sheets of paper and slid them across the table to me. "Everything should be in there just as he requested."

' _Open the satchel, make sure no one else is looking.'_

My eyes widened just as I did so and I fought with every muscle in my body not to react as I stared at the intimidating gun within the bag.

' _Put the papers in the bag, stand up, pull out the gun and shoot to the ceiling.'_

"J… They have security and emergency but-"

' _Do it.'_ He growled, excitement and anger dancing in his voice.

I glanced into Walt's petrified blue eyes and rose to my feet. The gunshot rung through my ear as screams befell the room, echoing as people flooded to the doors or fell to the floor in fear. Yet slowly men began to rise, cocking their guns and aiming every single one in my direction. Thankfully however Joker's vibrantly dressed goons emerged through the door with large gun of all variety and began to outnumber the men present.

I began to recite the word's Joker spoke through my earpiece, a devious smile evident in his words.

Then it was time to flash the bomb, with shaking hands I moved the jacket as carefully as I could not wanting to trigger it. No one dared shoot me in fear that it would set the bomb off, their eyes having widened or their guns shaking in their hands at the mere sight of it. J had addressed me as a captured innocent, so in killing me they would kill a citizen that had done no harm – or so they thought – resulting the police or worse the bat to be on their case.

One of Joker's men - clad in green trousers, a purple jacket and a black circular head with white jagged teeth painted on - grabbed a women that worked at the casino of the ground and held a gun to her head as his hand slid round her waist dragging her to the vault and snatching a piece of paper out of my hand that contained codes on the way. Something was familiar in the way that he moved, in how his lean body sauntered.

' _Quit staring'_

My cheeks reddened immediately.

' _Follow. Oh and shoot Walt'_.

"J… I-I can't shoot him." I glanced to Walt who shook with fear behind the table I had previously been sat at. His eyes sealed shut as he appeared to count away his anxieties.

' _10…9…8…7…_ '

Tears brimmed in my eyes as I lifted the gun in my hands and pointed directly at the back of Walt's unknowing head. He could feel the stares of others burn into him as he opened his eyes confused before turning to glance straight down the barrel just as the shot rang out.

' _Good girl'_.

The blood pooled across the smooth floor as the hostages gasped and attempted to refrain from screaming as they grasped their mouths in shock. I turned, my body numb from the experience as I continued to blink away the tears that dared to blur my vision.

' _Second door on the left'_

Immediately I began to walk the way the Joker's man had, just as I turned the corner I noticed the woman's body laying limp with her head twisted in an unhuman positon, it was clear he had snapped her neck.

Several bags filled with money and documents scattered the room and as I neared her body I was grabbed from behind, his hands grabbing at my neck and around my waist. I fought and struggled as hard as I could, thankfully just enough to turn around and point the gun point blank at the circular black mask – or where the man's face would be.

His laugh began to echo, not just in my ear but within the vault where we stood. I glanced quickly from side to side, my hand not moving from its target but instead the man before me seemed oddly calm as he leaned his head closer to the barrel of my gun. I began to feel my hand waver.

' _Gonna shoot me, huh?_ _You_ _gonna shoot me?'_ his voice whined, his words seeped with patronisation. The motions of his head as they swayed and bobbed within the mask before my gun taunting me to pull the trigger. Finally he removed the mask and flicked his hair back with such dominance. The sound of sirens began to ring from outside and his eyes glanced momentarily to the small window on the wall outside of the vault before his devilish grin returned to his familiar stance and he gripped my hand which held the gun. Instead of prying my hand away from the weapon he pushed it closer to his face.

"Pull the trigger Jester." He demanded.

"N-No." I began to panic, his hands gripping mine restricted me from any sort of escape out of this situation.

" _Pull_ the goddamn trigger, Jester" his voice growled, his letters spitting venom.

I squeezed my eyes shut shaking my head. "J-"

"PULL IT!"

 _Click_

I opened one eye slowly, he stood there his eyes narrowed with evil as they bore straight to my soul his back hunched to my level ensuring the gun remained neatly positioned between his brow bones. I pulled again, _click_. _Click, click,_ _ **click**_.

I huffed a laugh, before relaxing entirely and laughing as I threw my gun effortlessly to the side. The Joker rose his hand however for one more surprise, a small remote was in his hand and he theatrically waved his index finger over it laughing patronisingly at me. He had me like a puppet on a string as he threatened to press down on the button which would lead to the detonation of my jacket. He began to circle me, his eyes questioning my worth.

"Jester, you've be so _good_!" he emphasised, his voice almost whining with delight at the mere memory of the situation. "But you obviously don't trust me…" he snarled, his words dripping with venom.

"J… don't do this" I whispered, all laughter falling thin as my breath now began to hitch in my throat. The sirens from outside had silenced and instead the rupture of gunfire began to ring through the casino. A grin flashed across his manic face as his eyes widened psychotically.

Of course he didn't listen.

He slammed his finger down on the button as his eyes remained fixated on me. My heart clenched inside my chest and yet again nothing happened. Laughter erupted throughout the vault as he walked away his head shaking, throwing the remote behind him as he lifted the bags filled with money and documents and began to make his escape from the casino. Coming to terms with what had just occurred I ran after him, finding the bags laid upon the floor as J had somehow managed to break the tiny window and crawl through, his hand now motioning to be handed the bags before finally gripping onto my hand and dragging me headfirst through the window. The strength of him undoubtedly impressive at what he had managed to achieve for such a slender man, yet from the previous night it had been entirely apparent that he was very muscular. As the thought crept across my mind a blush flowered upon my cheeks which like every tiny detail was picked up by his hawk-like eyes.

"Care to share those little thoughts deary?" he chirped as he continued to dominate the path to the van, appearing to show no signs of strain from the weight of the bags that were filled to the brim with cash.

Instead I ignored his remark and decided to tell him off instead – peculiar decision when it regards the most renowned psychopath in the world.  
"You gave me two bullets?!" I shouted at him as I tried to keep up with his pace. I received no response yet as he opened the back doors and flung the bags in with a few other men, significantly less than there was beforehand and gunfire was still audible coming from within the building, I could almost hear his eyes roll and a chuffed smile flash upon his lips. " _AND_ you lied about the bomb!" I continued. Again no response as he slammed the back doors shut and began to walk to the passenger side.

"J, what if someone had tried to kill me? I only had _two_ bullets?" by now my words running from my tongue with no filter or control. He opened the passenger door and gripped my hand trying to lead me inside, without thinking I followed the motion of his hand and climbed into the van still complaining at him as he closed the door suddenly, silencing my words.

He slipped into the drivers seat and once again and flashed me grin as silence filled the van, I narrowed my eyes and him and pouted childishly – knowing that even if I had irritated him, my jokey irritation would surely pour some humour into the situation.

Finally he broke the silence as the van roared to a start and he began to manically drive through the streets of Gotham, abandoning his men inside the crime ridden casino. "If you don't stop pouting your face might get stuck like that, didn't your mama never tell you?" he teased giggling away to himself. When he received no response his eyes fell dark and his smile dropped from his face, his breathing seeping through is lips as they automatically appeared to do when he was serious, or vexed. "They didn't shoot you because I _knew_ they wouldn't shoot you, dollface. Like I said, you don't trust me." His voice was seeping through teeth as his words were filled with distaste, his voice higher in certain syllables emphasising his point.

My eyes dropped to my hands as I fidgeted with my thumbs suddenly overwhelmed with guilt, "I'm sorry" I whispered. Finally I tore my eyes away and glanced back at him. His knuckles were paper white against his already pale skin as his clenched and relaxed his grip continuously on the steering wheel, his head would slowly lull from side to side as though he were bored of even the chaotic driving he was partaking in. Finally his eyes fell on me and he appeared uncomfortable, or betrayed.

"I may not be _good…_ but is that so _bad?"_ he teased, before hooting with laughter to himself as his shoulders rose and shuddered with every forced noise.

Slowly I allowed myself to giggle, which seemed to slowly raise the Joker's mood. Yet I couldn't help but realise, regardless of any situation he was in he never appeared truly happy. Every action and laugh he had always had some sense of being forced from his inhuman-human body. My heart ached, what had occurred to make him such a lost soul?


	24. Draped In Red

The rest of the night the Joker and his men fumbled around with work they made very clear I should be excluded from. There was no doubt in my mind I had played my roll well and had proved myself to the men, yet that didn't exactly make me one of them. I was still the untouchable little doll that Joker kept around for his amusement, I began to feel as though they would never have a true conversation with me whenever Joker sent one of his minions my way to keep me entertained. As to why I don't know, but a solemn and dark thought couldn't help but cross my mind – if the Joker did indeed get bored of me, like he had with so many of his other workers and no doubt women, I would be killed. With such a risk hanging over my head I for one knew I wouldn't allow myself to be hurt at the loss of someone around me, I couldn't blame them for doing the same. Anything to prevent a sign of weakness.

Even the façade the Joker and I were now playing to the public, on our little stage of monstrosities, attempted to make it clear that the Joker also now had no weakness – that I was a toy forced to do these actions. A wall was up that had been built brick by cemented brick by the hurt he had obviously felt from Harley. Not to mention she had been used against him innumerable times during Batman's attempts to lure the Joker back to the madhouse. He wouldn't accept it any more.

I sat straight and frigid in the leather sofa, watching the muted TV which had my face broadcasted over every news channel, their lips synching with all the words you could imagine a kidnap victim would be described as. Short clips of the Joker's and I's escape flickered through every channel. My attempt at shooting him in the head their main focus, an act of heroism they presumed. An effort to escape from my personal evil. My eyes trailed to him, he was hunched over a table, his legs rigid as they stood, draped in baggy black trousers emphasising the slenderness of them. His back rounded as his hands had been slammed to the table, the gold rings scattered across them as always. His eyes scanned the paper that his hands held in place, a devious look of concentration shrouding his face as the shadows under his eyes appeared to grow darker as seconds passed. I felt my heart sink and as he appeared to feel the burn of my stare his eyes trailed to me from the corner of their socket. My breath hitched, in his presence it felt as though no matter how many breaths I took, I could never breathe. After a moment of being lost in the grey blue ice iris' I tore my eyes away and slowly lifted my head to continue looking at the TV.

As time passed I bounced my feet repetitively, feeling the plush carpet under my feet appear and vanish over and over again from my actions. Growing tired by the waiting, from the sitting around and doing literally nothing, my frustrations became evident.

His men began to shuffle awkwardly around me, their eyes constantly glancing at me as my fidgeting became restless, my eyes darting across the room in chaos as all I was capable of was staring at the TV or sometimes relish in the enjoyment of eavesdropping in conversations which would distract me from my boredom for mere minutes. Finally I heard the Joker groan in annoyance and began to feel his stare burn into my back. Immediately I sat statue like. His domineering walk heard through every angered footstep before he stood before me, his hands embedded in his pockets as his shirt remained untucked and dishevelled as though a schoolboy relieved to be out his uniform.

" _Dollface_ " his voice whined his head rolling slightly around his shoulders as his eyes followed a similar motion.

I tore my eyes from my hands and slowly looked up, angst and innocence embedded in my face.

"What's wrong? You're somehow managing to scare even _my_ men from just sitting there…" he grinned. "Imagine, these grown murderers terrified of an innocent little girl like you." Giggles escaped through his lips as he attempted to maintain a serious face. His men were silent in the background as they watched from afar, attempting to appear as though they were continuing their work, yet every single man in that room felt embarrassed at their now outspoken fear.

"I-I'm just bored." I mumbled looking back at my hands as a blush cast my cheeks.

My chin was grabbed and titled upwards to demand my eye contact once again.

He sighed, unsure of what to do, as he stared into my soul. With a forceful grip he flicked my head out of my hand before standing to his full towering height, he clicked his left hand and immediately one of his men was summoned beside him. "Finish the work, I have work of my own." The man nodded and the Joker's hand was then stretched out before me, encouraging me to accept his adventure.

It was impossible not to grin at the offer, he had after all abandoned his intricate plans all to keep me entertained. Psychotic idea of romance… I know.

I was shooed to get ready – for what? I wasn't sure, but I assumed the usual revealing yet elegant and beautiful attire was necessary. I found him twisting a small silver and white gun in his hand as he stood next to the door, waiting on me to appear. His mind however appeared to be elsewhere as his head was turned to stare out the large windows in the living room where his men worked, his mouth slightly parted as his deep breathing could be partially heard as the air smacked his metal teeth.

"How do I look?" I asked giggling and posing dramatically in the hallway that his body was faced towards. His head immediately whipped to my direction and he grinned his eyes falling dark with a hunger, he opened his arms and exclaimed dramatically, "Unfathomably delectable". His letters hung in the air like knives.

We waltzed our way outside, into the car and once again he and I seemed like an untouchable pair whose presence struck fear into those most cold hearted. For several nights we continued our old traditions of exercising the control he had over his 'colleagues' as he killed many that disrespected me, and strutted through areas filled with people with me by his side to show his importance over everyone else. Every day more and more pictures of me would be broadcasted and I would slip sly glances at the man that caressed my cheek every night, and despite everything intoxicated me with his danger. Yet I knew something was permanently distracting Joker from his usual self. The times where he would watch me sway on the dancefloor of his club were instead filled with vacant eyes that looked simply in my general direction, grips on my arms as he claimed me from other men applied slightly too much pressure leaving bruises on my skin as though he feared I was going to slip straight through his fingers. His days that used to be spent torturing or enjoying himself with manic crimes were instead he stared at the same sheets of paper day in, day out. No action he committed suggested he wanted rid of me, that my time as his partner was over, but instead it all conveyed the opposite. He was terrified there would be a time I'd leave.

How this was possible was not conceivable in my mind, no matter where I tried to run – if I tried to run – he would have such connections that he could easily find me again. He could keep me here even if I didn't want to. And apparently, regardless of who attempted to take me free of him – there were men that had tried on our date nights out – were welcomed with a bullet between the eyes and not a glance more from him.

I stood in the dark living room, a baggy shirt draped over my body as the world was silent around me. His men were either sleeping or elsewhere. Mr J had retreated to his room – which I hadn't accompanied him to since that fateful night, which the idea of still to this day causes my heart to leap from my chest.

The world before me through the window was magnificent, the scene before me showed that the world never truly slept. Every single person was unbeknown to who was in this flat, many still would not know who I was or worse, would know who I was and didn't realise I was watching from afar. So many complexities of everyone's lives was jumbled together created this magnificent and simple seeming picture before me.

A warmth beside me appeared. "It's awful late for a sweet little girl like you, Jester" his voice croaked from sleep but still the intangible cockiness of his could be heard. I turned my head slightly to the man I've come to adore, his face unreadable as his eyes continued to gaze at the outside world.

"It's beautiful." I whispered, turning back. I received no response. "What are you planning, J?"

"Whatever do you mean?" finally his words was filled with the uncanny amusement that always flooded his voice as it musically left his mouth.

"I know something's about to happen… Something big and you're not telling me."

He began to force a shriek-like laughter before it trailed off and the high pitched noise hung in the air, "there's gonna be fireworks" he grinned his eyes falling dark as he turned his face to mine. His head tilted down slightly to my height, his shoulder's hunching as though an animal preparing to pounce on his prey.

Instead I gazed at him with doe eyes, the monster before me had incomparable beauty. Every motion he made was intimidating, dangerous, vicious, and yet all I could ever see was the elegance, the pantomime, the dance of a madman. My hand rose to his cheek as his hand clamped down over its cold skin. The two of us were hardly distinguishable in the dark room, the sides of our faces merely lightened by the bright lights of the city.

"I'm scared, J."

A grin never left his face, his teeth glinting momentarily. Slowly he leaned down as his feet began to move, a slow dance setting upon us as we swayed before the windows, a twirl and a grab. He pulled me closer to him yet for once, not once was there viciousness. My arm lay lazy along his neck as my other hand settled on his chest. His slow steady heartbeat faint against the palm of my hand it was a reminder that the man before me was in fact human. I didn't have to look to tell that despite his motions, his mind was elsewhere and his eyes glazed over, staring at the wall behind me. I lay my head on his chest, copying his breathes and relishing in the most human experience I had had with him. Nothing had compared, slipping my eyes closed I could almost pretend that he was a normal man, the warmth of his body engulfing me as we swayed romantically in the moonlight. But there was no point in fooling myself, I had become besotted with a madman. A murderer. The blood on his hands would print across my body with every extra moment I spent with him.

And yet… I would rather dance draped in red than not dance with this man at all.


	25. One Bad Day

_A/N: This story will be coming to a close in the next couple of chapters but I hope you have enjoyed! I have thoroughly enjoyed writing it. Also in this chapter I hope you do not mind that it doesn't follow the original story piece by piece and instead I put my own twist on it. Thank you and enjoy!_

I had relished those moments in his arms yet soon I was left cold and alone in the room, he had stated I should go to bed, get some rest. He slinked into the darkness and soon I heard his door slam to a close. I had taken a few final glances to the city before retreating to my own room, on the other side of the hallway from his – as though he were trying to keep me as far from his private area as possible.

I stripped before the mirror. I had lost significant weight since my time with him and my previous curves seemed more structured by bone rather than the smooth edges of my skin, though I still couldn't be deemed 'too skinny' by far. The cuts on my skin had completely healed and the scarring was a pale weight contrasting with my tanned skin, it were as though his bleached skin had fragmented itself into my own. I trailed my fingers over the risen letters as my skin felt electric at the touch, having become more sensitivity from the occurrence.

I slipped back into the shirt and crawled into the luxurious bed, the silk sheets swallowing me as my head sunk into the pillow and the memory foam surrounded me. I lay for what felt like hours staring at the dark ceiling, begging myself to fall asleep and yet in this giant bed I felt empty, alone, restless. Thoughts of stupidity crowded my brain and I could feel unnecessary anxieties beginning to haunt me. I wrestled with myself, twisting and turning as I grabbed my hair and soothed my forehead attempting to be rid of the ideas and headaches. Finally I had had enough, my body was exhausted and yet my brain continued to run. I needed a distraction.

I sat upright and flicked my feet off the bed and onto the cold laminate wood floor. The coldness of the ground providing automatic relaxation to my state yet it still wasn't enough. I fumbled to the door and without thinking my actions through I found myself tapping lightly on J's door with my index finger, my nail making a knock that was barely audible. Yet the door clicked. Of course he had heard.

He leaned against the door frame as he partially opened his door, his bare long slender torso engulfing my sight as my eyes once again danced along the numerous tattoos that covered his body.

"What?" he growled, obviously not pleased at having been woken. "I thought I told you to go _sleep_ , Jester." His teeth gritted slightly, the metal clinked.

"I can't sleep, J. Can I come join you?" I pleaded quietly. His eyes rolled before he opened the door further, I slipped under his arm and stood before his bed as he closed the door and turned to face me. Immediately I felt the need to cheer up the situation, everything at the moment seemed to have a dark demeanour. "Now, no funny business Mr J, this has to be purely professional. I _am_ your employee after all" I winked before giggling. He couldn't help but stifle a laugh himself as he walked straight towards me, his hand gripped a fistful of hair.

"Say… Didn't I claim you as _mine?"_ his eyes were hungry, his grip in his hair tightening as he continued to scrunch it further. I whimpered slightly and then smiled, biting my lip and gazing into his eyes.

"I believe the ownership is reciprocated, Joker. Remember you can't have a Joke without a Jester…" in a split second my voice had gone from girly to sultry.

"Or a Jester without a Joke." His mouth met mine and we allowed our lips to fight and dance together with passion and I felt complete once again. However it was all over far too soon.

"Get into bed." He demanded. I toyed and joked with his demand yet he showed no interest in what I had thought he was proposing. Instead he sat down at a desk across the room, his body angled half to slightly to the bed as he positioned himself in front of stacks of papers it appeared he had been scribbling on. "Now go to sleep."

"Hardly helpful…" I muttered, not fully intending for J to hear.

He laughed as a demonic grin set upon his red lips that appeared almost black in this light. The veins that had always been slightly risen in his pale skin seemed more translucent and his green hair more electric than other. "And what would you like me to do about that, dollface?"

"Tell me a story…" I pondered for a moment. "Explain why you took me to that warehouse, what would happen to me if I had of fallen into that vat?"

He sighed slamming his pen back down on the table, instead he sauntered over to the bed and lay above the covers before me, crossing his arms over his chest causing the muscles to bulge slightly.

"You'd be like _me"_ he grinned his hands waving across his body before returning to their previous position.

"Why did you end up in there?" I questioned further. He shifted uncomfortably as his mouth hung slightly open, he breathing seething at whatever was crossing his mind.

"It was a _long_ time ago dollface… and one **bad** day."

*Flash Back 3rd person*

The evening was bleak, the sudden nightfall swamped black making streets barely visible through the shards of rain that fell. The lean man shook violently from the cold, his tight black suit sticking to his skin as he waited at the corner of the fencing. His hand slipped through his brown hair, sleeking it back from his eyes that were burning red from tears that he fought with every ounce.

 _His wife_

A dagger stabbed through his heart.

 _His child_

Instead his heart ripped through his chest.

And still there he was, a poor man distraught with the events of life waiting on a lonely dangerous street corner for gangsters he only had to associate with for one reason. The one reason that no longer existed. He had never been the wealthiest, it had been his greatest hate about himself as he wished so strongly that he could have supported his family as an honest man. To not follow his father in his footsteps of gang crime and mobster deals. But instead it seemed he had hit rock bottom, he no longer had a family, someone to care for or a purpose of living, and he was now about to commit a crime he didn't want to take part in. A crime he'd now gain nothing from.

"Oi pretty boy" a man shouted through the weather, his voice barely audible through the stinging wind.

His head tilted up, blue eyes gleaming in contrast to his dark hair. He was indeed known as the pretty boy comedian – even if that was the one reason people ever knew of his shows. He began to stalk towards the portly man who stood beneath a black umbrella, two men behind him puffing on cigarettes. The closer he approached the more he noticed the symbolic mask gripped in the man's hand hanging by his side – the red hood.

"This is yours boy" it was slammed into his chest and yet at his tall stature he didn't move, causing the chubby man named Pierro to gruff as though to hide his jealousy.

"I just get you in there, right?" he asked slipping the mask on and twisting it slightly so he could see through the red lenses.

"Aye aye, just in." Pierro turned quickly to his other men cutting the conversation short, the lack of organisation making his tensions run high.

The men chuckled and made quick remarks to one another, their accents and hushed voices made it impossible for him to hear what they could say, his only assurance was that they didn't glance his way.

"Aight, aight. It's time to go!" the man laughed before waving his hand towards the gate.

He grumbled beneath his breath before gripping the large metal pole that connected all the netted wires. With continuous yanks he slowly managed to move the fence across the ground and create a gap for the men to slide through. As he began to walk forward towards the dark looming warehouse before him he heard two men behind him begin to close the gate, despite his desperate sudden objections which were muffled by the mask they didn't stop. His nerves were causing his hands to shake, he shoved his hands in his pockets in order to not show the men his fear - there was now no swift way to escape.

He slid open the large wooden door, the vile warehouse before him still in its pristine condition just as it had been when he had been working there. The men walked past him as he sighed to himself, thinking that if he hadn't of left this job none of this would have occurred. Instead he would be at home, in bed with his wife, happy.

His heels clinked on the cement floor as one of the men began to whistle, weaving in and out of the machinery before finally all resulting up behind him.

"Jeez boy, how much further?" one of the men whined.

"It's just straight then to the le-" his voice was interrupted by the shattering of one of the sky lights as it caved in with the force of a human bat. Water poured through the gap with the falling shards of glass as the batman slammed to the ground behind the group of men. Immediately rounds of gun fire rang through the warehouse as he panicked, he was in no way able to defend himself and he most certainly wasn't capable of fighting off the batman – nor did he want to. He had seen on the news what he had done to people.  
As the men continued to blast their bullets at the bat who easily deflected them and proceeded to repulsively abuse them he ran. His only escape was to slide in and out of the machinery and head directly upstairs, there was another stair case that would lead to the front door and if he were lucky he would get there in just enough time. But inevitably just as he reached the ledge which had the control panels that allowed the vats below to be filled and the stairs just in front of him the bat slammed to the floor before him.

"It's over red hood" the bats gruff automated voice boomed through an obvious voice enhancer on the bats neck. The initial shock caused him to hit bump into the machinery and liquid began to spill into the vat.

He hesitated, stepping back as the mask became clouded with condensation from his panicked gasps. But with every step he took backwards it was mimicked by a step closer by the bat. Slowly he raised a batarang, threatening him as his wavered in his motions.

"I-I" he stuttered and tried to take a step further but instead was welcomed by a large fist to the mask, the red hood cracking and revealing his now bruised and bloodied face. In his jolt backwards his body lost control as he tripped and fell into the wooden railing. It cracked under his weight as he finally regained his sight he only just managed to grip onto a spare plank of wood left hanging over the ledge. With the other free hand he slipped the red hood off and threw it to the ground watching as it smashed just mere inches away from the full vat below.

"B-Batman!" he called, plead in his voice and panic in his eyes as he tried to reach with his other hand for the platform.

The bat appeared on the edge, his black boot stepping over the tip of his fingers which were the only ways that kept him hanging. He shrieked in pain as he felt them break and yet under the weight of the muscular man before him he couldn't fall.

"Help me. Please?!" He begged.

"Why did you do these crimes? What do you want?" the batman asked, not a spark of remorse on his face as he watched him writhe in pain and fear.

"I-I'm not the red hood" he attempted to explain but this was evidently the wrong response. Batman lifted his toes slightly and with his broken fingers he was incapable of holding on. He plummeted to the floor below. But instead of the crunching of his bones upon the concrete ground his body was engulfed in green toxic liquid. He tried as he could to swim but found every movement he made he sank deeper. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe. Within seconds he lost all consciousness.

The bat had tried to drain the vat, not intending to kill the man but simply fear him. If dangling from the edge of the platform wouldn't provide answers then at least falling from one would scare sense into him. But as the vat drained his body was swallowed also.

Within minutes of having entered the vat he was instead dumped into a nearby lake. His lungs gasping for air at the sudden freezing cold water as his eyes shot open. Every inch of his skin burned in agony, his hair itched and his muscles seized. What was happening to him?! But overall he felt numb from emotion. He was no longer sad, no longer depressed. His heart didn't ache and instead as he felt the rain patter down onto his sodden body, his eyes gazing at his new reflection as he stood hunched in the lake he laughed. The anger he felt towards the men that had killed his wife, his child; the anger he felt towards the men that worked for the red hood; the anger he felt towards the bat… It all infatuated his brain and he knew now what he wanted. He refused that someone would now ever have power over him, he would own the world. And he'd kill anyone that stood in his way.

He had trudged for hours along a dark road, his white shirt sticking see-through to his now bleached white skin. He found himself incoherently grunting from time to time, his brain running mad with ideas and hate. He had taken a few stops along the way, snapping a few necks with no hesitation and instead deep satisfaction, stripping them of their weapons and instead hiding it within the rim of his trousers – though it was hardly covered by the shirt which he had tried to drape over the handles – but finally he had ended up outside the horrid bar which had resulted for him to be in this situation in the first place.

He gritted his teeth, his breathing seething through the gaps as he hobbled forwards towards the door. Men stared as he entered, detested by his look. His green hair electrifying even in its sodden condition, his icy skin haunting to all persons. Women turned away in fear as men hushed their voices. Regardless if they knew if he was a threat or not they didn't want to take no chances with a man who appeared like that.

Without a doubt or hesitation he swaggered straight to the men surrounding a circular table. Their eyes cast upon his inhuman figure as he approached, his deathly cold stare fixated on the man in the middle.

"Is that _you?"_ The man almost began to laugh but without a second more, he pulled a gun and shot the man directly between the eyes.

Slowly a laugh began to vibrate in his chest, an unusual noise that was foreign to his ears. A laughter of insanity and madness that chilled the men in there to their bones. "Anybody else want to join him? _Want a laugh?"_ he crouched to a man before him who was now sat beside the dead body, his voice patronising as though imitating a baby. "No?" he shook his head yet his gaze never left the hard mans face. "NO?!" He shrieked.

"No." the man replied forcing the word out.

" _Good_. Good." He stood upright, "Now! You can all call me … Mr J. Or Joker if you so like." His arms opened as he turned on the spot as though addressing a theatre audience. One man stifled a laugh and attempted to object, but Joker rose a gun and pulled the trigger.

Bang.

Silence.


	26. Passion in Jealousy

I knew he had told the story to me with pieces of the puzzle missing. The entire time he spoke with a vacant face. His eyes lost in memories as I hugged the duvet, my body turned towards him as he stared to the other side of the room. His words were cold, the story was short and simple and focused primarily on how the man we was before was dead. There was not an ounce of him left and instead he was now the beautiful sinner laying frigid in bed beside me. He was now the Joker.  
He thrived explaining how he had gone from that man in the river to dominating the crime industry of Gotham, governing gangs and killing rivals that refused to obey his rules, a sadistic smirk casting across his face at the mere idea.

Small giggles left his lips as he recalled the numerous murders and his tale came to a finish. My eyes scanned his face, his eyes void of emotion yet the smile that spread across the red smeared lips appeared haunting on his pale face. I propped myself up on one arm sliding to almost his height as his eyes glanced down at me. I raised my fingers and allowed them to limply trail along a scar that tainted his porcelain cheek. "What a charming bed time story" I murmured with amusement in my voice.

His hand engulfed mine and yanked it from his face, he brashly rose to his feet and sauntered over to his desk once more, a small "get to sleep" falling from his lips as he began scribbling frantically on the papers before him.

When I awoke he was nowhere to be found and his men flooded the flat with so many guns and various other weapons and ammunition that could supply a small army. I was left to my own devices, allowed out in partial moments of his distraction – not being able to escape the public eye unless buried beneath various accessories – and was able to contact Jane to let her know I was alive and sane – partially.

The days that passed Shiv would accompany in most of my outings, he was the only person I was capable of having a normal conversation with it seemed. Yet it was undeniable that even he, despite how apparent it was that the life inside him was slowly dying out, was terrified of what was to come.

"Shiv" I stopped in my tracks, the biting cold nipping at my cheeks as snow lightly fell around us, "I'm not oblivious to everything that's happening and yet you, you _all_ , continue to baby me and prevent me from finding out what the hell is going on."

Shiv had the intention of continuing to walk and ignore my query, his hands embedded in his suit trouser pockets as he bunched his shoulders trying to protect himself from the cold as his body was wrapped in a large black overcoat. "It's nothing. I wouldn't worry your pretty little face." He mumbled taking a further step. My hands grabbed at his jacket, pulling him back and turning him towards me. His eyes rolled as he huffed a white puff of his breath into the cold air.

"Shiv, tell me." I begged, my grip not releasing him.

"I can't say. You're not wrong in believing there's something about to happen – and sooner than you can imagine. And it's going to be big, and terrifying, and just… messy." His gloved hand slipped from his pocket and restlessly ruffled his hair in angst. "If I were you I'd try and get out of it as soon as you can, Jess. It's dangerous and J… I know you aren't gonna wanna hear this but J isn't going to save you. He's _evil,_ Jess. He'll throw everyone else under the bus and in front of the bullet before he sends himself in."

"Don't" I whispered.

"Jess, he's not go-"

"DON'T!" I demanded. Shoving my fistfuls of his coat back at him before continuing to walk down the street.

I heard him sigh before the familiar clicking of his shoes echoed off the pavement and his tall stature was once again situated by my side.

The rest of the day his words haunted me. Whenever the pale murderer was in the same room I found myself analysing his every move, questioning if it could all be indicated as proof to what Shiv had said. His eyes would trail to mine occasionally, discomfort apparent on his face as his body moved awkwardly whenever he felt my criticising stare upon him. Slowly it was just Shiv, J, and I in the living room.

J twisted and twirled his cane between his legs as Shiv appeared to make final touches to whatever plan the two had been drafting out.

"Doll face" J's voice called across the room, his body upright in an armchair in the corner of the room, his position imposing on Shiv's work with scrutinising surveillance. My eyes rose to his from the book that I had been using as a prop – pretending to be besotted in the story being told on the pages. He flicked his cane up, the end of it pointing directly at me before he swiftly motioned it back to its positon, indicating his demand for my movement.

I leapt to my feet, flicking the book behind me and onto a seat as I seductively ambled towards him. His arms shifted to the sides as he opened his lap to me, I giggled falling into place. I sprawled across him, my legs flipping over the arm rest as though a child on a throne. Joker's twisted smile and his grilled teeth beamed, a hand of his slipped to the nape of my neck, his fingers delving into my brown hair or tracing my spine. His fingers begin to wrap around the nape of my neck, his entire hand almost engulfing it as his fingers tightened. I tried as I could to hide the discomfort as Shiv's face contorted for a split second in mere disgust.

"Oh my boy! Don't pull that face" J began to cackle, his grip on my neck never faltering. "Did your mama never told you it'll get stuck?"

"Sorry sir" he grumbled in response. J's laughter rose, "Oh you're being _so_ intense… my, my…" he began to shove me off of his lap and I slid into the armchair as he rose to a stand-still beside Shiv's seated position.

"What has got young Shiv's tongue in such a twist?"

Shiv froze and gave no response, the Joker's tone may be playful but his words were seeping with venom - one wrong move and the snake would bite. The noise of a knife flicking open clicked behind Shiv's ear and J began to trail patterns in Shiv's cheek without piercing the skin. "You aren't jealous… are you?" J teased.

"J-" I tried to stop him but he held up a hand to silence me. The last thing I wanted was for Shiv to now get hurt. J whipped his head to me and with a purple gloved hand motioned his index finger in a movement which indicated for me to rise to my feet. With hesitation I slid off the seat and stood to my full petit height, my bare feet twisting on themselves as my fear heightened for Shiv.

"Look at her" J motioned to me. Shiv unwillingly rose his head from the papers on the table and turned in his seat to face me - viewing the entirety of me as I was draped in a baggy white t-shirt stained with black and red makeup and dark skinny jeans.

J's face contorted with jealousy, he bent down so he was ear to ear with Shiv. Two pairs of eyes lay upon me, Shiv's filled with boredom and the tiniest light of fear, and J's with the familiar dangerous hunger. "Doesn't she just drive you crazy?" he enthused, his hands gripping Shiv's shoulders and massaging them as the knife lay tucked under his thumb.

"No"

" _No?_ "

"Mr J…" I whispered, the awkwardness growing by the second. "I'm going to head to bed, if you want to join?" I teased, attempting to lighten the room and distract J from whatever monstrosities he was planning to inflict upon Shiv. A smirk flashed across his lips as he stood, a growl in his voice as he hummed to himself. He slipped the knife into his pocket and Shiv noticeably relaxed as I smiled flirtatiously at the Joker, relieved at the immediate distraction. Yet just as I went to walk to J with open arms he suddenly gripped a fist full of Shiv's blonde locks and slammed the side of his head in a forceful motion against the table.

I gasped in shock as Shiv yelped in pain before falling unconscious, the paper beneath his head tainting red with the blood from the force.

"He'll be fine" J nudged his shoulder and sure enough Shiv's deep breathes became clear after the jolt. He then outstretched his purple clad hand and led me to our room, the faint words of "let's hope he's one to go tomorrow" grumbled under his breath as though talking to himself.


	27. Greater The Love, Greater The Chaos

It was the day. Instead of the hussle and bussle that had been reoccurring previously the apartment was now dead. I stood at the familiar large windows and stared outside before turning to face the packages on the table that had ' _Jester´_ scrawled across a card that was placed atop the parcels in haunting handwriting. I pulled out the pieces of fabric and found an outfit fit for a queen of jesters.

I pulled on the skin tight sheen trousers, the colour of dark dried blood that clung to every curve of my body. The side seems embellished with gold and black studs that rose to my belt line. The plain black tank top which draped over the provided green underwear had embroidered card symbols over my heart. Finally the short leather jacket that cut off just below my breasts accentuated my hourglass figure and were in conjunction with my trousers were studded with gold. The sky-high heels of similar red and black gained numerous inches to my height and as I stared at the finished masterpiece that was myself in the mirror I was barely identifiable as the girl in the club. That night now felt like a past life, as though it had occurred an eternity ago.

"You ready?" Shiv asked, appearing as though out of thin air as he found me stood gazing at my reflection in wonder. It was now only he and I in the apartment, the entire building felt silent as I knew I was now to brave not only the harsh winter which had fallen upon Gotham early – be it only the month of November – but also whatever J had planned.

"Never readier" I stated before finally turning towards him and leaving. As we waited on the elevator I glanced once more at the window and out to the dark skyline of the city. Despite the hundreds of city lights which gleamed like stars on the horizon and the undoubtable feelings J had somewhere within himself for me, I knew none of this would be enough to warm his heart and from the pit of my stomach I knew it would be a long time before I would ever feel like the queen of Gotham again. The old Jessica begged Jester to avoid what was about to unfold, to run away and start anew or to return to the humble boring life I led before. After all no one would question considering I had been portrayed as a victim the entire time, though my reoccurring public appearances had made many question why I didn't escape at that time – though not one person offered to help me but instead had avoided my path at all costs and instead observed me from afar.

"I can still get you out of this, Jess." Shiv said, sadness in his voice as his cold eyes stared ahead as we walked towards the black four by four. Sliding into the passenger seat I shook my head, though words were struggling to be formed in my mouth from fear.

"I trust him." I stated blandly, as though trying to convince myself never mind Shiv.

"You shouldn't."

That was the last of the conversation Shiv and I had before we arrived in the centre of Gotham city. Though our car appeared conventional to the unknowing citizens on the street, I couldn't help but notice the many other identical cars scattered around the same streets and those that we had driven through on our way here. J truly had an army for whatever he was attempting.

Shiv began to rummage through a bag that was handed to him from a man in the back seat, pulling out guns and ammunition before quickly cocking it and staring at his watch, counting down by the second.

My stomach knotted, my mind unsure of anything I was to do as soon as I left this car – if I was to leave this car. Finally he nodded to the men and suddenly their doors flew open and immediately gun shots filled the air and the screams of citizens masked the Christmas vibe which Gotham had been radiating since the first snow fall.

"Get out." Shiv demanded before sliding out his own door. I obeyed and stood in the middle of the street surrounded by Jokers men who for once were unmasked and all suited in black. Shiv suddenly grabbed my arm and began to drag me towards a building across the street, his gun blazing at anyone who crossed his path as sirens began to radiate through the streets as the police – and undoubtedly the bat – rushed to the scene.

The frosty cold was unfelt on my cold skin as I watched bodies fall to the ground in their attempts of escape, the building which we were headed towards had hundreds of people flooding out the doors – the lucky ones that escaped.  
As we approached, the few left leaving fell to the ground before me as blood began to splatter on my face and my stomach contorted with sickness. Perhaps I wasn't as insane as once imagined.

"Get to the top floor." I was pushed into a lift alone and as the doors closed I saw police begin to file in, Shiv's blank face showing no signs of fear as he was faced with the possibility of death.

As the irritating elevator music played in the background my mind ran with thoughts. There was no going back to my normal life now and I knew I was now in the position of making a choice. To kill or be killed. My mind had been so exposed with the truth of society there was nothing left to turn to other than the defence of carefree insanity. He had made me feel a part of him, of his mind, that was something larger than I could have ever imagined beforehand and somehow it made me more alive when others would turn in fear. After all, in some versions Satan was an angel.

The doors opened into what appeared to be an apartment, J sat lazily waving his gun in his hand in a seat opposite the elevator. At the sight of me he grinned, a grin that confirmed my choice and made my heart leap. Suddenly all thoughts of doubt and empathy escape and I lunged towards the man who had recreated me. My arms flung around his neck as he had risen to my arrival and I smacked my lips against his in a messy greeting.

He could feel his heart in chest, a feeling he hadn't had in such a long time. Nerves brimmed us yet I was still kept in the dark as to what was about to occur.

"I have a lot planned for us, doll face" he grinned.

"And what would that be exactly, Mr J?" I beamed.

"Oh this is a date night like no other! I do believe it's time for some fireworks" he grinned and began to lead me over to a balcony. I stood waiting in the cold as he reappeared with a phone in his hand. He began to call short numbers and every number he called would create a large explosion across the city. Fire would tear into the sky and smoke would bellow. It happened continuously, one just streets away from the next as though it were creating a circular safe haven for the two of us. I stood in awe, the fire and smoke fighting with the ever falling snow was miraculous as the flames grew higher and buildings collapsed. We were so high that any beings on the streets were undetectable, or at least weren't distinguishable as humans but instead as ants.

The elevator doors pinged throughout the rooms and the Joker immediately grabbed the gun from his holster that was slung over his shoulders, his personalised gun aimed out the door as he pushed me further onto the balcony and hid me in the shadows behind him. Police and media helicopters attempting to circle the building yet grenades were shot at them from someone on the roof and I would watch as fireballs of metal fell from the sky. The scene outside was as though I were watching the fall of humanity, the start of Armageddon.

"J?!" Shiv called through the room as the sound his footsteps could be heard hustling through the large floor that consisted of numerous rooms. Still J held his gun high, not taking chances that Shiv was not alone. Finally he came into view and J lowered his gun as Shiv rose his hands, signalling that he was unarmed. "They're dealt with down stairs. Everyone's covering exits I just came to make sure nothing had occurred up here. Nice explosions by the way." Shiv complimented as J slid his gun back into the holster and walked straight past him and wandered through the other rooms checking that no one had followed. Paranoia was setting in within this madman and entwining with the other mental issues he had, the true psychotic was becoming evident as he enjoyed and feared the events unfolding.

"Well there you have it, maybe I was wrong. Even a psychopath like him knew your worth and was about to kill someone else rather than let you just be killed." Shiv nonchalantly stated yet his words were so bland it was evidently covering other emotions.

"Go do your tasks" J stated as he appeared in the room once more and I sought the heat of the inside, closing the balcony doors behind me.

Shiv swiftly left and once more I was left to my own devices with J. At all other times I would have been anxious yet excited in this position, thriving for some insanity that he would display passionately towards me and yet today he wasn't himself.

He walked towards me and slipped one of the guns out the holster and folded my hands over it. "You use this. Kill everyone. Anyone." He grinned, insanity conquering all else in his eyes before he grabbed the back of my head and slammed my lips to his.

The desperateness in his kiss made me melt, as our lips moved it was as though unspoken words were being said. The bite on my lip a pleading for more, the slow movements an apology, the tight grasp a goodbye.

I rose my hands to his chest and pushed him away slightly, just enough that our lips left each other's and I gazed at the man before me. He was no longer a monster like everyone else knew him as, to me he was a lost beautiful, intricate soul. Our games and love of chaos and murder were filled with fun and excitement, the abuse and fights and jealousy all outweighed by the passion and need that filled us as we both contested in this sickening love affair with madness. His red lips were smudged, the black circles around his eyes like black holes as his blue eyes shone like crystals. His green hair more electric than ever and perfectly in place.

"What's going to happen J?" I asked.

"For once… I don't know" he smiled, despite the amount of organisation that he had evidently put into this plan, detailing intricacies that were unbeknownst to people such as myself, the outcome was never determined. The uncertainty of the result driving J further, igniting the fire that already thrived within him and turning it into a bomb.

"Don't leave me." I begged, my mouth so close to his our lips brushed each other's with every syllable.

"That fate's up to the gods…"

As soon as the words left his lips the elevator doors opened once again and the balcony windows smashed from behind us, glass shattering against my back as J flung me into the next room with him as gunfire burst throughout the apartment. But I felt a stinging, an excruciating burning radiating from my thigh and calf as a cold wet liquid seeped down my leg and stained my trousers.

My vision began to pulse as the pain grew, I leaned against a table, unable to put weight fully on my leg as J shot through the doors. The noise of gunfire and men falling from behind the door to their deaths covering my agonised breaths. I stretched my hand down to the area that pulsated with pain and felt my hand become wet. I stared down at my hand, the darkness of the room making it difficult to make anything out. But that familiar scent of iron filled my lungs and I saw the familiar red liquid cover my hand.

"J…"


	28. To Rats, Bats are Angels

The gunfire silenced and I knew that the time between more police arriving would be minimal. Joker hadn't yet noticed my injuries or whimpers echoing from the corner as he pulled out a phone and turned the room lights on.

He began to mutter angrily down the phone, I could hear Shiv's feeble responses as gunfire echoed in the background. It was made clear that such a situation was not to happen again, J was waiting on the bat.

I gasped again as suddenly the pain became unbearable. Now capable to look at the wounds it was evident that the bullets had sunk deep within my thigh and calf. Thankfully the blood flow had slowed yet my trousers and hands were smothered with the iron smelling substance. His eyes flashed to me as he heard my cries of pain being muffled as I bit my lip, attempting to seal my mouth closed and hide any traces of the anguish.

His eyes rolled in their sockets as he sighed, his irritation evident as he stalked to my side. Grasping my hands and covering his pastel skin in my blood - anger smothered his face, he was not concerned, he was not worried or upset, he was angry. The look upon his face made it appear as though he would hunt and kill anyone in his way and I knew he felt there was no time to deal with such inconveniences as injuries.

He flipped his knife out and began to slice my trousers and ripped holes into the fabric uncovering the true extent of the punctures. Without a second glance he began to rip at his red shirt – which I hadn't noticed until now matched my outfit. The scraps of fabric he created he tied tightly around my leg, attempting to limit the blood loss.

I seeped my breath through my teeth as he yanked, pulling the fabric tighter and tighter before finally knotting it. "There, you'll be all pretty and perfect in no time, Jester. What's a battle without its scars?" he teased giggling to himself.

He slipped his arm under my own, gripping my shirt as he lifted me, his arm under my leg shifting it slightly causing inextinguishable screams to erupt.

He lay me on a couch, as he himself then lifted my torso and slid underneath me, my head laying on his lap as he used his gun to twirl my hair.

"Am I going to die?" I questioned, feeling my face grow pale and hands cooled drastically by the second. I stared at my skin which had lost its vibrant olive tan, instead I was becoming an unhealthy grey, bruise like circles casting my skin as I tried to grip onto consciousness.

He hooted in laughter, his blood stained hands swiping hair off my forehead creating a smear of blood. "Don't be so _dramatic_ " he hissed through ha's and he's. "You'll just be a little… ditzy till we fix you" he stated optimistically, yet the anger was still haunting his face, a pang of concern flashing in his eyes every time he noticed the continuous spillage of blood that tried to seep through the makeshift bandages.

There was another ping at the door and Shiv burst through the room, facing down a cocked gun that the Joker had instantaneously pulled out. In his hand a black battered bag. He rushed to our side, his face in horror as he saw me. He kneeled to my side and began unpacking numerous pieces of equipment all packed to fix my wounds. I rose my hand, a faint smile on my face and as it shook I tried to ruffle his hair.

"You're adorable when you're worried" I joked giggling to myself before coughing abruptly. He caught my shaken hand and slid an injection into my veins. I could feel the liquid leak into my body as suddenly pain began to fade. Whatever concoction they introduced to my body it worked faster than any medical drug you could receive in hospitals.

A grin casted over J's face as he felt my body instantly relax, "Well look at you, aren't you a fighter dolly. Making your man proud!" He patted my head patronisingly. Shiv worked quickly on my recovery, though I was now incapable of feeling any pain and instead felt as though I could run marathons.

"Done. How do you feel?" Shiv queried standing once again and repacking his bag.

"Perfect" I grinned, the contents of the injection made me feel drunk, my mind fogged with mere pleasantries and giggles involuntarily fell from my lips.

"Good!" J declared, standing abruptly causing me to rise and fall hard against the couch, all affections vanishing instantaneously. He clapped his hands together and began talking business with Shiv, most of what they were discussing I couldn't understand, random codes being assigned to destinations and different acts that were torturing the city made it difficult to translate. As I attempted to get up J's cold eyes watched my every move, any waver in my steps he tensed as though preparing to catch me if I fell. I tried with might to apply pressure on my leg, yet it felt so numb that it would fold and I would collapse to the floor. Balancing myself off of numerous objects I made my way to the door. As I slid into the next room it was hardly identifiable to the beauty that it had been previously.

Glass was scattered across the floor, blood cascaded across the walls and stained the fabric as dead bodies lined the floor. It was impressive that J had managed to kill these men from being in the other room and remained unscathed – the same could not be said to me.

Despite the horrific surroundings that would send the normal citizens of Gotham screaming, as I once had, I instead relished in the peacefulness that flooded the apartment with only faint noises of gunfire in the air.

Yet this was not something I had the delight of becoming used to. Another ping of the elevator and a nervous man strode out alone – bad choice. I flicked my gun up – which had been wedged in my waistline – and cocked it aiming it at the innocent appearing police man. His hand shook as we remained in lock, each barrel faced to one another's head. His eyes cast down my legs, seeing the amount of blood that now stained it. "Lower your gun" I stated. How J and Shiv didn't hear the elevator was beyond me.

"Jessica… I'm here to help. Put the gun down and come with me" he stated, his voice wobbled in fear as his eyes darted from place to place terrified that J would appear.

"No." I replied.

"Please, I don't want to shoot. You're innocent and we can get you out of here just _please_ come with me." He begged.

"J!" I screamed and the man froze, his body frigid from the threat as the door beside me swung open and J's domineering stance remained in the door way. His eyes fixated like a predator on the policeman.

Soon his cackle filled the apartment, his laughter chilling everyone to the bone as any sanity left within him vanished. Thinking back I was ignorant in my actions, grinning at him as he wandered through the doors and refusing to acknowledge Shiv's previous warnings. I truly believed that J adored me, that he wouldn't harm me. Yet I shouldn't have been so stupid as to assume I could get in the way of anything he wanted.

The policeman's gun turned to the Joker, no longer seeing me as a pending threat in comparison despite J remaining unarmed.

"Ain't you a **brave** man" the intimidation was getting to the police man, his blinking becoming uncontrollable as it was obvious he was panicking in his mind. J didn't hesitate as he strode out of the door way and to my side. "Gun" he demanded holding his hand out, ignoring the man's shaking hands as his gun was pointed directly to J's head.

Obeying his orders I lowered my gun and handed it to him. In a sudden swift motion J grabbed me and held me in front of him, his hand gripping my neck as his other pointed the gun to my temple. "Make your move, cop."

The man's hand shook, perspiring as he bit his lip attempting to point the gun directly at J with the intention of missing me. I saw the man move his finger to the trigger, preparing to pull it as he felt comfortable with his aim.

I tensed suddenly becoming aware this could easily kill me.

"Shhh…Sh… Jester… Stay still or you'll get yourself hurt. He won't do anything if you just don't mo-"

I refused to pay attention to the advice J was whispering in my ear. I was terrified. I moved with a jolt and a shot rang out just missing the side of my face as J cackled yet the anger in his voice unmaskable.

"Another shot like that and you'll get one in the back of your head mister…" J titled his head, indicating at the man to look behind him where Shiv stood with a gun pointed.

The man stared and didn't move from his position yet made no motion to want to pull the trigger again. In all honesty I was unsure as to why Shiv nor J had shot a bullet at the man.

"Now, dollface… You better not damn move. You have to obey the orders." He growled in my ear as I felt his hand on my neck tighten in threat.

"Sorry, Mister J" I whimpered, my entire weight split between my uninjured leg and the slanted lean against his body as I hovered my injured leg above the floor.

A flurry of black flashed before my eyes and I could hear Shiv begin to scream as he was suddenly nowhere in sight. J laughed manically, practically bouncing with excitement as his fingers began to drum on my neck with exhilaration.

"Put the gun down, Brendon." A gruff voice called as a dark bat silhouette emerged behind the police man.

"And let them get away? Bats you're crazy"

"You'll shoot her. Do you really want that on your conscious?" Batman argued.

"Sounds like you've been told, _Brendon_ " J teased howling in laughter as he rolled his head back for dramatic effect.

"No."

Brendon pulled the trigger once more and batman pushed him to the side sending the bullet once again mere inches from my face. Joker hooted as he began to drag me away with him to the next room but before we could even get to the doorway a batarang sliced J's hand. The gun fell to the floor and he gasped dropping me suddenly.

Blood spilled across his pale hands, covering his gold rings as I thumped to the floor. He growled and tore his eyes away from his hand and glared at the bat. Destruction in his eyes as he gritted his teeth, a manic grin spreading. "OH Batsy, batsy, batman. You should _**not**_ have done that." Without a second more J flipped out his knife and threw it at batman, his precision in his aim hitting one of the select few weak spots in his armour and embedding itself in his shoulder.

I attempted to stretch my arm to grab the gun but the batman was fast and swift, though I was certain he still didn't know my intentions or which side I was routing for he kicked the side of my head knocking me unconscious.


	29. The King Of Hearts

When I awoke my head throbbed and I was sprawled across the blood stained carpet. I could hear J's shrieks of laughter as he threw insults at the bat. My eyes fluttered open as I pushed myself up with one arm, swiping my hair off my face with the other. J was trapped in the bats arms, blood smeared across the both of them from the fight the two had previously engaged in. J's bare torso scattered in bruises as knives protruded from the bat, one embedded in each shoulder making the batman show anguish and agony as he wrestled to keep J restrained.

J's hands were about to be cuffed and in all he didn't appear disheartened by the fact he had lost, it was almost as though he had planned to end up there.

"Joker…" I mumbled trying to push myself to my feet but suddenly the pain of my injuries began to burn again and I became nervous at how long I had possibly been unconscious for. His grin lightened even more but sadness tainted his eyes as he saw the state of me. He had become the cold manic man I had met when he broke into my apartment and I became sickened at the thought that as quickly as I fallen in love with such a man, he could easily lose all affections towards me.

Batman ignored my movements as I grabbed my gun and began to pull myself up with a chair, taking my time in order to try and remain unnoticed. He radioed someone informing them that I was there, harmed but alive, and that he had captured the Joker. Immediately more sirens could be heard outside on the ground below and J cocked a brow towards me. I pointed the gun and J giggled, causing batman to glance towards me but it as too late. I shot the bat directly where the blade already protruded from his skin causing him to yelp in pain letting J go.

Without fault J sauntered towards me, his hands by now in cuffs and I flung my arms around him pulling his lips towards me which had a combination of blood and lipstick staining them and his teeth red. I allowed the iron taste to flood my mouth as tears began to cascade down my lips. I never wanted to let go. All I wanted was to feel this crazy mans arms back around my waist and have him laugh at me and tease me continuously. Yet I knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Nice knowing you dollface, at least you're one that survived." J whispered to me as we finally released one another from our locking lips. There was a hint of amusement in his voice and I giggled to myself yet the tears never stopped. "You're still so… _good"_ His voice whined as though it set a hunger within him that was unbearable, as though I was something marvellous to be spectated merely for that point. My heart began to melt.

Soon he was taken from my feeble grasp and I clung to the chair behind me to maintain my stance as batman pushed through a closed door which led to a concrete stairwell – obviously the fire exit – and kicked J in the back of his leg causing him to collapse to the floor his laughter and amusement never faltering.

I screamed, pushing myself forward with my limp and forced my weight on my foot to strive to get J back. "Bat! You stupid Bat let him go" I screamed, my voice breaking from the sheer agony that was erupting from my chest.

His laughter echoed in the stairwell as his eyes fixated on me as batman now dragged him along the floor by the cuffed hands behind his back.

"Don't leave me!" I screamed, salty tears streaming from my eyes, now lining my cheeks and lips.

"You did good doll face! Quite the toy indeed" he giggled calling after me as he began to slam against stairs. His face turned darker with every slam as the anger built up inside him from the pain that seared through his body.

"Toy?" I cried.

"Can't let yourself believe you were much more than that do you!?" He grinned, yet an emotion twinged in his blue eyes for a split moment. That tiny moment was the only thing leading me to believe that he stated such horrible things to save me from Batman. That I was not an accomplice, I was an innocent women suffering from Stockholm syndrome. At least I hoped that's the intention he had.  
"I would've used a **Shiv** on you by now if you weren't so _fun_ " he teased, a hidden message evident in his words.

I nodded to him, tears blurring my brown eyes as they watched the man I love be torn away from me, soon he and the bat were out of sight as I screamed and sobbed to myself. My heart ached as though it were being ripped through the skin and bones of my chest. The scars he left on my body burned. Every sob echoed through the stairwell. He was gone.

 _A/N:_ _And that's the end! Thank you so much for all the support I have received while making this. If you want a sequel please let me know and also let me know if you want a small extra chapter to be added. I hope you have enjoyed and thank you._


	30. Sequel Preview: Jester In The Deck

Months passed. I was questioned by police and diagnosed with Stockholm syndrome but i fought with every inch of my brain to maintain it was more. The incidents that occured where more than the manipulation of a madman but instead of a man scared to feel anything. A man less afraid of dying than to grow any form attachment.  
I had woken Shiv up after the incident and he was not to be seen again though thankfully i knew he had escaped the grasps of the police which I couldn't say the same for the rest of Jokers men who he had left to the mercy of Gothams police department. News scattered the news of Joker being sent once again to Arkhan asylum and my blood boiled as I sat on Jane's couch seeking to get him out so I could be reunited. So I could have my queries confirmed that the horrible words lectured to me daily were that of folklore and misunderstandings. I was sick of being babied, day and day out having doctors checking my inuuries both mental and physical. Each calling 'Jess' to me as I sat motionless and numb to the prodings of the words and hands. I wouldn't react, the name seemed foreign in my head. Jess was dead. Jester lived.  
With heart and soul I burned to have the man I loved back. I had lost Alfie and I wasn't about to lose him. I was helping him, filling a hole that Harley had only gaped further open in the already damaged man. I would get him back.  
Jane, the dear, had tried her best to make me enjoy my time yet every time she invited me out we were surrounded by paparazzi. The few occasions I sought to go drinking to appear as though a normal life was capable I only aimed for one club. When I heard her question my therapists as to why I kept wanting to go back they came up with their own ludicrous assumptions. I was trying to conquer my fears, I was trying to rewrite the past, I was trying to prove to myself I was stronger than what had occured but they were all wrong.. all so wrong. I went back because every time I gazed to the VIP level and hoped, begged, that his cold blue stare would be fixed on me. But they never where.  
We were two sides of the same coin. We were a ying and yang. I good with a point of darkness that i would thrive and live for those I loved. I would kill to prove my point. He was bad, the embodiment of darkness, but he would allow one to the ones he loved and prove a point.  
My mind ran in circles and although I maintain I am good, my body never seeked to kill or harm only to regain what I had lost, I was attracted to the beauty of darkness.  
I sneaked out of Janes apartment and found myself sat in the tattoo chair my hand sprawled before the man as the buzzing filled my ears. He smeared the blood away and I was left with a J embedded, permant on my ring finger. I grinned to myself as concern smother the mans face obviously identifying me from the media that had me casted across news channels updating my progress. His eyes cast to the scars slightly on show across my chest as I grinned manically to him, finally I felt alive again. I'm unsure if it was the pain or the mere symbolic statement but the ink felt as though I was once again connected to the madman once again as it was identical to the one that was on his pale cheek.  
I returned home, covering my face with a hat and scarf as the flashes of cameras blinded me. When I returned Jane handed me a letter, the first I had recieved in months. She lectured me for having left without her knowing or accompanying as I pulled the slim single card that lay within it. It was an invite from the club, claiming the media attention I had brought to the place was perfect and they needed me back tonight. I flipped it over and Shiv's name was scrawled on the back.  
Jane although resistant to the idea finally agreed as she knew I'd leave without her permission. The press once again lined the doors and were prevented from entering as I sauntered through nerves striking me for the first time. Jane left for the toilet as i entered the dance floor. I felt a gaze fixed on me and I turned my head to the VIP area as I had done so many times before. Yet this was different. Blue eyes stared back and a grin swept across his face.


	31. Sequel Link

s/12551799/1/A-House-of-Cards-Jesters-And-Jokers-Sequel


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